Giving nanny an hour break to leave the house at lunchtime. Should I still buy her lunch?

[Anonymous]

I buy lunch once or twice a week and get it for our nanny as well. On the days I don't buy lunch, she doesn't eat. I told her she can bring her own lunch or eat anything in our house, but she doesn't do that. She implied she doesn't like food unless it's from a restaurant. She said she has been in the habit of skipping lunch at work and it does seems like her energy level is fine. We do not eat together. I set aside part of my meal for my child and they eat together while I eat alone in my office. Or if I have time, I eat with my child while our nanny eats by herself in another room. I've told her she can eat with us but she prefers to have that time to herself.

I'm going to start letting our nanny leave the house to take a break during the first hour of nap time, from 1-2. She will be paid during that time, of course. Should I still buy her lunch when I get it for myself, which is at 12? I'll have no idea whether she's actually eating lunch on her break; she could be running errands or reading a book in the park. She's not the type to say. I can ask if she'd like me to buy her lunch, but she'll be too polite to say yes. I don't want to make her feel like she has to eat lunch at at the house if she'd prefer to buy her own lunch at a restaurant of her choosing an hour later.

[Anonymous]

Let her make her own eating choices. If she doesn’t eat lunch, that’s her prerogative. Lots of people skip lunch.

[Anonymous]

As a Nanny myself, you sounds very nice, buying and providing lunch for her. Don't feel like you have to do it everyday, as a nanny I would appreciate very much if my family would buy me lunch a couple of days from a restaurant. That's very nice of you. But I do think your nanny it's a little picky; saying she Only eats and like food from restaurants..really? ... I think it would be nice also from here to bring her own lunch sometimes so you don't feel the pressure to be worry about her if she eats or not. That it would be up to her; if she wants to be on a diet and don't want to eat only bcs you don't buy her lunch a certain day.

I currently work for a wonderful and nice family who allows me to help myself with everything it's at their house. And ask me what I like to keep in the fridge; and sometimes I bring my lunch too, bcs I want to do it. But anyways, I think it's super nice of giving me the option to grab something from their house for my lunch. Your nanny must be more grateful and appreciate more, the fact that you buy her lunch from rest but honestly I think she should not expect you to buy her food every time you want to buy for you. And not eat anything if you don't buy her something.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here. Some days I skip lunch at work but can eat anything I want in my bosses house. She should never expect her employer to buy her lunch. Of course it’s nice but most people bring their lunch to work .

[Anonymous]

restaurants' meals are increasingly expensive and of low quality. It is a non-issue for most nannies. Bring your own lunch and don't involve your employer in each and every aspect of your day in their house.

[Anonymous]

Its the first time I hear a nanny skip her lunch just bcs that day, employer do not buy also for her. But when the employer would like to buy something for herself and ask this Nanny; she will always say say and never decline. Of course, this nanny is taking advantage waiting for you to offer her and a day you don't buy her she just decide no to eat anything. To me, as a nanny, It's seems to be a little rude or like she is taking advantage of the nice gesture you.

If she told you that she just eat food from restaurants, I will say... "ohh that's great, good for you" and let her buy her own lunch; so she doesn't get use to it.

Also I think it's not nice that you felt bad for ordering one day and no for her. Most of professional nanny bring ther lunch and also they are always to help themselves with the food from the Family. This is my case. My nanny family is very nice and I bring my own lunch to work a couple of days and the other days I am very welcome to prepare something from their house, like a sandwich, fruit, salad, veggies etc. I always appreciate this nice gesture from my employers.

So OP, if both of you agreed to take herself a one hour for lunch break and leave the house; it's up to you offer maybe once to buy lunch and she can take it outside and eat it, park etc. The other days, she will be find, packing her favorite and expensive restaurants and she is very welcome to go and buy it herself with her own pocket. It's up to her to no appreciate a sandwich from your home and prefer to spend everyday lunch from a restaurant like a business woman. So let her spend her own money on her luxuries.

If she just doesn't want to eat anything in her lunch time; it's not your stomach it's hers. It's her, the one who is going to get sick soon. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Ohh wow, what a weird and picky nanny. Declining to prepare something for herself from your kitchen, when you are nice offering that option; but without doubt accepting a lunch everytime when you offer to buy her one from a restaurant LOL..... and sacrificing herself to no eat anything, unless you buy again for her.

Honestly you are being nice but she is just weird. I don't think you have to buy her lunch, even if she will be allowed to go out and come back. But if you want to, that would be nice of you. But your nanny can very well prepare something easy from you house and eat it outside as one PP said , so she can relax and have this time for herself and enjoy the weather outside.

Otherwise, just can just help her to look in Google maps the best restaurants near your house and encourage her to go and give it a try and then tell you what was the her favorite during that week; so you can have a review from her own perspective if you and your husband would like to go for a date night or so someday. LOL.

Signed, a Nanny.

[Anonymous]

I think it is rude for your Nanny to remark that she only eats food from a restaurant.

It seems like she is “hinting” that she would like you to buy her lunch every day that she is there.

[Anonymous]

All my previous and current Family, provide and stuck things of my preference to eat for lunch like, lunch meat, fruit, coffe. They are and all of them have been such a great employers and without even me ask for anything; this has always come from them asked me what I like to buy for me and keep in in fridge. I try to eat them all, before they would throw them away and get bad and they stock more. I always been so grateful about that and very happy to work for them.

Sometimes, I just like to bring my lunch too, when I have something cooked and have left overs from night before from my home or a Monday when I went out and bought food from a restaurant on the wknd.

From my opinion as a nanny, you seems to be a good employer too; offering your nanny to help herself for whatever you have in your house. But if she's stating that she prefer to eat food only from restaurants and expecting you, to buy her too everytime you want to order for you; as a Nanny, I would feel bad about it, saying "Yes" everytime when you offer to buy me food from a restaurant and saying "No thanks, I pass" if you would be me offering to prepare something practical and easy from your fridge. I this that it's very very rude from her and also ungrateful. She doesn't seems to be a humble person.

So, if she is a big fan eatting food only from restaurants and has a very good and expensive taste, let her buy it from her pocket. If she doesn't want to make a sandwich from your fridge; let her be. So maybe she is able to afford buying lunch for herself everyday, but You don't have to feel bad, if someday you are starving to eat something for your favorite restaurant and you don't offer this day to buy something for her aswell. Of course, I'm not saying never buy something for her, that's very nice of you. But you can do it sometimes and not feel like it's your responsibility everyday. If my employer would tell me "hey Ana, I'm ordering something for lunch today, would you like too"? Probably I would say "Ohh that's very nice of you, but I am happy to make a sandwich from here today, thanks anyway". And or course other time I could say " Yes, Thank you so much". (But maybe once a week). Well that's me. As a nanny.

Good luck Op.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for everyone’s feedback. I think I didn’t describe the situation well. Our nanny is a model employee. She never complains or causes drama, and she is very loving to our child. I treat her nicely because I appreciate her. Also, she’s young so I feel sort of motherly to her. I think I’ll keep buying her lunch if I’m getting it for myself. Even if it’s not exactly what she’d prefer that day, she can go to other restaurants the rest of the week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for everyone’s feedback. I think I didn’t describe the situation well. Our nanny is a model employee. She never complains or causes drama, and she is very loving to our child. I treat her nicely because I appreciate her. Also, she’s young so I feel sort of motherly to her. I think I’ll keep buying her lunch if I’m getting it for myself. Even if it’s not exactly what she’d prefer that day, she can go to other restaurants the rest of the week.

Too much drama to this OP?. You already had your own response. Why too much drama asking this question, if you are ok and happy buying lunch for her. That would be great, if you want to keep buying lunch for her. So this nanny can save money, so no need to spend her own money to eat food from restaurant.

[Anonymous]

The moms at the beggining always asks me if I want something too. I'm Hispanic and I'm shy and I rather don't. I bring my tea and some crackers. But I'm thankful she asked.

[Anonymous]

OP, your nanny is very lucky to have you as a boss. I currently work for a family who doesn’t offer water or coffee period. Forget lunch or snacks, I bring water, coffee, and fruits daily to work. The family doesn’t own a microwave, so I can’t bring anything that needs to warmed up. I basically just check my email and eat my small snacks while kids nap for one to two hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, your nanny is very lucky to have you as a boss. I currently work for a family who doesn’t offer water or coffee period. Forget lunch or snacks, I bring water, coffee, and fruits daily to work. The family doesn’t own a microwave, so I can’t bring anything that needs to warmed up. I basically just check my email and eat my small snacks while kids nap for one to two hours.

I believe you PP. Once I worked for a family like this. When one of the parents were making a coffe in front of me; they never even Once offer me anything. Even a glass of water. In the pandemic time; when both parents used to order their food for lunch; same... never in my dreams could think even for accident, they would offer something for me.

I'm not saying that I need them to feed me like "please, look at my poor and starving face", never I tryed to ask anything. But at think it would be nice when employers offer to the Nanny at least some snacks or at least a banana if a nanny forget by accident her lunch. Anyways, I always brought my own lunch, water, coffe, snacks etc. But I felt so weird; working in an environment like this. At least it was a temporary position and I was happy when the position end.

It was the only family that never offer me as I said "help yourself if you would like to have some water".

Now and in all my former Nanny positions, I have always been provided with everything for lunch. It's really nice how my employers are now and my past has been. They asked me what I like; so they would get it when do groceries shopping. Including my favorite brands, bread, coffe, or favorite fruit. I feel so blessed and grateful to work for such nice families like them. Where I'm always happy and feel very welcome. So nice that sometimes the mom or dad.. are craving with their favorite chips and ask me would you like some; if I finish this first, there's a second bag in the pantry. Really nice and I appreciate this very much. So I never have to worry about taking lunch everyday!

[Anonymous]

PP, you are a drama queen, Why cant you pour yourself some tap water? Why do you have a "poor starving face"? Why cant you buy yourself what you want? I would be ashamed to expect my employers to provide any of those things you name , like coffee, fruit. Look at the prices, those things are expensive and parents already pay you more than they can probably afford. If they dont pay you enough, look for another employer but stop whining for lack of your favorite snacks like a spoiled child.