Was I Wrong To Feel A Little Offended?

[Anonymous]

I am currently working as a Nanny for a ten-mos old little girl.

I have been w/this family since the little one was between 2-3 mos old, so about eight months thus far.

Usually when the Mom comes home from work, the baby is either sleeping or if awake in a good mood.
Well today the little girl had both her morning nap as well as her afternoon nap cut short, I think due to poopy diapers.
Like about 45 min into both naps, she just woke up crying.
She looked so tired when she awoke & I could tell she was not fully awake so my best guess is she was not comfortable sleeping in a dirty diaper.

She typically sleeps 2.5 hrs for her first nap >> then about 1-1.5 hrs for her second.
So I was changing her diaper + she was crying really loud.
Very inconsolable.

The Mom walked in the door and said, “What in the world is wrong….??!!”
When I told her that she had both naps cut short that day presumably due to soiling her diaper, she initially seemingly ignored me.
Then her husband came home and she said to him, “I have NEVER heard her cry like this. Ever!”
The husband jumped in and immediately told her that that was how she cried when the Mom wasn’t home and he had to watch her.

I think he thought I would feel offended which I sort of was.
Then they both went into the kitchen and whispered for like five min.
Afterward she told me that she was so grateful that her daughter was always in great hands when I was there, then she thanked me 2x for taking good care of her baby today!??

Her comment is still bothering me though.
I feel as if she was initially implying that I had done something to make her child cry so intensely.

Btw, there are cameras in every room (except the bathroom I hope!) so she can always look at me anytime during the day.

[Anonymous]

"I have NEVER heard her cry like this."

You are offended because she had never heard her cry like this? So what if she really hadn't? What does that have to do with you?

[Anonymous]

I would start looking for a new family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I have NEVER heard her cry like this."

You are offended because she had never heard her cry like this? So what if she really hadn't? What does that have to do with you?

The mother'd behavior and comments were uncalled for. Babies cry and sometimes they cry harder and louder than usual. A dirty diaper and nap cut short is a good reason for infant to be cranky. The mother was inferring that OP had done something to make the child cry and this is unacceptable.

If I were OP, I would have a discussion with both parents about this and it they ever said anything comparable again, I would find another position.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I have NEVER heard her cry like this."

You are offended because she had never heard her cry like this? So what if she really hadn't? What does that have to do with you?

The mother'd behavior and comments were uncalled for. Babies cry and sometimes they cry harder and louder than usual. A dirty diaper and nap cut short is a good reason for infant to be cranky. The mother was inferring that OP had done something to make the child cry and this is unacceptable.

If I were OP, I would have a discussion with both parents about this and it they ever said anything comparable again, I would find another position.

+1

Absolutely!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I have NEVER heard her cry like this."

You are offended because she had never heard her cry like this? So what if she really hadn't? What does that have to do with you?

Ignore this comment OP. This Pp doesn't have any idea and clearly she doesn't understand what this means for a wonderful nanny like you and all of us out there. I would feel exactly the same way and would feel very offended, very upset and very dissapointed if one my employers would say that to me. Clearly she meant to tell you that you DID something to her baby and that was the reason she was crying so bad. I would never allow to a parent tell me that. As I could see the lack of trust they have on me and most sad part it would be that they wouldn't appreciate and believe how much I love and care for her precious children.

I would start looking for a new family. Sorry but for me it's a strong No. No way I would keep working for them. Any other day that her daughter will cry like that when she is growing and then she might start accusing me of hurt her child. No way.

Move on OP. Something it's broken already in your relationship with this family and it will never come back to be the same. Good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

Not trying to judge but why is she sleeping in a poopy diaper? Are you not checking before she goes to sleep? Or do you put her down awake and then she poops and then falls asleep? I’ve been a nanny for four infants and they never pooped while sleeping…

With regard to the mom, she sounds mentally ill. I would not tolerate that behavior from my employer. Not only would I quit (I dont think you need to give her the courtesy of two weeks unless you want to), I would explicitly explain why you are quitting. Her whispering with her husband in the kitchen was probably him telling her what a fool she was, which is why she then came back and thanked you 2x.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not trying to judge but why is she sleeping in a poopy diaper? Are you not checking before she goes to sleep? Or do you put her down awake and then she poops and then falls asleep? I’ve been a nanny for four infants and they never pooped while sleeping…

With regard to the mom, she sounds mentally ill. I would not tolerate that behavior from my employer. Not only would I quit (I dont think you need to give her the courtesy of two weeks unless you want to), I would explicitly explain why you are quitting. Her whispering with her husband in the kitchen was probably him telling her what a fool she was, which is why she then came back and thanked you 2x.

Of course you were judging. I have three children and all have popped a diaper while sleeping and woke up crying because of poopy diaper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not trying to judge but why is she sleeping in a poopy diaper? Are you not checking before she goes to sleep? Or do you put her down awake and then she poops and then falls asleep? I’ve been a nanny for four infants and they never pooped while sleeping…

With regard to the mom, she sounds mentally ill. I would not tolerate that behavior from my employer. Not only would I quit (I dont think you need to give her the courtesy of two weeks unless you want to), I would explicitly explain why you are quitting. Her whispering with her husband in the kitchen was probably him telling her what a fool she was, which is why she then came back and thanked you 2x.

OP Here - Thx for all the great advice everyone!

To answer your question PP, no I always change a child into a fresh diaper before putting them down for a nap.
I think what happened w/this baby is she likely fell asleep in a clean diaper, then like halfway through her nap she woke up & pooped her diaper and could not fall asleep again (who could blame her?) so that is why she was crying.
By the second nap she awoke again + by that time she was just too tired.

Yes, I agree that the parents were talking in the kitchen about what she had just said.
Because the Mother seemed apologetic w/o being apologetic, do you know what I mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not trying to judge but why is she sleeping in a poopy diaper? Are you not checking before she goes to sleep? Or do you put her down awake and then she poops and then falls asleep? I’ve been a nanny for four infants and they never pooped while sleeping…

With regard to the mom, she sounds mentally ill. I would not tolerate that behavior from my employer. Not only would I quit (I dont think you need to give her the courtesy of two weeks unless you want to), I would explicitly explain why you are quitting. Her whispering with her husband in the kitchen was probably him telling her what a fool she was, which is why she then came back and thanked you 2x.

Of course you were judging. I have three children and all have popped a diaper while sleeping and woke up crying because of poopy diaper.

Well in my experience 10 month olds don’t poop while they are sleeping. They might poop in their crib and then fall asleep or they might wake up and poop. But poop while they’re sleeping? Lol, no. You might want to have your kids checked for incontinence issues…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not trying to judge but why is she sleeping in a poopy diaper? Are you not checking before she goes to sleep? Or do you put her down awake and then she poops and then falls asleep? I’ve been a nanny for four infants and they never pooped while sleeping…

With regard to the mom, she sounds mentally ill. I would not tolerate that behavior from my employer. Not only would I quit (I dont think you need to give her the courtesy of two weeks unless you want to), I would explicitly explain why you are quitting. Her whispering with her husband in the kitchen was probably him telling her what a fool she was, which is why she then came back and thanked you 2x.

Of course you were judging. I have three children and all have popped a diaper while sleeping and woke up crying because of poopy diaper.

Well in my experience 10 month olds don’t poop while they are sleeping. They might poop in their crib and then fall asleep or they might wake up and poop. But poop while they’re sleeping? Lol, yeno. You might want to have your kids checked for incontinence issues…

Do you have a medical degree? If no, then it is presumptuous of you to give medical advice or suggestions unless asked for.

[Anonymous]

Ridiculous to get upset about this, OP, if you otherwise have a decent relationship. Besides, the dad told his wife HE had heard the baby cry like that before. No big deal, but if you want to look for a new job over something petty like this, go for it.

[Anonymous]

Trust is gone now.

Waking at the 45 minute mark is pretty normal.

[Anonymous]

??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not trying to judge but why is she sleeping in a poopy diaper? Are you not checking before she goes to sleep? Or do you put her down awake and then she poops and then falls asleep? I’ve been a nanny for four infants and they never pooped while sleeping…

With regard to the mom, she sounds mentally ill. I would not tolerate that behavior from my employer. Not only would I quit (I dont think you need to give her the courtesy of two weeks unless you want to), I would explicitly explain why you are quitting. Her whispering with her husband in the kitchen was probably him telling her what a fool she was, which is why she then came back and thanked you 2x.

You should get another profession haha I am a nanny of 14 years and have had plenty of babies poop during nap time .