rebuilding trust

[Anonymous]

What do you do when the nanny has a major emergency that resulted in your kids being left at school and you having to be called by the school to pick them up? This happened a while ago and the emergency seems to have resolved, but how do you actually trust again?

[Anonymous]

Have a conversation about what to do should the situation ever happen again. It was an emergency, but she should have communicated with you. At the very least, a text message.

[Anonymous]

OP said it was a “major” emergency.
While having the school call you may be embarrassing and inconvenient, were your children at any moment unsafe?

[Anonymous]

What was the emergency?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you do when the nanny has a major emergency that resulted in your kids being left at school and you having to be called by the school to pick them up? This happened a while ago and the emergency seems to have resolved, but how do you actually trust again?

Wow. My NF understand that I'm human, and while I will immediately communicate any emergencies to them, their children are safe at school if I have to go to the ER (or deal with another emergency). None of them would lose any trust in me over dealing with it and keeping them informed as the situation unfolded.

[Anonymous]

A major emergency and you’ve lost trust? Wow I hope she quits because you don’t respect her. She is human for God sakes!

[Anonymous]

I get the sense that there’s more to it, OP. We’re you fully happy with the nanny to begin with or were there issues? If the latter, your reaction makes sense. If the former, than it is too extreme.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you do when the nanny has a major emergency that resulted in your kids being left at school and you having to be called by the school to pick them up? This happened a while ago and the emergency seems to have resolved, but how do you actually trust again?

You sound like the MB from Hell.

[Anonymous]

A major emergency is exactly that- a major emergency. Is your nanny a human being? Does she leave her home? Does she get in a vehicle? Does she have children or a significant other or a family? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, I would be understanding and provide her with empathy.

My nanny's daughter has a very very severe allergy. If her daughter had to be rushed to ER for life saving treatment, I would never hound her for missing school pick up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have a conversation about what to do should the situation ever happen again. It was an emergency, but she should have communicated with you. At the very least, a text message.

Nanny here. I agree with this. Emergencies do happen —I have a medical issue so if I can’t make it in I make sure my sister (who I live with) knows to contact my employer so that they know. You have to have systems in place

[Anonymous]

What happened? Was she incapacitated? Car accident? Someone else in family taken sick? Context and details matter. If someone else in the family was sick or incapacitated and not her, and she just forgot to tell you she could not get your children, that’s very different from her having a stroke or heart attack and being incapacitated and unable to get the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A major emergency and you’ve lost trust? Wow I hope she quits because you don’t respect her. She is human for God sakes!

This. These parents are beyond full of themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A major emergency and you’ve lost trust? Wow I hope she quits because you don’t respect her. She is human for God sakes!

This. These parents are beyond full of themselves.

OP here. Her parent was sick. This was not the first time and it was a couple of weeks of taking a few days off here and there. We have been understanding and before this last emergency, she was out for 8 days. So in a vacuum it looks like we just lost trust after one emergency, but it's been a pattern and we've tried to work with her, but we do need communication. Flame away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A major emergency and you’ve lost trust? Wow I hope she quits because you don’t respect her. She is human for God sakes!

This. These parents are beyond full of themselves.

OP here. Her parent was sick. This was not the first time and it was a couple of weeks of taking a few days off here and there. We have been understanding and before this last emergency, she was out for 8 days. So in a vacuum it looks like we just lost trust after one emergency, but it's been a pattern and we've tried to work with her, but we do need communication. Flame away.

I’d say do yourself and the nanny a favor of parting ways. You aren’t a good fit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A major emergency and you’ve lost trust? Wow I hope she quits because you don’t respect her. She is human for God sakes!

This. These parents are beyond full of themselves.

OP here. Her parent was sick. This was not the first time and it was a couple of weeks of taking a few days off here and there. We have been understanding and before this last emergency, she was out for 8 days. So in a vacuum it looks like we just lost trust after one emergency, but it's been a pattern and we've tried to work with her, but we do need communication. Flame away.

Sick how? If her parent was in the ER, she may gave forgotten to text on the way the first day, but after that, she should have been able to tell you when she was needed, especially if she's making decisions for them. Why was she out for 8 days prior to this emergency?