Feeling stressed and sad
![[Post New]](/nanny-forum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
I know I am going to get flamed for this. but I am also hopeful that I can get some good ideas here too. We have three kids but oldest is in school and middle will do 4 day a week preschool. So sometimes all three and sometimes only 1 kid. We pay hourly rate as the same whether nanny has all or just one.
We can only pay 23/hour. (Don't live in DC anymore, so this is low average not scandalously low). We give all federal holidays, two weeks at Christmas and week at Thanksgiving plus another week of nanny choice. We have been very flexible when she needs time or wants to leave early or take a long weekend. We are good employers and managers. We encourage self care. We are rarely late (if we ever are it is because of a highway accident) and we communicate clearly about it and pay overtime (as we should). We stock food nanny likes. We don't ask for any chores (other than.lunch prep and help.kids clean up their mess). We don't ask nanny to do anything during nap time and are not looking to "fill her hours". We let her go early on the rare occasions that we are home early. We are not insane and not micromanagers. Our biggest rules are around COVID safety. . We take care of MIL who has Parkinson's and heart conditions, so we pulled DDs our of daycare and did a nanny. Youngest still can't mask, so daycare really is out of the question right now. Our nanny is going back to college so she is leaving in July. She has been with us 2 years so I think we are good employers and easy to work for. My frustration is that I can't find anyone to replace her. I think so of the autonomy and flexibility is worth something, even though we can't pay more. But I can't even get people to answer my care.com.ads. I know the snark is that I am looking for something I can't afford and that's why I can't find it and not everyone can have a nanny and that's life. And I hear you but I feel really stuck right now with primary caring MIL and really needing to be COVID cautious. Any ideas how to market the perks a little more to drum up interest. Can I sell the perks enough to get someone to take the position. After having a crazy af boss, I would take a normal and nice manager for a little.less rather than a toxic environment. Thanks for any help. |
Anonymous
| OP here - for added context if it helps. If we have a positive in the house or close contact and need to quarantine, that leaves no one to care for MIL. So while just avoiding COVID is part of it, it is really more about the ripple effect of a positive or close contact would have on her care and it's not like we can just rustle up a care giver when we have an exposure |
Anonymous
| It’s going to be tough, OP. That’s an extremely low wage. I would look into a nanny share if I were you. |
Anonymous
| Hopefully you are paying those $23. P-H off the books. Even though is off the books; still is a very low rate. It might be a good option what PP says... what about a nanny share? You should look for extended day programs with 2 older and try to find a nanny share for the youngest. Try your best and no loose hopes! |
Anonymous
| Reach out to early childhood majors at a nearby college. |
Anonymous
| Maybe an aupair would be your best bet. |
Anonymous
|
I don’t understand why you can’t do daycare for your youngest since you have two older kids exposed in school anyway. Your youngest can be vaccinated now.
|
Anonymous
|
It doesn’t make sense to keep the youngest out of daycare when the older ones go to school. Plus, vaccines?
I’m a nanny and have to be honest. It’s not just the low wage for 3 kids. It’s having your MIL home all day. That’s the problem. Sorry. |
Anonymous
| Do an au pair, nanny share, or in home daycare. It all seems negligible with the older kids in two different school classes anyway |
Anonymous
|
If you really want to limit exposure, find a live-in caregiver for MIL and a live-in nanny for your children. This may mean paying 24/7 to control their outside exposures.
If you really want to limit exposure, keep all three children at home, and have the nanny do online school or homeschool with the school age child, preschool activities with the middle child, and age-appropriate play with the youngest. |
Anonymous
I don't think this would be a good idea for OP. As this advice will cost her so much money than just paying $23 which she can afford. Hiring a personal care provider for MIL it's expensive and hiring a Nanny with experience and knowledge of tutor-teaching experience will cost more more money than just Hiring a typical nanny. No counting a live in Nanny and a care provider for MIL living together with you. |
Anonymous
That's not the point. My point was that she's not limiting exposure by trying to find a nanny and keeping the kids in school. Nor is she limiting exposure when both the nanny and caregiver can go do whatever they want on their own time. FWIW, I'm a live-in nanny. Sometimes I work 24/5 or 24/7, if my employer's job requires that type of schedule. Last year, I was hired to homeschool 3 children and I was paid for 24/7 because the family wanted to control my exposure during non-working hours. The eldest could have gone to school, but the two younger children weren't old enough to vaccinate, and the parents decided that they wanted to limit exposure, so I homeschooled all three. |
Anonymous
OP here - The biggest issue is that the youngest can't mask. The older two mask and mask well and wear KN95 masks, even outside with other kids. So, we are limiting exposure as much as we can also trying to balance their other needs. The toddler can't mask yet, so she is the biggest risk if she is in group care. Having a nanny greatly reduces this risk. I would love to have a house that allows for live-in and I would love to be able to afford 24/7 care for MIL (for so so so many reasons). But, here we are. I was hoping someone would have some ideas about how to sell other perks (which I also understand are not totally perks because not being an awful boss should not be a selling point, but I know we have all heard stories. I do think having a sane, flexible, caring boss is important and does have some value - now if that value is 5 dollars / hour less than market value or not... not sure. But with some of the people I worked with.. I mean, yes, maybe? anyway. I appreciate the ideas and that people are trying to help me figure this out. If any more come up, please let me know. |
Anonymous
|
Your problem is that lots of employers who pay well are also kind, flexible, respectful, etc.
The only selling point would be if the nanny lived close enough to walk to work ( less than a mile away). I lowered my rate considerably a few years ago when a found a newborn-family a block and a half from my apartment. |
Anonymous
|
OP, since you probably have a specific budget in mind for hiring a new Nanny, you may not have the extra $$ for add’l perks such as medical insurance, a gym membership and/or a pool membership, etc.
It is not easy coming up w/some add’l perks that are no-low cost. Allowing your future Nanny access to wash + dry her laundry at your house would be ideal. But that is just one idea. You are likely going to find it challenging to find a Nanny at your current rate, but it is not impossible to do so. It just may take a little longer. Besides Care.com have you tried any other avenues to seek a caregiver for your kids?? I.e., Sittercity, Nanny Agencies, Facebook groups or even word of mouth. You just might have to cast your net a bit further. I wish you all the best in your search! 
|