Ex au pair ask me to sponsor her, it is complicated...
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Anonymous
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We had an au pair in 2019 who we really liked. She was with us for a year. We asked her to extend with us but she said no because she wanted a different experience. She extended with a local family who works for the government. I was a bit hurt but understood.
Because of COVID, our next au pair couldn't come and we spend a year scrambling for childcare. We kept in touch with her and have a great relation. She stayed in the area and I was her reference for some nanny jobs she got after finishing her year with her other family. I got a lot of calls from families who wanted to hire her. I also tried to hire her as an after-school nanny but she said no because she preferred a full-time job so she can make a lot of money for her studies. She tries to visit the kids for their birthday, brings presents for the kids (we also sent presents) and is a nice person and my family loves her. She texted me that she want to apply for a Master's and if I can sponsor her. She says she has the money but just needs an American sponsor on the paper. Her most recent family works for the government and can't sponsor her. She tells me a lot of HF do that and that is no risk for me. To be honest I am uncomfortable with the idea for many reasons. I know a lot of families do that, but they usually take risks because they are getting some childcare in return. Why would I take so much risk? Also, I am a bit bitter she rejected us twice!! If she would have stayed with us or was still working for us I could have convinced myself to take the risk but right now I find her casual demand a bit too much. I guess I encouraged her by being her reference for all thise jobs she was applying for. Btw we paid her to babysit for us once since she left. She is kind of my backup babysitter but I have a lot of other options. I asked her to babysit because I knew she needed the money and the kids would love to see her. By the way, he claims that according to her lawyer there is no risk for me because I don't work for the government, it is really the only risk? WWYD? |
Anonymous
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OP here again. I guess my other question is what are the risks of this? if she gets sick or runs over someone, are we responsible or it is just for education expenses?
Can she actually transfer us the money for her education and we pay for it? TIA |
Anonymous
| What kind of visa is she on currently? How is she working as a nanny? Sounds like a lot of red flags here already. |
Anonymous
I think she extended her visa to get a visitor visa and is working illegally. |
Anonymous
| That's a big ask and you're not comfortable with it. I'd say no. |
Anonymous
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She had no problem saying no to you when it didn’t meet her needs even though you really needed her help.
So you should not have any problem saying no to her. In addition, spinning someone’s visa is no joke. I think you are on the hook for them if they take any government benefits |
Anonymous
No way would I sponsor her. |
Anonymous
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OP, let me google that for you:
https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/free-books/fiance-marriage-visa-book/chapter3-5.html The link above says, "The Form I-864 Affidavit of Support is a legally enforceable contract, meaning that either the government or the sponsored immigrant can take the sponsor to court if the sponsor fails to provide adequate support to the immigrant. In fact, the law places more obligations on the sponsor than on the immigrant—the immigrant could decide to quit a job and sue the sponsor for support." It goes on to say, "The sponsor's responsibility lasts until the immigrant becomes a U.S. citizen, has earned 40 work quarters credited toward Social Security (a work quarter is about three months, so this means about ten years of work), dies, or permanently leaves the United States. If the immigrant has already been living in the U.S. and earned work credits before applying for the green card, those count toward the 40." You would be COMPLETELY INSANE to agree to this. |
Anonymous
| It’s unbelievably ballsy of your au pair to ask this (and we’ve been hosts for 9 years and have seriously considered this). This is a really easy no. |
Anonymous
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No! You’d be taking on quite a bit of risk. She either misunderstood her lawyer (most likely) or her lawyer does not understand the law. The law cited above applies to everyone. Government employees may have additional restrictions placed on them by their employer, or anecdotally there may be more instances of government employees being caught, but there is absolutely risk to anyone sponsoring.
If she truly has the money, why does she need you to sponsor? She can sponsor herself or have a family member do it. |
Anonymous
| Honestly, OP, I'd politely decline and then cease contact with her. She sounds like a selfish user. |
Anonymous
| I find it humorous when an aupair explains how it's no risk for a family to agree to support them financially. |
Anonymous
| The au pairs are beyond bratty right now. Hard no. Stop with the entitled asking HFs to put things on the line for them |
Anonymous
| I was sponsored as a Nanny but switched type to administrative because it was quicker, so I’ve been thru this. It’s totally above board for you to sponsor her BUT she is not legally allowed to work while being sponsored. If she is going to be a student why doesn’t she just get a student visa? Something isn’t adding up. |
Anonymous
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OP here, I said NO and feel so much better. Tbh I am still surprised she casually asked me to do it. It was really like "you don't work for the government, this is no risk for you". I was a bit offended but wanted to at least think if there were ways to help her because we have (had?) a good relationship.
Anyway, thanks, everyone! |