Nanny of 4 years and car pooling

[Anonymous]

Our afternoon nanny/ housekeeper is back to picking up both of our kids after school, in our vehicle, as well as getting them to their sports or lessons outside of the house. As the children have aged, they often have to both be places at the same time or have friends thus we car pool with close to the house families. For school pick up or soccer Tuesdays, etc.

Apparently my nanny is complaining to my children about having to car pool and drop off a friend 3 minutes from our home in our exact neighborhood. That child’s parents or sitter drive our child an equal amount of time as well. Our nanny is complaining about how she should get paid more by us and that child’s parents.

We view car pooling for kids age 7-15 quite common and a natural part of what we will need in childcare going forward. We pay our nanny well, she has a lot of downtime given the ages of the kids, and she’s driving our car. Is it time to find another person or an au pair who isn’t comparing every time a task changes? We have play dates too, does she want to charge me for those?

[Anonymous]

Most nannies are paid extra for carpooling or playdates.

[Anonymous]

Get an au pair. Nannies want babies who nap.

[Anonymous]

Kids that age are so busy the nanny should be organizing the car pools, sign-ups, and logistics!

We never paid our nanny when a kid stopped by to play or when their family did one-way drive to a practice and we did it back. That's nuts.

Frankly when the older kid's friends were over the nanny didn't have to do anything but check on them once in awhile.
Totally normal; you're paying for time and childcare, not different prices for different things - cook, drive, homework, friend over, watch a tennis practice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most nannies are paid extra for carpooling or playdates.

+1

This is very true.
If I had my Nanny host an extra child over for a play date or have them drive another child home everyday, I most certainly would offer extra pay.

It’s just the right thing to do when you are an employer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our afternoon nanny/ housekeeper is back to picking up both of our kids after school, in our vehicle, as well as getting them to their sports or lessons outside of the house. As the children have aged, they often have to both be places at the same time or have friends thus we car pool with close to the house families. For school pick up or soccer Tuesdays, etc.

Apparently my nanny is complaining to my children about having to car pool and drop off a friend 3 minutes from our home in our exact neighborhood. That child’s parents or sitter drive our child an equal amount of time as well. Our nanny is complaining about how she should get paid more by us and that child’s parents.

We view car pooling for kids age 7-15 quite common and a natural part of what we will need in childcare going forward. We pay our nanny well, she has a lot of downtime given the ages of the kids, and she’s driving our car. Is it time to find another person or an au pair who isn’t comparing every time a task changes? We have play dates too, does she want to charge me for those?

Yeah. Good luck with that! Nannies who drive and are open to just working a part time afternoon schedule aren't exactly a dime a dozen.

[Anonymous]

I don’t like driving any other children beyond my charges. Did your housekeeper agree to carpooling other kids? Have you talked her her about it since she started?

[Anonymous]

If I was the Nanny and I carpooled with the other person that would be fine. But if I’m always taking the other kid a d then when it’s the other families turn to take my charge but it’s during your time so I don’t benefit I’m going to get resentful. If this is the case and she is always the one driving you need to offer some type of compensation.

[Anonymous]

It's all about the way it's structured. If she also has more kids and never fewer, then yes, you and/or the other parent need to pay more. If she's seeing the number of kids go down as well as up, it's nbd.

BTW, APs are only allowed to drive their charges, per visa rules.

[Anonymous]

If you aren't driving its not really carpooling and yes, she should get paid for the extra kids as she is only paid to care for your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's all about the way it's structured. If she also has more kids and never fewer, then yes, you and/or the other parent need to pay more. If she's seeing the number of kids go down as well as up, it's nbd.

BTW, APs are only allowed to drive their charges, per visa rules.

Yep. Also, APs can't be your "housekeeper."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's all about the way it's structured. If she also has more kids and never fewer, then yes, you and/or the other parent need to pay more. If she's seeing the number of kids go down as well as up, it's nbd.

BTW, APs are only allowed to drive their charges, per visa rules.

Pp again. The only time I have agreed to carpooling that wasn’t really carpooling (which implies rotating who is doing it!) was when it caused no extra work for me. The child two houses down attended the same private school and his parents asked if he could ride there and back everyday. I texted them anytime we weren’t coming home, and they had to arrange pick up, sometimes less than an hour before school got out, because one child’s plans fell through and I had to drive to practice instead of doing pick up. And if he wasn’t outside and waiting for us, or knocking on our front door to wait inside, he didn’t get a ride to school.

I was asked when I took the job if I would agree to give him a ride everyday. I was allowed to set the conditions and his parents were grateful enough for the help that they were happy to accede.

Otherwise? I’m happy to pick up 5 different kids everyday on the way to wherever… but each additional parent pays $5 per leg, more if their child misbehaves, and if their child routinely misbehaves, I reserve the right no longer chauffeur them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our afternoon nanny/ housekeeper is back to picking up both of our kids after school, in our vehicle, as well as getting them to their sports or lessons outside of the house. As the children have aged, they often have to both be places at the same time or have friends thus we car pool with close to the house families. For school pick up or soccer Tuesdays, etc.

Apparently my nanny is complaining to my children about having to car pool and drop off a friend 3 minutes from our home in our exact neighborhood. That child’s parents or sitter drive our child an equal amount of time as well. Our nanny is complaining about how she should get paid more by us and that child’s parents.

We view car pooling for kids age 7-15 quite common and a natural part of what we will need in childcare going forward. We pay our nanny well, she has a lot of downtime given the ages of the kids, and she’s driving our car. Is it time to find another person or an au pair who isn’t comparing every time a task changes? We have play dates too, does she want to charge me for those?

Yeah. Good luck with that! Nannies who drive and are open to just working a part time afternoon schedule aren't exactly a dime a dozen.

I don't think she has lots of downtime. When she is not with the kids she must be cleaning and doing all chores that Housekeepers do. That's lots of work.

[Anonymous]

So you’re considering firing your housekeeper/nanny of four years because she complains about a new responsibility she never signed on for?

You’re an ugly woman, OP. Try a gratitude list.

[Anonymous]

If your kids aged out of that nanny due to their activities and driving/carpooling needs, that sounds like a mutual departure.

My charges get picked up by other teammates Nannie’s, APs, parents and grandparents for camp or sport carpools and I never see anyone collecting 5 per person for driving the same thing.

There also always aftercare and bussing options.