Bereavement Days??
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Anonymous
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I had to put down my beloved 21-yr. old cat early this morning due to chronic kidney failure.
I am simply heartbroken now. I work Mon - Thu of this wk., I took the entire day today off to take my cat to the vet. I called my boss and told her that I feel really sad and that I just do not feel like coming in for my scheduled next two days Wed./Thu. I just want to sit around & cry, I don’t think I can fake happiness for ten hrs. with my 3 and 5 yr. old charges. I am also afraid I may have spurts of crying as well. My boss offered her very sincere condolences (she truly was!) however she stressed that she MUST go in to work both tmw and Thu. She apologized to me profusely and I do believe she feels just awful for me. However she told me today that unfortunately she has very important work meetings + events the next two days and simply has to be at work. My aunt told me that she gets two pet bereavement days by law. She also told me that it is my boss’s responsibility to have a Plan B backup childcare plan in place for circumstances as this. I am dreading going in tmw - I can barely take a shower right now. What would you do? Please please be kind. I feel so emotionally drained by the events of today.... |
Anonymous
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Just tell her you need to take the day off if that’s what you need to do.
There’s no such thing as legally-mandated pet bereavement days. Also, what’s Plan B? I’m sure if there was a whole stable of grandparents, SAHMs, neighbors, drop-in daycares, and occasional babysitters, she wouldn’t need a nanny. She’ll just have to cancel her meeting or Zoom in. But, you know, if you can’t stand, you can’t stand. |
Anonymous
| I’m so sorry for your cat. 21 is a long time together. Unfortunately you can’t make your boss pay you for unused days, but of course you can call out. She should have a back up plan or else she will need to make arrangements. For good will though, I’d compromise by taking one day for now. You can always have a low key movie day with the kids. However if you really think you will not be in shape to work, just be firm. You have to care for yourself to care for others, |
Anonymous
Thx PP for your response - No I do not expect to be paid, I just wanted the days off because I feel too upset to come into work. But it appears that I have no other option. I can work the next two days, it will be good for me to get back into a routine, be around others as well as get out of the house. I have the three days afterward to cry and lay around. |
Anonymous
| You’ll feel better working. |
Anonymous
| Bereavement days are for humans |
Anonymous
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I am very sorry about losing your cat OP. Losing a pet is profoundly hard.
Bereavement days for loss of a pet don't really exist though. I think you should go to work and do your best. I'm sorry. |
Anonymous
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My company offers pet bereavement days, but they are not part of state or Federal law.
They are not actually mandated but are just a benefit of working for my company. We get two paid days off for loss of a pet and twenty days of paid leave for death of a family member. |
Anonymous
| Oh no I’m so sorry! That is a really tough spot. I was in your shoes recently and honestly it helped to be at work. My boss knew I would not be 100%, not even 50 actually, so we had a movie day and didn’t do much. I would rather force myself through it than make my MB stressed and probably resentful, as much as it sucks! It’s almost the weekend, you can do it! And I’m so sorry for your loss.... |
Anonymous
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OP Here, Well I took everyone’s advice and went in to work.
My boss was so sad for me & was so sorry that she needed me so bad during such a rough time. But I didn’t want to create stress for her so I faked it until I made it. I had a few crying spells in the bathroom though. Getting out, speaking to others while also participating in my normal routine was beneficial. My heart hurts terribly, but I know if I am patient then the day will come when I no longer cry multiple times a day. |
Anonymous
| I’m sorry for the loss of your cat,OP. That was the right thing to do going in to work. Adult life can be hard sometimes. |
Anonymous
This. Yes, it's sad when a pet dies, yes we consider our pets members of our families. But bereavement days, in a work sense, are for immediate human family members - parents, spouse, children, siblings. |
Anonymous
That is not the norm. Even the federal government gives you zero paid days for bereavement. They simply “allow” you to be absent from work up to 13 days using you accrued leave, for immediate family member’s death. I am seriously curious which company does 2 days for pet and a whopping 20 days paid for family. Please share. |
Anonymous
Hope you feel better. Your boss will remember that you came in despite it being hard for you. Your boss will remember this and cut you slack in the future. At least I’d do that in her position (I’m a former MB). |
Anonymous
| A past company had maximum bereavement leave based on degree of separation: child, spouse or parent was 5; sibling, grandparent or grandchild was 3; any cousin, aunt/uncle, niece/nephew was one. Pets were not listed. |