mom’s boss acting really cruel about recent surgery.

[Anonymous]

I need input from MBs who have been in this position. My mom had surgery and needs 6 weeks to recover. She can’t work and doctor gave her a note. My mom is a full time housekeeper/nanny. She has worked for this woman for 14 years and raised her two children. Currently she helps with housekeeping and with the youngest who is 16.
Her MB is being a total jerk about her having to take 6 weeks because it was originally only supposed to be 2. This does not inconvenience her at all except in the fact that she will have to cook for her son and do her own laundry and wash her own dishes.
She is showing my mom that she doesn’t care about her health and cares more about herself.
Is it unreasonable for her to be acting this way? It was extremely unexpected and of course my mom didn’t plan this but they found some
Thing else during surgery which pushed it to 6 weeks. My mom raised this woman’s children and this is the thanks my mom gets?

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry, but this is the reality of the position. 16yo don’t need a nanny. The position is now housekeeper/driver, but if all she does is drive, cook and do laundry and dishes, it’s not even that.

In your mother’s position, I would have used the upcoming surgery as a way to gracefully exit on good terms, especially since you never know how it will go for recuperation. It’s better to start over with a new family after the surgery.

Since she’s only been with the family 14 years and the youngest is 16, she didn’t start until the youngest was 2. Extrapolating that, at least one older child was 3+, so someone else did much of the hard work of “raising” the toddlers and infants. I’m not saying that she didn’t work hard (I don’t work with infants under 6 months, and I work hard!), but saying that someone who supervises children before and after school “raises” them is a misnomer. Now, if she was working 8+ hours per day and they never saw their parents, then I’ll agree with you.

I hope you mom recovers well. At this point, if she quits while recuperating, she’s unlikely to get a decent bonus, even with the number of years she’s invested in the family. I also don’t think taking 6 weeks for surgery will endear her to them, so I’m not sure what her next step will be.

When does she think this position will end?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I need input from MBs who have been in this position. My mom had surgery and needs 6 weeks to recover. She can’t work and doctor gave her a note. My mom is a full time housekeeper/nanny. She has worked for this woman for 14 years and raised her two children. Currently she helps with housekeeping and with the youngest who is 16.
Her MB is being a total jerk about her having to take 6 weeks because it was originally only supposed to be 2. This does not inconvenience her at all except in the fact that she will have to cook for her son and do her own laundry and wash her own dishes.
She is showing my mom that she doesn’t care about her health and cares more about herself.
Is it unreasonable for her to be acting this way? It was extremely unexpected and of course my mom didn’t plan this but they found some
Thing else during surgery which pushed it to 6 weeks. My mom raised this woman’s children and this is the thanks my mom gets?

What do you mean by "being a jerk about"? If you mean, is unwilling to pay her for all 6 weeks that's very different than if she's actually being cruel. Is she live in? Because, if not, why is she even around your mom to experience cruelness?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I need input from MBs who have been in this position. My mom had surgery and needs 6 weeks to recover. She can’t work and doctor gave her a note. My mom is a full time housekeeper/nanny. She has worked for this woman for 14 years and raised her two children. Currently she helps with housekeeping and with the youngest who is 16.
Her MB is being a total jerk about her having to take 6 weeks because it was originally only supposed to be 2. This does not inconvenience her at all except in the fact that she will have to cook for her son and do her own laundry and wash her own dishes.
She is showing my mom that she doesn’t care about her health and cares more about herself.
Is it unreasonable for her to be acting this way? It was extremely unexpected and of course my mom didn’t plan this but they found some
Thing else during surgery which pushed it to 6 weeks. My mom raised this woman’s children and this is the thanks my mom gets?

What do you mean by "being a jerk about"? If you mean, is unwilling to pay her for all 6 weeks that's very different than if she's actually being cruel. Is she live in? Because, if not, why is she even around your mom to experience cruelness?

of course she's not paying her. my mom doesn't expect to get paid. she's mad that no one is going to be there to help for 6 weeks. she's saying that she should go back as soon as possible. my mom said she doesn't follow health advice unless its from her doctor. boss is mad because she wants her to go back when she said she was. she expressed how this isn't going to work for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I need input from MBs who have been in this position. My mom had surgery and needs 6 weeks to recover. She can’t work and doctor gave her a note. My mom is a full time housekeeper/nanny. She has worked for this woman for 14 years and raised her two children. Currently she helps with housekeeping and with the youngest who is 16.
Her MB is being a total jerk about her having to take 6 weeks because it was originally only supposed to be 2. This does not inconvenience her at all except in the fact that she will have to cook for her son and do her own laundry and wash her own dishes.
She is showing my mom that she doesn’t care about her health and cares more about herself.
Is it unreasonable for her to be acting this way? It was extremely unexpected and of course my mom didn’t plan this but they found some
Thing else during surgery which pushed it to 6 weeks. My mom raised this woman’s children and this is the thanks my mom gets?

What do you mean by "being a jerk about"? If you mean, is unwilling to pay her for all 6 weeks that's very different than if she's actually being cruel. Is she live in? Because, if not, why is she even around your mom to experience cruelness?

of course she's not paying her. my mom doesn't expect to get paid. she's mad that no one is going to be there to help for 6 weeks. she's saying that she should go back as soon as possible. my mom said she doesn't follow health advice unless its from her doctor. boss is mad because she wants her to go back when she said she was. she expressed how this isn't going to work for her.

And that's reasonable. If she can get along without your mom for 6 weeks, then she can continue to do so long term.

The youngest child is now 16. She's no longer a nanny. If she wants to nanny again, she needs to look for young kids. The longevity with this position should help her find another long term position.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry, OP. Your mother’s employer is a classic b*tch and a horrible human. Sadly there are lots of them in all fields.

I wish your mother a speedy recovery and a new job.

[Anonymous]

After FOURTEEN YEARS of service, your mother should absolutely be getting paid for her six weeks of recovery along with complete moral support. Your mother’s boss is reprehensible!

[Anonymous]

I’ve worked for my nanny family for 12 years. There is zero appreciation from my Boss. I had no idea how little she cared of thought of me as a human being, until pandemic. Now I see her and can’t ever unsee her.

[Anonymous]

She just doesn't want to have to clean her own house for six weeks. It sounds like your mom went in for a simple surgery and wound up needing a hysterectomy. Shit happens. Your mom should tell her boss "I am under doctor's orders to be on medical leave for the next six weeks. I will be back March 15th and look forward to seeing you then." AND THEN TURN OFF HER PHONE.

[Anonymous]

I am sorry that your Mother is going through this OP.

After fourteen years of service, it seems that your Mom is not being treated w/the respect that she definitely deserves here.
It isn’t her fault that her recovery will be longer than initially thought.

If I were your Mother, after her recovery I would simply find a new family & move on.

Due to the current circumstances - it is unlikely that she will get a decent reference from her current family which may hinder her success for finding another position.
Hopefully she can try to make peace w/her current family but w/things so fresh that might be tough now.

I wish your Mom only the best as she recovers both physically as well as professionally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, OP. Your mother’s employer is a classic b*tch and a horrible human. Sadly there are lots of them in all fields.

I wish your mother a speedy recovery and a new job.

This. I’m so sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I need input from MBs who have been in this position. My mom had surgery and needs 6 weeks to recover. She can’t work and doctor gave her a note. My mom is a full time housekeeper/nanny. She has worked for this woman for 14 years and raised her two children. Currently she helps with housekeeping and with the youngest who is 16.
Her MB is being a total jerk about her having to take 6 weeks because it was originally only supposed to be 2. This does not inconvenience her at all except in the fact that she will have to cook for her son and do her own laundry and wash her own dishes.
She is showing my mom that she doesn’t care about her health and cares more about herself.
Is it unreasonable for her to be acting this way? It was extremely unexpected and of course my mom didn’t plan this but they found some
Thing else during surgery which pushed it to 6 weeks. My mom raised this woman’s children and this is the thanks my mom gets?

What do you mean by "being a jerk about"? If you mean, is unwilling to pay her for all 6 weeks that's very different than if she's actually being cruel. Is she live in? Because, if not, why is she even around your mom to experience cruelness?

of course she's not paying her. my mom doesn't expect to get paid. she's mad that no one is going to be there to help for 6 weeks. she's saying that she should go back as soon as possible. my mom said she doesn't follow health advice unless its from her doctor. boss is mad because she wants her to go back when she said she was. she expressed how this isn't going to work for her.

"Of course" she's not paying her? Geez. I paid our nanny for several weeks when she developed a severe kidney infection and couldn't work. I would not have dreamed of asking her to come back before she and her doctor thought she was ready. But she had worked for us for several years and was like a member of our family. I think that MB sounds horrible.

[Anonymous]

She should be getting paid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I need input from MBs who have been in this position. My mom had surgery and needs 6 weeks to recover. She can’t work and doctor gave her a note. My mom is a full time housekeeper/nanny. She has worked for this woman for 14 years and raised her two children. Currently she helps with housekeeping and with the youngest who is 16.
Her MB is being a total jerk about her having to take 6 weeks because it was originally only supposed to be 2. This does not inconvenience her at all except in the fact that she will have to cook for her son and do her own laundry and wash her own dishes.
She is showing my mom that she doesn’t care about her health and cares more about herself.
Is it unreasonable for her to be acting this way? It was extremely unexpected and of course my mom didn’t plan this but they found some
Thing else during surgery which pushed it to 6 weeks. My mom raised this woman’s children and this is the thanks my mom gets?

What do you mean by "being a jerk about"? If you mean, is unwilling to pay her for all 6 weeks that's very different than if she's actually being cruel. Is she live in? Because, if not, why is she even around your mom to experience cruelness?

of course she's not paying her. my mom doesn't expect to get paid. she's mad that no one is going to be there to help for 6 weeks. she's saying that she should go back as soon as possible. my mom said she doesn't follow health advice unless its from her doctor. boss is mad because she wants her to go back when she said she was. she expressed how this isn't going to work for her.

"Of course" she's not paying her? Geez. I paid our nanny for several weeks when she developed a severe kidney infection and couldn't work. I would not have dreamed of asking her to come back before she and her doctor thought she was ready. But she had worked for us for several years and was like a member of our family. I think that MB sounds horrible.

OP here, thank you for this response. the first few poster are probably MBs who would also act so horrendous. anyway, she has always treated my mom this way even when she had another surgery 8 years ago. its truly disgusting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, OP. Your mother’s employer is a classic b*tch and a horrible human. Sadly there are lots of them in all fields.

I wish your mother a speedy recovery and a new job.

This. I’m so sorry.

+3. I’m sorry. Your mother absolutely deserves better. 14 years! God, what is wrong with some women?