How do I help AP that doesn't want to go home

[Anonymous]

So our current AP is finishing her contract with us soon and cannot extend. She is waiting on a change of status and does not want to go to her home country because of a lack of jobs.
She has been 'fine' but not great with our kids.. although frankly some of the issues are clearly pandemic induced.
She has offered to stay but I'm honestly quite ready to move on..

But I feel badly asking her to leave when she doesn't have any good options. What can I do? Help her find a live-in nanny position? Give a deadline so she can make plans?

I was thinking there are so many desperate families that she should be able to find something.

[Anonymous]

Former AP here.

If you don't need her any more, just tell her she has to go by a certain date and that if she wants to stay you can maybe help her find another family.

Her problem can't become yours.
Don't feel guilty about it

[Anonymous]

If she’s interested in nannying here, she needs to go home and apply for live-in positions with people who may move internationally, or she needs to apply for a visa to move here and be a live-in.

[Anonymous]

This is not yours to take on. Just empathize by saying "It's hard to leave a place you've grown to love. We'll miss you. Can we give you a ride to the airport?" and move on.

You should not be taking on the task of finding her employment or sorting out her visa issues or anything of the sort.

[Anonymous]

Thank you everyone for the responses. I don't know why I feel guilty. She would likely drop us in a heart beat for a better offer.

I will give her enough notice to find another solution but think it is best for everyone involved if we don't prolong it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So our current AP is finishing her contract with us soon and cannot extend. She is waiting on a change of status and does not want to go to her home country because of a lack of jobs.
She has been 'fine' but not great with our kids.. although frankly some of the issues are clearly pandemic induced.
She has offered to stay but I'm honestly quite ready to move on..

But I feel badly asking her to leave when she doesn't have any good options. What can I do? Help her find a live-in nanny position? Give a deadline so she can make plans?

I was thinking there are so many desperate families that she should be able to find something.

You are now getting an answer to the question so many naive but well intentioned people ask when they say - well why can't they move here legally!

She can ask to change her status to student or something else.

Or she can get married.

There is nothing that you can do.

[Anonymous]

Agree with above. Just tell her you wish you could help, but you are at the legal limits of her stay and cannot break the law.

[Anonymous]

There is nothing to feel guilty about. Tell her that you'll miss her when she returns home and she'll get a ride to the airport after her last day.

Discuss now what she's doing during her travel month or be surprised when she's not packed and expects a free ride doing nothing for those weeks.

Supporting au pairs to overstay illegally hurts the program. When it happens too much from a particular country, visas become difficult to obtain for new au pairs or agencies simply pull out of that country (e.g., Thailand). You do NOT need to help her find a new family to work illegally.

[Anonymous]

Thank you PP for the perspective. I was thinking only of supporting her but would hate to see it negatively affect the program. While it is definitely time for us to move along, I think it can work very well for both the AP's and families.