Nanny’s Husband - Positive COVID test
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Anonymous
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Our nanny share nanny of two years informed us yesterday that her husband tested positive for COVID - via text after she had left for the day. She told us he had been experiencing a cough for the past 5+ days. Idk what testing is like in all areas, but in ours you must make an appointment in advance and so we assume she had some advance notice of the test and didn’t disclose that either.
We are extremely upset that she did not disclose the cough to us on Day One. We don’t necessarily care that he got it because we knew he was working and we just know there’s no way to prevent getting it 100% - we are mad that she kept this from us and there are now major trust issues. I’m going through IVF and the other mom is pregnant and we can’t take any risks and she knew this. The other dad suffers from asthma. We talked thoroughly through risks, safety and everything and she said she understood. We told her she had to get a COVID test ASAP and she said okay but we haven’t heard anything from her, which is also alarming at this point. All family members of the nanny share families are getting tested today. I’m just wondering what others would do in this situation. Thanks in advance! |
Anonymous
You KNOW that in your area you need an appointment in advance to get a test, you just told her YESTERDAY that you want to get a test, and now you're ALARMED that she hasn't been able to get back to you with results yet? You are completely irrational. |
Anonymous
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I think you need to ask her when her husband made the test appointment and, most importantly, if SHE knew he’d made the appointment. It’s entirely possible she wasn’t aware he’d decided to get tested.
If she did know, then it’s entirely appropriate to express that you are disappointed she didn’t disclose that information. If she didn’t know, I’m not sure there is much you can say except for reiterating that you need her to disclose symptoms she and her household show ASAP in the future. The above is predicated on both families wanting to have the nanny return to work. Have you and the other parents discussed that? Do you feel that there is no way to repair the trust issues? If so, then I think letting her go is better than keeping her and having distrust grow. With both families adding/hoping to add a second child, the share is heading toward a natural end, so it might be time to review childcare choices regardless. Good luck making a difficult decision. |
Anonymous
| It's not a good excuse but maybe she was afraid she'd lose her job. |
Anonymous
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Are you confused? Did you read my post? And why do you sound mad at me?
She didn’t tell us any of this until yesterday and I’m not a mind reader.
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Anonymous
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Does your nanny have guaranteed sick day pay? And did you have a full disclosure of any illness agreement prior? Both of these things would have helped.
That said, I would find another nanny and not participate in a share for awhile. Get tested and get your child tested at the first sign of illness - even mild symptoms. And, for God’s sake, quarantine yourself and your family. |
Anonymous
| OP no shame no judgment but if she had come to you with the information right away would you and the other family have been willing to continue to pay her if she couldn't work. I totally understand why you are upset but did you have any discussions with her in March? Or subsequently in terms of what the plans were in terms of social distancing, closed loop, what would happen if she feels ill, masks, etc.? |
Anonymous
| I would not have her back until he is better and everyone in their home has negative tests or fire her for lying. |
Anonymous
We absolutely did. There should have been no misunderstanding on where we stood with things. The other mom is pregnant and they didn’t even come for two months and continued to pay her the full rate. If she had told us her husband had a cough this would 10000% be a non-issue and we would pay her regardless. It’s the fact that she was either ignorant or deliberate and didn’t disclose. We pay and treat our nanny VERY well so this is somewhat of a slap in the face to us considering how much she makes and how we treat her like royalty practically. We have always considered her family and have been more than generous. |
Anonymous
We’ve thought of that but now we’re concerned about trust and if she’ll continue to be safe. Fortunately, our entire family and our entire nanny share family all tested negative today. |
Anonymous
| You are probably so relieved that you all tested negative but honestly IMHO this was a poor judgment to keep nanny coming. I know lots of people who quit shares or laid off their nannies to avoid exactly what happened to you. Nanny would get unemployment and come back later. |
Anonymous
| OP, just how much do you pay your nanny? You said VERY WELL - what does that mean? And what metro area do you live in? |
Anonymous
| OP, you don’t have to justify your entire sick day policy or nanny’s pay to everyone on DCUM. Your nanny lied, plain and simple, and potentially endangered your family in doing so. You have every right to fire her. |
Anonymous
Ha. Means nothing. What is the incubation period because you could all test positive next week. As for the nanny, maybe she didn't know her DH decided to get tested. I have a dry cough all the time and it is caused by an autoimmune disease. You don't know whether he might have an autoimmune disease. Frankly, you sound like a major PITA. |
Anonymous
Thank you! I appreciate your compliment 
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