Nanny’s Husband - Positive COVID test

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you confused? Did you read my post? And why do you sound mad at me?

She didn’t tell us any of this until yesterday and I’m not a mind reader.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our nanny share nanny of two years informed us yesterday that her husband tested positive for COVID - via text after she had left for the day. She told us he had been experiencing a cough for the past 5+ days. Idk what testing is like in all areas, but in ours you must make an appointment in advance and so we assume she had some advance notice of the test and didn’t disclose that either.

We are extremely upset that she did not disclose the cough to us on Day One. We don’t necessarily care that he got it because we knew he was working and we just know there’s no way to prevent getting it 100% - we are mad that she kept this from us and there are now major trust issues. I’m going through IVF and the other mom is pregnant and we can’t take any risks and she knew this. The other dad suffers from asthma. We talked thoroughly through risks, safety and everything and she said she understood.

We told her she had to get a COVID test ASAP and she said okay but we haven’t heard anything from her, which is also alarming at this point. All family members of the nanny share families are getting tested today.

I’m just wondering what others would do in this situation. Thanks in advance!

You KNOW that in your area you need an appointment in advance to get a test, you just told her YESTERDAY that you want to get a test, and now you're ALARMED that she hasn't been able to get back to you with results yet?
You are completely irrational.

Test results don’t come back immediately. A cough could be anything, so why would she jeopardize her job over the start of his cough? As it got worse, yes, she should have disclosed. Regardless, you’re better off terminating and having her get unemployment now.

[Anonymous]

Look, it’s serious but you aren’t going to get any less (disclosing on day 1) from a nanny.

After 8 years I still have PTS from all the times nanny didn’t treat our things like she would treat her things. Her needs come first before yours and that’s just the way it is in the world.

You will find a lot of nannies on here taking her side.

I found a good Montessori as soon as my kids and my finances could handle it.

As long as you have a nanny, you really shouldn’t expect anything else. I’m sorry you had this happen to you. If you want to be totally safe, you have to do everything yourself and not have people hired for money come into your house.

[Anonymous]

*PTSD*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look, it’s serious but you aren’t going to get any less (disclosing on day 1) from a nanny.

After 8 years I still have PTS from all the times nanny didn’t treat our things like she would treat her things. Her needs come first before yours and that’s just the way it is in the world.

You will find a lot of nannies on here taking her side.

I found a good Montessori as soon as my kids and my finances could handle it.

As long as you have a nanny, you really shouldn’t expect anything else. I’m sorry you had this happen to you. If you want to be totally safe, you have to do everything yourself and not have people hired for money come into your house.

I think you had the PTSD before the nanny. Do you realize how crazy you sound?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look, it’s serious but you aren’t going to get any less (disclosing on day 1) from a nanny.

After 8 years I still have PTS from all the times nanny didn’t treat our things like she would treat her things. Her needs come first before yours and that’s just the way it is in the world.

You will find a lot of nannies on here taking her side.

I found a good Montessori as soon as my kids and my finances could handle it.

As long as you have a nanny, you really shouldn’t expect anything else. I’m sorry you had this happen to you. If you want to be totally safe, you have to do everything yourself and not have people hired for money come into your house.

I think you had the PTSD before the nanny. Do you realize how crazy you sound?

+1. Yes, a very unwell parent rambling about her “things”! No mention of her child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look, it’s serious but you aren’t going to get any less (disclosing on day 1) from a nanny.

After 8 years I still have PTS from all the times nanny didn’t treat our things like she would treat her things. Her needs come first before yours and that’s just the way it is in the world.

You will find a lot of nannies on here taking her side.

I found a good Montessori as soon as my kids and my finances could handle it.

As long as you have a nanny, you really shouldn’t expect anything else. I’m sorry you had this happen to you. If you want to be totally safe, you have to do everything yourself and not have people hired for money come into your house.

Seek immediate help. You are nuts!

[Anonymous]

Look OP (not nut poster above) but you said the other family was high risk for some reason and decided to drop out in May I presume. You didn't. At that point you chose to take on a different risk level. Frankly I'm as conscientious as anybody I don't know if I would have called you immediately if my husband woke up with a cough. However she has informed you that her husband was tested and tested positive. I'm not exactly sure what you are upset about here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look OP (not nut poster above) but you said the other family was high risk for some reason and decided to drop out in May I presume. You didn't. At that point you chose to take on a different risk level. Frankly I'm as conscientious as anybody I don't know if I would have called you immediately if my husband woke up with a cough. However she has informed you that her husband was tested and tested positive. I'm not exactly sure what you are upset about here.

If you or one of the kids had a cough would you have told the nanny immediately before being tested and informed her not to come?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you don’t have to justify your entire sick day policy or nanny’s pay to everyone on DCUM. Your nanny lied, plain and simple, and potentially endangered your family in doing so. You have every right to fire her.

This!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you don’t have to justify your entire sick day policy or nanny’s pay to everyone on DCUM. Your nanny lied, plain and simple, and potentially endangered your family in doing so. You have every right to fire her.

This!

If the nanny lied how does OP know the nanny's husband tested positive?

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on what standard you set when you had your earlier convos about this. At the start of all this (Feb and first week or two of March), before we shifted to total lock down, my nanny was still working one weekend afternoon one of her former families. I asked her to tell us if she learned that anyone in that family had any symptoms of anything at all, and let her know that, if so, I would probably ask her to stay home with pay for a week or so. If you asked your nanny to let you know if her husband had any symptoms and then she didn’t, I would either have a super serious conversation to clarify expectations or, if that would not be enough to fix the trust issues, let her go for not abiding by what you asked of her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP no shame no judgment but if she had come to you with the information right away would you and the other family have been willing to continue to pay her if she couldn't work. I totally understand why you are upset but did you have any discussions with her in March? Or subsequently in terms of what the plans were in terms of social distancing, closed loop, what would happen if she feels ill, masks, etc.?

We absolutely did. There should have been no misunderstanding on where we stood with things. The other mom is pregnant and they didn’t even come for two months and continued to pay her the full rate. If she had told us her husband had a cough this would 10000% be a non-issue and we would pay her regardless. It’s the fact that she was either ignorant or deliberate and didn’t disclose.

We pay and treat our nanny VERY well so this is somewhat of a slap in the face to us considering how much she makes and how we treat her like royalty practically. We have always considered her family and have been more than generous.

Something about the tone of all this makes me not like you. Pay her a fair wage, but don’t blather on about “treating her like royalty”. I wonder what she would say about all this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP no shame no judgment but if she had come to you with the information right away would you and the other family have been willing to continue to pay her if she couldn't work. I totally understand why you are upset but did you have any discussions with her in March? Or subsequently in terms of what the plans were in terms of social distancing, closed loop, what would happen if she feels ill, masks, etc.?

We absolutely did. There should have been no misunderstanding on where we stood with things. The other mom is pregnant and they didn’t even come for two months and continued to pay her the full rate. If she had told us her husband had a cough this would 10000% be a non-issue and we would pay her regardless. It’s the fact that she was either ignorant or deliberate and didn’t disclose.

We pay and treat our nanny VERY well so this is somewhat of a slap in the face to us considering how much she makes and how we treat her like royalty practically. We have always considered her family and have been more than generous.

Do you curtsy to her? Does she do any kind of cleaning or cooking for you or any member of your family? If you don't curtsy or she performs work for you then you don't treat her like royalty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our nanny share nanny of two years informed us yesterday that her husband tested positive for COVID - via text after she had left for the day. She told us he had been experiencing a cough for the past 5+ days. Idk what testing is like in all areas, but in ours you must make an appointment in advance and so we assume she had some advance notice of the test and didn’t disclose that either.

We are extremely upset that she did not disclose the cough to us on Day One. We don’t necessarily care that he got it because we knew he was working and we just know there’s no way to prevent getting it 100% - we are mad that she kept this from us and there are now major trust issues. I’m going through IVF and the other mom is pregnant and we can’t take any risks and she knew this. The other dad suffers from asthma. We talked thoroughly through risks, safety and everything and she said she understood.

We told her she had to get a COVID test ASAP and she said okay but we haven’t heard anything from her, which is also alarming at this point. All family members of the nanny share families are getting tested today.

I’m just wondering what others would do in this situation. Thanks in advance!

You pay her to stay home for 2 weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our nanny share nanny of two years informed us yesterday that her husband tested positive for COVID - via text after she had left for the day. She told us he had been experiencing a cough for the past 5+ days. Idk what testing is like in all areas, but in ours you must make an appointment in advance and so we assume she had some advance notice of the test and didn’t disclose that either.

We are extremely upset that she did not disclose the cough to us on Day One. We don’t necessarily care that he got it because we knew he was working and we just know there’s no way to prevent getting it 100% - we are mad that she kept this from us and there are now major trust issues. I’m going through IVF and the other mom is pregnant and we can’t take any risks and she knew this. The other dad suffers from asthma. We talked thoroughly through risks, safety and everything and she said she understood.

We told her she had to get a COVID test ASAP and she said okay but we haven’t heard anything from her, which is also alarming at this point. All family members of the nanny share families are getting tested today.

I’m just wondering what others would do in this situation. Thanks in advance!

You pay her to stay home for 2 weeks.

I am an MB and agree that this is the best solution. She should retest before coming back since there might not have been enough virus in her body for the test to detect.