Our nanny found out she has cancer
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Anonymous
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Our nanny of almost 5 years was just told she has cancer. She still needs to get a slew of tests to understand what stage and the overall prognosis. I know more than ever she is going to need time off and an income. I want to be there for her as she has been there for us. However, my husband works in education and will stop working soon for the summer. I will keep telecommuting through the end of the year. It’s not ideal to not have her there and him too. There’s just not enough for the two of them to be doing. Should I just keep having her come so she can maintain an income during this hard time? We don’t have lots of extra money so being able to save that money would be really helpful but we love her so much, I don’t want to add stress to her plate. Right now we are all home and she will help with laundry while the kids are doing their schoolwork. I’m just so torn.
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Anonymous
| Fundamentally you are suggesting you let her go because she has cancer |
Anonymous
| Absolutely not. I’m actually considering keeping her FOR that reason. Even though my husband is not working for the next three months. Did you even read my post? |
Anonymous
| But doesn’t your husband always have the summer off? What have you done in the past five years? |
Anonymous
| No he just changed jobs he’s never had the summer off. It’s the first time. |
Anonymous
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What didn’t you do every previous summer?
Yes, you should keep your nanny. It would be morally wrong to fire her at this point. Nannies are definitely in high demand right now but not nannies going through cancer treatment. |
Anonymous
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Honestly, OP, there is nothing to be torn about. You keep your nanny. It’s the only right thing to do under the circumstances.
I’m curious though - why is this just coming up now? Didn’t you know before now that your husband would have the summer off? Why does her cancer diagnosis come into play? |
Anonymous
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What are you “torn” about?! You know it’s wrong to fire any employee on such short notice but most especially when the employee has cancer!
Holy hell, OP! |
Anonymous
| If she didn't have cancer what was the original plan? fire her and get a new nanny after the summer? Honest question. |
Anonymous
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If you no longer need your nanny in September, and so you were going to transition away from her anyway, then you should tell her that now, have her work over the summer (I am sure you have a 30 or 60 day notice clause in your contract) and then be done in September. If you still need a nanny in the fall, you will never be able to find a nanny who wants to miss out on three months of pay. So you would let them go, save money for two months, and theN start trying to find a new nanny. That is exhausting. So if you need a nanny in the fall when Husband goes to work, then you would keep paying nanny and have her come. Having the opportunity for her to take kid out for walk while you work and husband mows lawn, or does laundry, or while you prep lunch and she plays in the backyard so you and kid can eat together sounds amazing. I for sure could find enough kid stuff for a nanny to do while not working over the summer. Nanny could also prep educational materials (counters, letter cards, word walls) depending on how old your kid is. Again, can’t imagine too many people being able to care for kids and house as being a downside.
Your husband being off works well because he can cover when she needs to go to doctor appointments (or interviews if you are letting her go). It means you don’t have to scramble for care then. I am also sure you have vacation in your contract- most often one week of your choosing and one of her choosing. So you would need to cover her week(s) anyway - So husband being off saves you there too. So the cancer does not play into it for me. Either you need a nanny next year and you keep this one or you let her go and save small money to then hire someone new in the fall. The only thing that might happen is she might not want to be around kids when immunosuppressed, so at some point you would need to talk about her long term plan. |
Anonymous
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Also I know plenty of people who kept their nanny once elementary school started so nanny could do teacher work days, early release days, sick but not sick days (like last day of an illness where they have not been fever free for 24 hours but have been for 21 hours so they stay home that extra not really sick day). They have nanny take kids to early extracurricular activities that dual working parents can’t get to (like a 3:15 art class instead of a 6pm class). Some have even shifted nanny hours - one parent drops off at school and then nanny starts at like 10 and does 10-6 with no overtime and easier burden on parent commutes / work commitments.
Since we have no idea if schools are opening and if they will stay open all year, having a nanny you trust for this uncertain year would be awesome. If we had one, I would not let her go right now - even with K on the horizon- because working from home with kids sucks. |
Anonymous
| I think you need to see how it goes and what she wants to do. If you are paying into unemployment and she's having a lot of health issues, you could mutually agree to let her go and rehire her when she is ready and that way she can get unemployment. |
Anonymous
For five years she has taken care of your most precious possession and you are asking if you should let her go because she has cancer? What the hell is wrong with you! ,You rival Trump for lack of empathy. If necessary, I would get a loan to make sure she doesn't have the stress of money worries |
Anonymous
| If I had cancer I would quit . Are you sure she wants to continue working? |
Anonymous
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Wow. It's as if nobody read your entire post, OP.
I would say for now, WAIT. She has to see what kind of cancer she has. Quite frankly, as an employee she shouldn't have told you until she knew what her treatment plan would be so she'd know what kind of time off she'd need. You can say you're friends all you want, but this is still an employer/employee relationship. She may be dying in three months, or she may need surgery and two weeks of recovery and then be fine. There are all different types of cancer and treatment plans. If you keep her, perhaps your husband can pimp himself out as a tutor. Then he'd be working and bringing in money. |