Keeping an au pair who we’re not likely to need?
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Anonymous
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Our au pair is great, but I’m home now, and don’t see that changing before the end of her year. I don’t want to give her the feeling that we’re sending her away. She hasn’t done anything wrong and she’s really helpful, even though we don’t *need* the help. I feel like things would be slightly less stressful and slightly less expensive with one fewer person around.
What would you do? |
Anonymous
| We do not need our current ap either, but we are keeping her anyway. We only have 3 months left though |
Anonymous
| I don’t need mine either but we are keeping her. She has an easy gig right now. |
Anonymous
| I would say if you have less than 3-4 months left and she is great, just keep her, but if more I would probably rematch. |
Anonymous
OP here. Sounds like most people are sticking with it. Anyone decide to give it up? We have 5.5 months left. |
Anonymous
Yes, I gave up early April. She had until July 30th. There is a very high demand for in country AuPair right now. I also know she has a lot of families she is interviewing with for her extension year. I've gotten the reference calls. She was not a great AuPair so it was a tremendous relief to send her off. I'm very very happy to only be managing food for immediate family. |
Anonymous
Agree with PP, there is a lot of demand for in-country APs right now, if you don't need her let her go to another family 
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Anonymous
We gave it up. Ours had about 4 months left with us but planned to extend (not necessarily with us). We left the program because we’d have a parent home for most of those 4 months, had no interest in trying to gamble on whether we’d be able to get a new au pair, and just didn’t want to deal with another person around right now while we didn’t need her. She wasn’t adding a ton of value for the space and resources (both physical and mental) necessary to host her. |
Anonymous
| If you honestly don’t care whether you keep her, why not lay all the cards on the table for her and let her choose? |
Anonymous
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Our au pair had extended with us, and we asked her in March to rematch with another family even though she had only four months left during her extension term. We loved her, but my husband lost his job in the covid crisis, and it did not make sense to keep her given our changed financial situation -- particularly since we have been paying the $14 D.C. minimum wage since the First Circuit decision came down last year. We felt really bad doing it, but in addition to the financial concerns, it was stressful having another person in the house at a time when we're trying to minimize trips to the grocery store. And while our au pair was really good about social distancing, we were nervous about what would happen after a few months when she (like the rest of us) started to go stir crazy in the house isolated from her friends.
As someone else noted, there are families out there desperate for child care, and she rematched within a day. |
Anonymous
This. We let ours go too. We pretty much cut bait when Virginia went on the long quarantine. I knew I did not want to be stuck in our home with another person that was not related to us. |
Anonymous
| If it’ll make your life LESS stressful to not have them... then have them leave. You don’t owe any favors, so what’s best for you |
Anonymous
NP. I disagree. I think you do owe APs favors when you ask them to come and spend a year with your family. That being said, I think your AP will be able to rematch in no time. I would love to have her, since our AP is leaving... 
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Anonymous
NP, why is your AP leaving? I guess she decided this was not working for her and bailed out? if she can do that, so can the family. |
Anonymous
Sorry, by I don't lower my standards to the level of a 18yo. |