Nanny not social distancing

[Anonymous]

Our nanny hasn't been to our house in two weeks per our request. We told her that, of course, we would be pay her for that time. It was a difficult decision for us to make, but we wanted to do the right thing to try and flatten the curve.

My family is taking this very seriously and have been doing pretty extreme social distancing these two weeks. We have stayed at home and only gone outside on a handful of walks (we didn't see anyone on the walks) or hung out on our patio. We did an online grocery order last week and I already have another groceries delivery scheduled for mid-next week so it's plausible that we really may not have to be around anyone for a few more weeks.

Since childcare is considered essential, my husband and I discussed asking our nanny to start working again next week, but only if she had been also social distancing for the past two weeks. We understood the need for grocery store runs, but past that we were hoping she was laying low like us. Turns out she hasn't (definitely less than us, but also less than the recommended guidelines too). She also mentioned that her husband isn't as concerned about what's been going on in the world. Unfortunately for us, this means we don't feel comfortable having her start up again regardless of childcare being deemed an essential service and regardless of how much we need the help. I told her what we are and aren't comfortable with, but of course she's an adult and I can't tell her what to do in her spare time (even though all the medical experts are saying it!!).

Like so many other families, we've been struggling working from home and trying to care for our child. While I had felt very strongly about continuing to pay her since we've been with her for nearly a year, we like her, and we hope to start back up with her once this has all passed, I can't help but feel angry that her behavior and unwillingness to follow nationwide recommendations is making it so that she's forcing our decision (not to mention the larger anger that she's not helping the pandemic). Our contract doesn't have anything that remotely covers a situation like this so do I just suck it up and keep paying indefinitely for as long as our jobs are stable?

[Anonymous]

Your nanny is exhibiting very poor judgement. This is not someone I would trust with my children’s lives “when all this is over”.

[Anonymous]

It a lack of judgement on the nanny’s part. It would be very concerning to me. How can you really trust her?

[Anonymous]

OP here. I agree with both previous posters. Yes, of course. This is a huge lack of judgement and it makes me want to shake her and ask her what she's thinking (for herself, for society, etc.). But I'm also trying to remind myself that she has been a very good child care provider in the year she has been with us and I don't think that can just be totally dismissed.

All that being said, does anyone actually have a suggestion? Or do the two answers that only comment on her lack of judgement -- which I agree with -- mean that you would just stop paying her outright?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I agree with both previous posters. Yes, of course. This is a huge lack of judgement and it makes me want to shake her and ask her what she's thinking (for herself, for society, etc.). But I'm also trying to remind myself that she has been a very good child care provider in the year she has been with us and I don't think that can just be totally dismissed.

All that being said, does anyone actually have a suggestion? Or do the two answers that only comment on her lack of judgement -- which I agree with -- mean that you would just stop paying her outright?

PP here. Personally I would fire her. However if you truly think she’s a good nanny you can explain your fears and ask her to file for unemployment until this is over. Explain yourself clearly. Give her a few weeks severance to tide her over until unemployment kicks in.

[Anonymous]

I'd put up an ad NOW for someone else to start immediately who HAS been social distancing. Then fire your nanny and work with the other person.

[Anonymous]

I wouldnt fire her. There is no point trying to find someone new who may lie to you anyway about social distancing. At least she is being honest with you.
I would probably have her come but make her wash her hands as soon as she walks in the door.

I don't have a Nanny but I have a 7yo and we are both essential. I am trusting that the sitters and friends we are using for childcare are social distancing but I dont know that for a fact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd put up an ad NOW for someone else to start immediately who HAS been social distancing. Then fire your nanny and work with the other person.

How do you trust a completely new person?

[Anonymous]

It was thoughtless of her. I think you should give her a warning and say you want to suspend employment while you both think about next course of action.

[Anonymous]

I’d fire her.

I’m a nanny and I think it shows poor judgment and a lack of care for those around her.

And I’d quit without notice for any family they’d not practicing social isolation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d fire her.

I’m a nanny and I think it shows poor judgment and a lack of care for those around her.

And I’d quit without notice for any family they’d not practicing social isolation.

Same here.

[Anonymous]

Nanny and nurse here. What exactly is she doing that’s putting your family at risk? Just because the bf isn’t that concerned, everybody is entitled to their own opinion. Unless she’s going to the gym and shopping at a mall, Getting her hair and nails done, I don’t see how this is an issue. Btw most stores business have been closed for almost two weeks... if she’s not going to these places, it doesn’t matter what the bf thinks. Omg what is wrong with people

[Anonymous]

This is the issue I see with live out nannies: Yes, you may need them to come to do your jobs if you are WFH, and they may need the $$. But how do you know for sure that she is social distancing to the extent that your family won't be at risk. It seems like your circle is widened to hers. e.g. Is her husband working? If not, did he lose his job and will he start working at a riskier one? Considerations like that which would never have been your business before suddenly have the ability to expose your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny and nurse here. What exactly is she doing that’s putting your family at risk? Just because the bf isn’t that concerned, everybody is entitled to their own opinion. Unless she’s going to the gym and shopping at a mall, Getting her hair and nails done, I don’t see how this is an issue. Btw most stores business have been closed for almost two weeks... if she’s not going to these places, it doesn’t matter what the bf thinks. Omg what is wrong with people

They are morons. All hair salons, manicurists, and 99% of stores have been closed for the past two weeks. Apparently, Oo either cannot read or comprehend what she reads.