Paying extra while the kids are at home?

[Anonymous]

I asked on another thread but no one responded so I figured that I would start a new thread .

How much of a weekly bonus are you guys giving your au pair while the kids are at home?

We already pay a little higher than the stipend, but I was thinking of adding $50 more per week. Her hours have not changed much since she my husband and I are both WFH, but not instead of a morning/afternoon split schedule, she is working 51/2 hours straight with the kids (about 10:30-4).

Still, it’s a lot, and we are extremely grateful to have her here to help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I asked on another thread but no one responded so I figured that I would start a new thread .

How much of a weekly bonus are you guys giving your au pair while the kids are at home?

We already pay a little higher than the stipend, but I was thinking of adding $50 more per week. Her hours have not changed much since she my husband and I are both WFH, but not instead of a morning/afternoon split schedule, she is working 51/2 hours straight with the kids (about 10:30-4).

Still, it’s a lot, and we are extremely grateful to have her here to help.

Is she working weekends AT ALL?

I'd pay $10/hr.

We just let our AP go (shes a disaster), but if we had a good AP, I would pay that.

[Anonymous]

No because we are in MA and are already paying more than stipend and our AP is working fewer hours now (no driving needed), so only 3-4 hours/day at most.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I asked on another thread but no one responded so I figured that I would start a new thread .

How much of a weekly bonus are you guys giving your au pair while the kids are at home?

We already pay a little higher than the stipend, but I was thinking of adding $50 more per week. Her hours have not changed much since she my husband and I are both WFH, but not instead of a morning/afternoon split schedule, she is working 51/2 hours straight with the kids (about 10:30-4).

Still, it’s a lot, and we are extremely grateful to have her here to help.

Is she working weekends AT ALL?

I'd pay $10/hr.

We just let our AP go (shes a disaster), but if we had a good AP, I would pay that.

No, she is not working weekends. With the hours that she is working and the extra bonus on top of the additional stipend that she gets, it comes out to about $10, that doesn’t include her special food, the Gym membership, etc.

My kids really enjoy her, so I’m happy to have another adult to help keep them entertained while we are taking conference calls (so my point about the gym, her grocery lists etc are not a complaint, just a view in to the package that we offer).

[Anonymous]

We are paying more because she has more kids than she did. Same number of hours but now she is expected to deal with hone schooling. We were going to pay an extra $100 a week. She works 30 hrs a week.

[Anonymous]

That is more than enough given she's working a few hours. If you were asking her to work more than 40, pay more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No because we are in MA and are already paying more than stipend and our AP is working fewer hours now (no driving needed), so only 3-4 hours/day at most.

I wrote this earlier but have changed my mind the more I’ve thought about it. I will do a $50 hazard pay bonus each week.

[Anonymous]

I'd consider how much you're saving in terms of commute, coffees out, lunches out, paying for activities for the au pair and kids.

Don't pay her that full amount, but something extra. It can be a challenge working with kids while their parents are in the house.

[Anonymous]

We doubled the stipend during this event, because we are both are considered “essential” & working crazy long hours in response to the outbreak. And she’s gone from working 20-25 hour weeks to 40-45. And it’s not like the kids (4 & 9) are being incredibly well behaved. They are particularly challenging as we are all so stressed out. If she decides to go home (I mean it’s not like she’s getting a fun cultural experience here in the US, at the moment either), we are so screwed. One of us would have to quit our jobs.

[Anonymous]

We are paying the same. Ours mostly was a driver for older kids and can’t go home due to the outbreak in her home country. Sounds like we won’t need a driver for months but we are keeping her because her home is worse. So for us, we feel like the 200 a week is enough since she isn’t doing much.

[Anonymous]

Our AP has always worked 45 hours but we only have 1 child. DH and I still working full time but now from home. AP and DS are outside much of the time riding bikes and walking the dog.

[Anonymous]

^^

So no change in pay or hours.

[Anonymous]

we are also thinking of doubling or close to it. We went from 30 hours a week mostly pick up and caring for one child to caring for three a full 45 and managing online learning, managing lunch and sometime dinner etc. DH and I are working from home and being asked to put in 13-14 hour days now. So it's a high stress situation and I know she is feeling it. also ours is from China and actually things have totally normalized for them at home now so she is tempted to go home. And apparently a lot of au pairs are rematching because other families aren't able to get anyone so they are offering big premiums for au pairs to switch.

Our LCC had some other good suggestions--make sure you are offering online learning, the agencies sent out info about it apparently, but I missed it. And maybe offer an extra week of vacation in the future, assuming things normalize, au pairs are upset they are missing out on chances to travel and see things.

good luck, everyone!

[Anonymous]

Our au pair usually works 45 hours but now she is working about 10 hours less because we both work from
Home. She now starts late and finishes early but we are doing the home schooling. She really just play with them. Beside being bored she has it « easier ». She was telling me how most of her friends au pairs were worried of moving from split shifts with 25-30 hours to full time to 40-45 hours.

I don’t plan to increase her weekly stipend but her birthday is coming up soon and I am planning to give her a bigger bonus. I like to give her bonus from time to time. I don’t want to make it a weekly increase and setup the wrong expectation.

[Anonymous]

I am an AP and my hf had already given me a raise before Corona so my pay hasn't changed since (I am paid $300 for 45h/week), but them giving me a raise made a massive difference (it didn't change the way I work) as it made me feel very appreciated and valued.

What's been helping during Corona and has made me not consider going home for a minute though is that, my host family understands that Corona isn't fun for anyone, least of all me. My hours haven't changed but my work conditions have. I know have both kids at home (and have had them for 3 weeks as the older one was sick before the lockdown) as well as the parents, I can't do half the things I would normally do with them and I can't even have a proper break outside my working hours.
I am lucky in the sense that the dad was already on paternity leave before this whole ordeal so he currently doesn't have to work, but while many families would have just handed me both kids over and taken this time to hide/relax during my working hours, the dad has been incredibly hand-on with the kids, especially the older one which mean the work load is more similar to what I normally would have which makes a MASSIVE difference. He wanted the older one to still follow her class schedule so he turned himself into a teacher and spends most of the day coming up with activities/classes for her and the mom, who does have to work, make sure she overall works less hour and now finishes around 3.30pm vs her normal 6pm schedule. They have made some adaptation to their rules so that having both kids at home is easier for us all, and as a result, this whole pandemy has brought us even closer. The extra time they spend with their kids allow me to cook for the whole family so they don't have to worry about it at the end of the day, and mean that despite already spending way more time with them than I normally would, I happily volunteer to stay beyond my scheduled hours so they can sneak in a quick nap or a car ride together away from the kids.

More than any kind of increase in salary what's been important to me is how they have also stepped up to the plate during this pandemy and how they made it so we all work as a team and less like I am picking up the slacks. We are all supporting each other and I came from dreading a lockdown to actually quite enjoying our set up (obviously still dreaming of those post-Covid-19 days!).

I am sure your AP would enjoy any increase in salary, I also think what will make a difference to her is acknowledging that this is a hard time for her and not really what she initially signed up for by making accommodation to her schedule/workload where it can be made, by giving her extra breaks here or there, being more lax about the TV/video games rules, buying activities/board games they can try and play together etc...


Even if an AP is used to work 45hours, it's very different working 45hours and then being able to unwind outdoors with friends and attending events vs having to try and unwind and disconnect while hearing the toddler crying or the 8yo having a tantrum and host parents screaming outside your bedroom door. It's also very different being locked in with a family 24/7 and being expected to perform/put on a good front when also being worried sick about your own family.

APs who chose to stay are making a big sacrifice. I am French and my country has recently closed its borders (the embassy has communicated with us that if we wanted to go home it should be within the next couple of days as after this, there would be no guarantee that there would be any planes back to France), I have made the decision to stay but I also know it means that if any of my family members gets Covid and worse, die from it, I have ultimately forfeited the right to see them one last time or say goodbye to them. I haven't seen my mother in over a year and half and she has just had a baby. I have made that decision because I have an AMAZING host family who has been so supportive of me, that they are also family to me and I couldn't imagine leaving them when they most need me. But ultimately it's still a sacrifice and definitely not what I had signed up for. APs who stay are picking to stay and support your family above theirs so anything you can do to do their life a little easier, definitely do it.

You seem like a great host family, OP and I am sure your AP is already appreciative of what you do for her, and the fact that you are trying to find ways to show her your appreciation on here shows that you care and I am sure this pandemy will, like for my hf and I, be something that brings you together instead of tearing you apart.