Should we just starting looking for another nanny or keep trying with her ?
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Anonymous
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Hello! We just employed out first nanny, as I'm starting graduate school and currently studying for the GRE/ volunteering and doing network related stuff for my field of interest. We have a nanny who has years of experience with kids, and while she is great with our DD, I have noticed that sometimes she's a big lack luster depending on the job tasks. My husband works crazy hours and she knows this. When we hired her we went through an agency, we pay her top dollar and we want to have a team approach.
What I have noticed though she that she doesn't think outside the box in terms of her job. When DD naps, and on average naps 2-3 plus hours, the nanny will sit all day and not do any child related things, unless I ask. In her contract she is only required to take care of DD things, and she knows this. Yet, stuff like disinfecting toys, or throwing away broken toys, or vaccumming DD's playroom is not something she will do. Part of her job is to load and unload dishwasher, and she will put dishes in dishwasher with crumbs. It seems to me that when it comes to the fun stuff, she is great, yet when it comes to doing the mundane tasks, she does the bare minimum and I find myself fixing what she didn't do. Lately she's been coming back from outings later than 1, and then she says she doesn't have time to cook or bake chicken for DD that takes 20 minutes to heat up in oven. Also, she acted like she couldn't bother to get creative with meals for DD. So I got tips from a friend who's a nutritionist and we're making an "option" list so DD can pick stuff from different categories for variety. When she started she did not properly buckle DD into the carseat, so I had to show her how to. The seat belt was loose. This is not the type of thing I would expect from a season nannied. She came highly recommended with glowing references and is considered a career nanny, but sometimes I find she lacks common sense-the car seat issue being the most noticeable one. She also left towels that were not all the way dried in a bag, "ready" for swim and I went and re-loaded them to fully dry. The main reason we wanted someone of her caliber was so she could be a step ahead and take initiative, but I'm finding that she doesn't. We don't mind if she takes an hour break, but how can we tell her we'd like for her to really make it a priority to full engage in her job-even with things she doesn't care for, like checking DD inventory, sanitizing toys? If on the occasion she really has nothing to do all the hours DD naps, that's fine but it seems more often than not I can find stuff that need done related to DD, and she doesn't take the initiative to do it, so I mention that if she gets time, if she could do X, but I don't always want to check in on her like this. We’ve sat down and I’ve told her our expectations I’m thinking that maybe we misconstrued something. Nannies, any suggestions or tips? Am I missing something here? We give her a credit card to use, she goes on playdates, we buy her food and drinks that she likes. We want her to know we appreciate her. We also give her a health stipend and for Valentine's gave her a gift. She is also on guaranteed hours and does receive OT, if we go over, but we haven't yet. Taxes are also taken out. We want a good and respectful, and professional relationship. We understand she a really important job to do. She did make it a point to say she is here to make our lives easier, but sometimes I'm not sure that's the case. In years to come, we did talk about transitioning to house manager, but that is when DD gets older. |
Anonymous
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Do you have a contract?
She might need more guidance to start. I'd make a list - daily things to do, things to do during extended down time, etc. Daily: Load and empty dishwasher Twice a week: bake some chicken/meal prep Weekly: Disinfect toys vacuum playroom The crumbs thing is nit-picking - some people have better dishwashers than others. I know grown women in their 30's who will put a plate caked in dried eggs in the dishwasher and then blame the dishwasher when the plate doesn't get cleaned. Tell her to rinse the plates first. Some people wouldn't feel comfortable throwing away toys without your permission. The car seat thing is a big deal. What did you ask her references? Did they mention any weaknesses? |
Anonymous
Have a sit down with her like this poster said and make clear expectations. I think all the excess about the nutritionist, etc is not relevant. Many many people use car seats wrong. She needs to be taught. Give her notice and if it doesn't work after a few weeks then find someone new. We got a new dishwasher and with the right detergent I don't need to scrub the dishes. |
Anonymous
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Be explicit about what the tasks are and how and when you want them done
Ex: Child’s laundry: Minimum three loads per week, separate clothes vs towels vs sheets Take sheets and mattress pad off the child’s bed once per week and immediately wash on hot water with detergent, diluted fabric softener. Dry on high. While washing, remake child’s bed. If the bed is wet in the morning, do sheets that day and move weekly load to corresponding day in following weeks. Wash towels from bathing and swimming immediately after swimming class. Wash in hot water, detergent, no fabric softener, then dry on high. Repack clean towels into swimming bag immediately. Hang swimsuit to dry until the day after swimming. Pretreat all stains with shout, wash clothes right side out on cold with fabric softener. Hang any wool, swimsuit, uniform, etc on the clothes bars. Dry on low, then fold/hang and put away immediately to prevent wrinkles. |
Anonymous
| When our nanny was in their first year of working for us, I often left notes saying things like "Please pull out all 3-6 month clothes DD has grown out of and leave in a pile on dining chair." or "Now that DD is almost over her cold, please wipe down all the toys in toy bin with Clorox Wipes. Thank you!" |
Anonymous
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Why would she vacuum during nap time?
She won't have down time forever. When your child breaks a toy you leave it? |
Anonymous
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I am a Nanny & personally find it a little odd that you have listed “chores” for your Nanny to do during baby’s nap time.
Chores are usually reserved for family members. Like another poster stated - your child will not be napping 2-3 hours forever so to expect her to do household tasks during nap time is a bit much. Not trying to be snarky, HONEST! 
But unless your Nanny + child dirtied the dishes during her shift, I wouldn’t think it was her responsibility to load the dishwasher. And I never vacuum while a child naps. Not only will the sound wake them up, but in the event that the child awakens early.... He may be crying for a substantial amount of time before I hear him. And not all Nannies are comfortable throwing bits of toys away. When I find a small piece of a toy - I tend to put it in a spot where I can ask the parents when they get home if it is okay to toss. I know you want to stretch your dollar on this, but the purpose of a Nanny is to not only keep your child safe & alive, but to make sure he is educated, entertained as well as thriving. |
Anonymous
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(Cont.)
Not on if the floor has been vacuumed or the breakfast dishes are properly cleaned when you arrive home. If you want a laundress first your child, I would likely invest in a home laundry service. I wouldn’t want my Nanny stressed about completing chores while caring for my child. Many Nannies who have household tasks assigned to them along w/childcare sometimes will perform their chores while the child is still awake so that they can rest and enjoy their breaks. This results in less attention focused on your child. Not trying to be snarky, just helpful based on my work experiences. |
Anonymous
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^^^^^^OP here: Vacuum his playroom, which is downstairs-so no wouldn’t awake him and it’s as needed. If I find crumbs and stuff in his playroom, why is that so hard to help with. All tasks are childcare related. Disinfecting toys etc. With the exception of the big help for us is the kitchen -load and unloading dishes and wiping counters. But *all of these are only if he sleeps long enough. These aren’t a must do daily but our child sleeps 2-3 hrs/on average.
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Anonymous
OP here: vacuum his playroom as needed. Not weekly but if there’s crumbs or it needs it, why not? She isn’t suppose to do all of these things daily, but if she has time to*. The problem is that for weeks on end she will sit for 3 hours and then I find stuff she could have done to help with in regards to our child. For example, cousins brought over balloons and they deflated, she didn’t think to throw it away or a sensory bin that was used-didn’t clean it up. |
Anonymous
This is what I will start doing. Thanks n |
Anonymous
OP here: We did call her references and they had glowing things to say. Even when I asked about concerns, she didn’t mention anything. I also made a page with reminders of where things are and how she can best help us out and expectations-all contract related. She only managed to skim through it and didn’t read it well. The only reason I know is because she didn’t take the time to clear out outfitted clothes and other stuff that she would have known about, had she read through it all. |
Anonymous
Balloons that cousins brought? Why would that be her job? I wouldn’t vacuum the playroom either. My charges eat in the kitchen/dining room, so any other food is from time with parents; if they allow food elsewhere, they can clean it up or hire someone else (or pay me more) to clean their messes. Now, if she was on she the child used the sensory bin, she should have helped the child learn to clean it up. Again, if it didn’t happen during her time? Nope. Did you put the dishes and your kitchen mess in the contract? If so, she should be doing it. If not, no. I’m 21.35. You should have a contract with the tasks she agreed to do. Now, make an explicit written list of how/when everything in the contract should be done. If there are any child-related tasks (that don’t include cleaning up after you!) which should have been included in the contract, discuss with her. |
Anonymous
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It's not ok from you to expect her to run the dishwasher with YOUR dishes.
She can hand wash the ones she uses with your child. You can't ask anything that's not related to your child. So since she accepted to do it , you can't say she does it the wrong way (crumbs), she's doing you a favor here. It's your job as a mom to clear out outfitted clothes or throw away broken toys when you see them first. |
Anonymous
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I would spell out her responsibilities clearly and on a daily basis. She isn’t proactive and probably will never be proactive. Accept that and manage her accordingly. Tasks for people like your nanny need to be routine and daily. Vacuuming the playroom every day while the child is napping, for example, seems like over-kill but may be easier for her to understand than “when needed”.
I’d also drop the unload-the-dishwasher chore and center everything on the child. |