Should we just starting looking for another nanny or keep trying with her ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would she vacuum during nap time?
She won't have down time forever. When your child breaks a toy you leave it?

OP here: vacuum his playroom as needed. Not weekly but if there’s crumbs or it needs it, why not? She isn’t suppose to do all of these things daily, but if she has time to*. The problem is that for weeks on end she will sit for 3 hours and then I find stuff she could have done to help with in regards to our child. For example, cousins brought over balloons and they deflated, she didn’t think to throw it away or a sensory bin that was used-didn’t clean it up.

Balloons that cousins brought? Why would that be her job?

I wouldn’t vacuum the playroom either. My charges eat in the kitchen/dining room, so any other food is from time with parents; if they allow food elsewhere, they can clean it up or hire someone else (or pay me more) to clean their messes.

Now, if she was on she the child used the sensory bin, she should have helped the child learn to clean it up. Again, if it didn’t happen during her time? Nope.

Did you put the dishes and your kitchen mess in the contract? If so, she should be doing it. If not, no.

Thank gawd you don’t nanny for us. You sound so sanctimonious.

I’m 21.35. You should have a contract with the tasks she agreed to do. Now, make an explicit written list of how/when everything in the contract should be done. If there are any child-related tasks (that don’t include cleaning up after you!) which should have been included in the contract, discuss with her.

Thank gawd you don’t nanny for us. You sound so sanctimonious.

[Anonymous]

^^100. This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not ok from you to expect her to run the dishwasher with YOUR dishes.
She can hand wash the ones she uses with your child.
You can't ask anything that's not related to your child.
So since she accepted to do it , you can't say she does it the wrong way (crumbs), she's doing you a favor here.

It's your job as a mom to clear out outfitted clothes or throw away broken toys when you see them first.

Another sanctimonious nanny. Luckily, our top dollar doesn’t pay for someone so rigid like you. OP, your nanny needs explicit instructions. I agree with the other parents who chimes in.

[Anonymous]

I am a career nanny and unfortunately a lot of “nannies” who post on here are either trolls or bad nannies or both.

What you want is pretty easy to explain: you want an experienced nanny who is good with your child and is ALSO a self-starter with a solid work ethic. IME, people either have it or they don’t in this arena. When my current charges were that age, I was making all their purees during nap, planning sensory activities, vaccuuming their play area so they didn’t have to crawl around a dusty floor, washing bottles and prepping pump parts so Mb would have everything clean and ready and beside her bed overnight, Organizing their clothes as they went up a size, ordering more diapers/wipes/shampoo, the list goes on.

I would not try to train a passive person to be a self-starter. It’s not going to work out. Look for someone new and interview specifically with this in mind. Look at people who have been with families even after the kids started preschool and took on a nanny/family assistant role.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a career nanny and unfortunately a lot of “nannies” who post on here are either trolls or bad nannies or both.

What you want is pretty easy to explain: you want an experienced nanny who is good with your child and is ALSO a self-starter with a solid work ethic. IME, people either have it or they don’t in this arena. When my current charges were that age, I was making all their purees during nap, planning sensory activities, vaccuuming their play area so they didn’t have to crawl around a dusty floor, washing bottles and prepping pump parts so Mb would have everything clean and ready and beside her bed overnight, Organizing their clothes as they went up a size, ordering more diapers/wipes/shampoo, the list goes on.

I would not try to train a passive person to be a self-starter. It’s not going to work out. Look for someone new and interview specifically with this in mind. Look at people who have been with families even after the kids started preschool and took on a nanny/family assistant role.

How much do you charge for your superiority?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would she vacuum during nap time?
She won't have down time forever. When your child breaks a toy you leave it?

OP here: vacuum his playroom as needed. Not weekly but if there’s crumbs or it needs it, why not? She isn’t suppose to do all of these things daily, but if she has time to*. The problem is that for weeks on end she will sit for 3 hours and then I find stuff she could have done to help with in regards to our child. For example, cousins brought over balloons and they deflated, she didn’t think to throw it away or a sensory bin that was used-didn’t clean it up.

Balloons that cousins brought? Why would that be her job?

I wouldn’t vacuum the playroom either. My charges eat in the kitchen/dining room, so any other food is from time with parents; if they allow food elsewhere, they can clean it up or hire someone else (or pay me more) to clean their messes.

Now, if she was on she the child used the sensory bin, she should have helped the child learn to clean it up. Again, if it didn’t happen during her time? Nope.

Did you put the dishes and your kitchen mess in the contract? If so, she should be doing it. If not, no.

Thank gawd you don’t nanny for us. You sound so sanctimonious.

I’m 21.35. You should have a contract with the tasks she agreed to do. Now, make an explicit written list of how/when everything in the contract should be done. If there are any child-related tasks (that don’t include cleaning up after you!) which should have been included in the contract, discuss with her.

Thank gawd you don’t nanny for us. You sound so sanctimonious.

Well it’s clear the kind of nanny you employ and can afford. Carry on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have a contract?

She might need more guidance to start. I'd make a list - daily things to do, things to do during extended down time, etc.

Daily:
Load and empty dishwasher

Twice a week:
bake some chicken/meal prep

Weekly:
Disinfect toys
vacuum playroom

The crumbs thing is nit-picking - some people have better dishwashers than others. I know grown women in their 30's who will put a plate caked in dried eggs in the dishwasher and then blame the dishwasher when the plate doesn't get cleaned.
Tell her to rinse the plates first.

Some people wouldn't feel comfortable throwing away toys without your permission.

The car seat thing is a big deal. What did you ask her references? Did they mention any weaknesses?

OP here: We did call her references and they had glowing things to say. Even when I asked about concerns, she didn’t mention anything.
I also made a page with reminders of where things are and how she can best help us out and expectations-all contract related.
She only managed to skim through it and didn’t read it well. The only reason I know is because she didn’t take the time to clear out outfitted clothes and other stuff that she would have known about, had she read through it all.

If her references were that good then you are the problem
Who cares if there are crumbs on dishes in the dishwasher? You are ridiculous. Also, s nanny should not need to empty dishwasher, this is your job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have a contract?

She might need more guidance to start. I'd make a list - daily things to do, things to do during extended down time, etc.

Daily:
Load and empty dishwasher

Twice a week:
bake some chicken/meal prep

Weekly:
Disinfect toys
vacuum playroom

The crumbs thing is nit-picking - some people have better dishwashers than others. I know grown women in their 30's who will put a plate caked in dried eggs in the dishwasher and then blame the dishwasher when the plate doesn't get cleaned.
Tell her to rinse the plates first.

Some people wouldn't feel comfortable throwing away toys without your permission.

The car seat thing is a big deal. What did you ask her references? Did they mention any weaknesses?

OP here: We did call her references and they had glowing things to say. Even when I asked about concerns, she didn’t mention anything.
I also made a page with reminders of where things are and how she can best help us out and expectations-all contract related.
She only managed to skim through it and didn’t read it well. The only reason I know is because she didn’t take the time to clear out outfitted clothes and other stuff that she would have known about, had she read through it all.

If her references were that good then you are the problem
Who cares if there are crumbs on dishes in the dishwasher? You are ridiculous. Also, s nanny should not need to empty dishwasher, this is your job.

NP. It sounds like emptying this dishwasher IS literally part of her job. A job is defined by whatever is agreed to upon hiring for that job. It is not what you say it is.

Do you not know how to empty a dishwasher? Is it that hard?

OP how sure are you that her references were real?

She is not magically going to change. Even if you can get her to do more, it doesn’t seem like it’s in her nature and she will not be happy and you will not be either. I would recommend looking for someone new. If a nanny isn’t going to make your life easier, you may as well save some $ and switch to daycare.

[Anonymous]

OP, as a first-time nanny employer it sounds to me like you got a nanny who had great references because she worked for families that wanted this kind of nanny. She is probably very loving and sweet with the baby and for some families that is the only thing that matters. You want someone who can juggle a bit more than that, which is fine. But you need to interview for a nanny who fits your specific vision, not just someone who has great references. I always say that hiring a nanny is like shopping for jeans: a fit that is perfect for one person will be a nightmare for another! So the fact that her other references didn’t criticize her for this issue may just mean that it wasn’t something they ever wanted or expected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a career nanny and unfortunately a lot of “nannies” who post on here are either trolls or bad nannies or both.

What you want is pretty easy to explain: you want an experienced nanny who is good with your child and is ALSO a self-starter with a solid work ethic. IME, people either have it or they don’t in this arena. When my current charges were that age, I was making all their purees during nap, planning sensory activities, vaccuuming their play area so they didn’t have to crawl around a dusty floor, washing bottles and prepping pump parts so Mb would have everything clean and ready and beside her bed overnight, Organizing their clothes as they went up a size, ordering more diapers/wipes/shampoo, the list goes on.

I would not try to train a passive person to be a self-starter. It’s not going to work out. Look for someone new and interview specifically with this in mind. Look at people who have been with families even after the kids started preschool and took on a nanny/family assistant role.

Not a nanny, but completely agree with this. Of course, she can have reasonable down time and still be productive. There were some other reasonable recommendations to sit down and talk with her (sounds like you already have, but maybe try once more to make yourself feel better). If you're having to micromanage now, you will forever.

[Anonymous]

The employee is not a mind reader. What seems obvious to you may not be obvious to her. Also she may have not ever have been required to do these housekeeping tasks at her other nanny jobs.

Just kindly and respectfully discuss your expe ruins. Stop whining and be a boss. Tell her what you want her to do but in a respectful manner. “When you get a chance this week I would love it if you could disinfect the toys.” Show her how you want them disinfected.

[Anonymous]

Also primary concern of parent should be that the nanny is great childcare provider - not housekeeper

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also primary concern of parent should be that the nanny is great childcare provider - not housekeeper

A nanny who is loving and nurturing but not a multitasker is fine. But many, many nannies take a wholistic approach to ensuring that the environment their charges inhabit is well-maintained, and many, many families hire for that. Being a well-rounded self-starter does not make a nanny any less of a nanny. As a nanny, I leave the house just as clean as when I got it and that means that the areas we use need to be cleaned each day. I also am cooking healthy food for my charge, which requires cleanup, doing art projects which require cleanup. And beyond cleaning there is the child’s laundry and maintaining their wardrobe as they change sizes and seasons. Does that make me a laundress? Or a personal shopper? Or a chef? Or an artist? No. It makes me a well-rounded nanny.

[Anonymous]

My nanny requires a lot of direction as well. She's loving, warm and wonderful with the children and so we don't mind that she's not a self-starter. We explicitly lay out a list of tasks for her to do - all child related (pick up toys and straighten up play area. throw dirty clothing in the hamper. wash and put away the kids' bottles/cups and dishes/utensils. wipe down the high chair and make sure the kitchen floor underneath is clear of drips and debris. etc.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^^^^^OP here: Vacuum his playroom, which is downstairs-so no wouldn’t awake him and it’s as needed. If I find crumbs and stuff in his playroom, why is that so hard to help with. All tasks are childcare related. Disinfecting toys etc. With the exception of the big help for us is the kitchen -load and unloading dishes and wiping counters. But *all of these are only if he sleeps long enough. These aren’t a must do daily but our child sleeps 2-3 hrs/on average.

I'd be more concerned as to why your child cannot eat without making a mess and why do you allow eating in any room other than kitchen,?