First family to interview AP?

[Anonymous]

I am looking for August arrival. So i have interviewed this AP that I really like and she seems to really like my family as well. But before I even asked her if she wanted to match, she told me I am the first family she has interviewed with and she wants to talk to other family before making a decision. I understand that sentiment but I am thinking about moving on because I am actually getting to the stage where I want to match but I know she is not ready. She is not coming until August and I know she not getting a lot of interviews at the moment. This is a red flag right? should I just let her go?

TIA

[Anonymous]

Makes sense for her to test the water, and you are on the early side for August. Set a deadline (say 2-3 weeks) and tell her you really like her but understand she wants to talk to a few other families - you will continue to interview too. If its meant to be, it will work out.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP,

I would not see it as a red flag. I do want my candidate to make an educated decision. This involves interviewing with other families. I like the idea of the PP to give her a deadline. Personally, I think 2 weeks is plenty. In the meantime, I would use the 2 weeks to interview other candidates. I am sure why you think that she is not getting many interviews right now. We typically interview Feb/March and match March/April for August arrival.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I would also give a timeline and keep looking. I understand her hesitation but I would also worry she is shopping for a better option. it won't end well if she thinks she is settling for your family.

For all of our best AP's it has been a very quick and easy decision on both sides because we 'clicked'. If she didn't feel that way with your family there might be a better option out there.

[Anonymous]

Au Pairs prefer New York, Boston, Chicago or Los Angeles.
Washington is always one of the last places they want to be ...

She would have said yes for more $ and lots of perks for sure.

Sorry to burst your bubble, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would also give a timeline and keep looking. I understand her hesitation but I would also worry she is shopping for a better option. it won't end well if she thinks she is settling for your family.

For all of our best AP's it has been a very quick and easy decision on both sides because we 'clicked'. If she didn't feel that way with your family there might be a better option out there.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Au Pairs prefer New York, Boston, Chicago or Los Angeles.
Washington is always one of the last places they want to be ...

She would have said yes for more $ and lots of perks for sure.

Sorry to burst your bubble, OP.

Haha, she is not bursting my bubble because there is no bubble. I have a lot of times and lot of options and I just want to know if I should move on and it seems like I should! thanks for you input i guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would also give a timeline and keep looking. I understand her hesitation but I would also worry she is shopping for a better option. it won't end well if she thinks she is settling for your family.

For all of our best AP's it has been a very quick and easy decision on both sides because we 'clicked'. If she didn't feel that way with your family there might be a better option out there.

OP here, I agree with this! I think she is shopping for a better option, she has a friend AP in San Francisco and I think that is probably where she wants to end. Anyway she asked till the end of the month and I agreed but to be honest I am kind of already moved on from her. There are other stuffs about our interaction that just gave me to pause.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would also give a timeline and keep looking. I understand her hesitation but I would also worry she is shopping for a better option. it won't end well if she thinks she is settling for your family.

For all of our best AP's it has been a very quick and easy decision on both sides because we 'clicked'. If she didn't feel that way with your family there might be a better option out there.

OP here, I agree with this! I think she is shopping for a better option, she has a friend AP in San Francisco and I think that is probably where she wants to end. Anyway she asked till the end of the month and I agreed but to be honest I am kind of already moved on from her. There are other stuffs about our interaction that just gave me to pause.

Trust your gut OP! You have to live with this person for a year!

[Anonymous]

I actually always wanted my APs to talk with more than just us. If I think she's perfect for us I'm willing to wait.

[Anonymous]

We had one AP we really liked. Spoke with her twice, she seemed liked she needed more time to weigh options. We told her we would interview more candidates, but she was our first choice, and we would give her two weeks to decide. We couched it like we needed to be fair to other applicants. During this time we sent extremely cute photos of dog and child and checked in with her a couple times. In the end she came to us, she had wanted California, but the other family jerked her around and had less perks (own small car vs. needing to ask for use of minivan, one kid vs. 3 kids, predictable hours vs. run-around). Unless she really checks all of the boxes I wouldn't do that. We are recruiting for a specific language with a small AP pool, so we felt like it was worth it.

[Anonymous]

One year, we loved the first AP we interviewed. We were an experienced HF and knew she was a good fit for us, but we were her first family, and she wasn’t ready to commit. We told her to go off and interview with other families and come back to us when/if she wanted to match. APs are also putting a lot of blind trust in a HF, and we wanted her to be comfortable with her decision. She interviewed with a few more families, we kept loosely in touch, and after about a month she came back and said she wanted to match with us. She stayed with us for a year plus a 9 month extension and was fabulous.

There are a lot of overly skeptical folks on here. Don’t know why they’re in the program if they think it’s so awful and trust their APs so little. We’ve had mostly great experiences for our 9 years of hosting. For us, the good ones have been the rule, not the exception.

[Anonymous]

I want to echo what PP said - we're on our fourth fantastic AP and 6th year in the program (bc extensions) - don't rush to pick someone, the right one will come along and it will "click"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Au Pairs prefer New York, Boston, Chicago or Los Angeles.
Washington is always one of the last places they want to be ...

She would have said yes for more $ and lots of perks for sure.

Sorry to burst your bubble, OP.

While I agree that New York, Boston, Chicago, or California are more desirable than DC, Washington is not one of the last places APs want to be. You are conveniently forgetting the rest of the county (Texas, Ohio, rural VA, etc..).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Au Pairs prefer New York, Boston, Chicago or Los Angeles.
Washington is always one of the last places they want to be ...

She would have said yes for more $ and lots of perks for sure.

Sorry to burst your bubble, OP.

While I agree that New York, Boston, Chicago, or California are more desirable than DC, Washington is not one of the last places APs want to be. You are conveniently forgetting the rest of the county (Texas, Ohio, rural VA, etc..).

We lived in Chicago, and while all of our au pairs ultimately loved it, not one had remotely considered going there. We’ve found DC to be an easier sell.