Ap asked to extend 4 months in and we aren’t ready to commit- what to say?

[Anonymous]

Our Ap has been here for 4 months and asked to extend with us. The first 2 months were vary rough and we were pretty close to rematching. The 3rd month was ok. Last month actually was pretty good. But I feel like it is too early to make a decision on this. Right now, I’d say no for sure but if she continues to improve I feel like I’d entertain the idea by I don’t want to make a choice yet.

So for now I just said oh it is so early, let’s see if you like winter, let’s wait until the paperwork comes and then talk about it...any other advice? At which month do you think it is reasonable to come up with a response to this. FWIW with the 2 au pairs we extended with we asked them at the 6 month mark and gave them a month to decide. With the au pair I did not want to extend with, the feeling was mutual and she told me at the 6 month mark that she was extending but wanted a new family. So I feel like it is very early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our Ap has been here for 4 months and asked to extend with us. The first 2 months were vary rough and we were pretty close to rematching. The 3rd month was ok. Last month actually was pretty good. But I feel like it is too early to make a decision on this. Right now, I’d say no for sure but if she continues to improve I feel like I’d entertain the idea by I don’t want to make a choice yet.

So for now I just said oh it is so early, let’s see if you like winter, let’s wait until the paperwork comes and then talk about it...any other advice? At which month do you think it is reasonable to come up with a response to this. FWIW with the 2 au pairs we extended with we asked them at the 6 month mark and gave them a month to decide. With the au pair I did not want to extend with, the feeling was mutual and she told me at the 6 month mark that she was extending but wanted a new family. So I feel like it is very early.

It is too soon. 6 months when you start talking about it, when agencies start sending email about it. I would ask her why she wants to extend? maybe she met a guy? In any case I would tell her that we can revisit the topic in 2 months as you usually don't talk extension before the 6 month mark. Don't make about her or her performance just say as a rule you don't talk about it so soon.

[Anonymous]

I would tell her it is too early and to remind her that she may also feel differently about the area in a few months. Tell her when you usually start to think about finding the next au pair and tell her you would be happy to talk then.

[Anonymous]

I agree with other posters. We typically will talk about extension at 6 months because your situation and theirs may change. Schools, driving. significant others, etc... I think giving them a 2-4 weeks is very fair. And if you feel strongly about not extending, do not feel terrible. Ultimately you need the situation that is best for the kids and family.

[Anonymous]

I've heard from other forums that the 2nd year is never as great as the 1st. Meaning if you are lukewarm about the 1st year, it probably won't get much better. Just saying this to give you more fortitude to do what you gotta do