Nanny phone usage

[Anonymous]

So I have a lovely, energetic nanny who goes above and beyond for the most part. She’s been with us for a few months and there hasn’t been any issues except for her phone usage.

For example, I’ve asked her to do light baby related chores (in her contract), but I’m frequently finding them not done. Bottles are left in the sink, the nursery diaper pail is never taken out and his laundry is never started or finished.

When she puts our son down for a nap, she will snuggle with him but have her phone on with bright lights in his face. I’ve asked her to not do this multiple times. When I come out of my office, she’s often sitting on the couch, on her phone.

Also for the record I relieve her for a 30 minute, paid lunch break and take my son on my lunch break. I also take my son to nurse or play with him on my breaks too so she gets 1 30 min paid break and two shorter paid breaks per day.

When I ask her to not be on her phone when putting him down for a nap, she says she does it to stay awake. I’m not sure what else I can say to this. It’s part of the job to ensure she is awake enough to perform her duties. I make sure she gets enough rest breaks if needed but I’m not sure how else I can do this, short of asking her to put her phone away at the beginning of her shift and not check it.

There is nothing in her job description that asks her to be on her phone. She doesn’t run errands or write grocery lists or send photo updates. For the most part she’s browsing Instagram.

I work from home. I am looking for any gentle feedback on how I can encourage my nanny to not sit on her phone while with my son.

She is paid $25/hr, guaranteed hours per week with two weeks vacation, sick pay and health insurance stipend.

[Anonymous]

I would simply tell her that she is not allowed on her phone unless he’s at least 10 feet away from her and asleep. Period. You’ve tried the gentle approach and it hasn’t worked.

- a nanny

[Anonymous]

You sound like a very nice lady and you are being taken advantage of. She can use her phone on her breaks. It's her responsibility to make sure she has enough sleep to make sure she stays awake. You need to be firm and tell her in a tactful way her phone use is an issue and it needs to stop unless she is on her break. Also use that time to remind her about keeping up with the baby housekeeping. As an outsider she does not sound that great.

[Anonymous]

Our nanny uses her phone during her break when DS is napping and at no other time except to take pictures of DS. She’s a wonderful nanny - teaching and engaging DS far above what I even thought was possible and always get her few chores completed (just his laundry, cooking for him, and emptying his diaper genie). So yes, it can be done. And you should absolutely expect the same.

[Anonymous]

I am a Nanny and I personally hate the term “chores.”
I guess it reminds me so much of being parented myself.

How many hours a day does your Nanny work?
I generally think caring for an infant as tougher than caring for older children.

There are frequent feedings, diaper changes, & it can get pretty grueling entertaining an infant since they have a very short attention span.

So during baby’s naps - that is when Nanny rests too.
This allows her to be the best she can possibly be for your child.

It is common sense for a Nanny to wash any bottles/dishes utilized during her shift as well as have the toys/books/puzzles all picked up & put away prior to her ending her shift.

But assigning a Nanny chores is not in the best interest of the Nanny or the child.

It only benefits the parents who are trying to stretch their dollar.
Doing laundry is a job for the laundress, it is a separate duty entirely.

A Nanny’s duties are caring for the child to the best of her abilities.
Keeping your child fed, dry, well-rested, clean, safe & happy.
Aren’t these things more valuable than an empty diaper pail?

Also - - as a final thought....
If you want to have a Nanny who does not use her phone so much, then do not hire a young Nanny.

Btw, I wish you only the best in whatever is the final outcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a Nanny and I personally hate the term “chores.”
I guess it reminds me so much of being parented myself.

How many hours a day does your Nanny work?
I generally think caring for an infant as tougher than caring for older children.

There are frequent feedings, diaper changes, & it can get pretty grueling entertaining an infant since they have a very short attention span.

So during baby’s naps - that is when Nanny rests too.
This allows her to be the best she can possibly be for your child.

It is common sense for a Nanny to wash any bottles/dishes utilized during her shift as well as have the toys/books/puzzles all picked up & put away prior to her ending her shift.

But assigning a Nanny chores is not in the best interest of the Nanny or the child.

It only benefits the parents who are trying to stretch their dollar.
Doing laundry is a job for the laundress, it is a separate duty entirely.

A Nanny’s duties are caring for the child to the best of her abilities.
Keeping your child fed, dry, well-rested, clean, safe & happy.
Aren’t these things more valuable than an empty diaper pail?

Also - - as a final thought....
If you want to have a Nanny who does not use her phone so much, then do not hire a young Nanny.

Btw, I wish you only the best in whatever is the final outcome.

OP mentioned that the bottles aren't getting washed. So the "common sense" things you mentioned aren't getting done either.

[Anonymous]

Putting in a load of laundry and taking it out and sorting it during one of an infants many naps is not complicated and is standard for most nanny care. It can even be educational to fold some laundry while talking to a baby doing floor time on a blanket.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a Nanny and I personally hate the term “chores.”
I guess it reminds me so much of being parented myself.

How many hours a day does your Nanny work?
I generally think caring for an infant as tougher than caring for older children.

There are frequent feedings, diaper changes, & it can get pretty grueling entertaining an infant since they have a very short attention span.

So during baby’s naps - that is when Nanny rests too.
This allows her to be the best she can possibly be for your child.

It is common sense for a Nanny to wash any bottles/dishes utilized during her shift as well as have the toys/books/puzzles all picked up & put away prior to her ending her shift.

But assigning a Nanny chores is not in the best interest of the Nanny or the child.

It only benefits the parents who are trying to stretch their dollar.
Doing laundry is a job for the laundress, it is a separate duty entirely.

A Nanny’s duties are caring for the child to the best of her abilities.
Keeping your child fed, dry, well-rested, clean, safe & happy.
Aren’t these things more valuable than an empty diaper pail?

Also - - as a final thought....
If you want to have a Nanny who does not use her phone so much, then do not hire a young Nanny.

Btw, I wish you only the best in whatever is the final outcome.

OP mentioned that the bottles aren't getting washed. So the "common sense" things you mentioned aren't getting done either.

Op here.

I hate these kind of repaonses that put the onus on the employer for why it’s ok for a nanny to sit on her phone and ignore her other job duties. As if it’s somehow my fault that I hired a young nanny or that she’s not doing her work.

It seems borderline manipulative to cite my child’s wellbeing as reason for me to ignore that the nanny isn’t taking out the nursery garbage.

Yes, my son naps for close to 3 hours/day. The nanny gets 1 hour total in rest time over the course of 8 hours. So there’s a good 4-5 hours of interaction and the other half is downtime, when NOTHING is getting done. The laundry is piled up, the garbages are full and the bottles are piled up in the sink.

For the record I have a housekeeper and our house is quite orderly so it’s a pain for me to finish my workday and tidy up the small tasks that I asked the nanny to do in her downtime while the child naps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a Nanny and I personally hate the term “chores.”
I guess it reminds me so much of being parented myself.

How many hours a day does your Nanny work?
I generally think caring for an infant as tougher than caring for older children.

There are frequent feedings, diaper changes, & it can get pretty grueling entertaining an infant since they have a very short attention span.

So during baby’s naps - that is when Nanny rests too.
This allows her to be the best she can possibly be for your child.

It is common sense for a Nanny to wash any bottles/dishes utilized during her shift as well as have the toys/books/puzzles all picked up & put away prior to her ending her shift.

But assigning a Nanny chores is not in the best interest of the Nanny or the child.

It only benefits the parents who are trying to stretch their dollar.
Doing laundry is a job for the laundress, it is a separate duty entirely.

A Nanny’s duties are caring for the child to the best of her abilities.
Keeping your child fed, dry, well-rested, clean, safe & happy.
Aren’t these things more valuable than an empty diaper pail?

Also - - as a final thought....
If you want to have a Nanny who does not use her phone so much, then do not hire a young Nanny.

Btw, I wish you only the best in whatever is the final outcome.

OP mentioned that the bottles aren't getting washed. So the "common sense" things you mentioned aren't getting done either.

Op here.

I hate these kind of repaonses that put the onus on the employer for why it’s ok for a nanny to sit on her phone and ignore her other job duties. As if it’s somehow my fault that I hired a young nanny or that she’s not doing her work.

It seems borderline manipulative to cite my child’s wellbeing as reason for me to ignore that the nanny isn’t taking out the nursery garbage.

Yes, my son naps for close to 3 hours/day. The nanny gets 1 hour total in rest time over the course of 8 hours. So there’s a good 4-5 hours of interaction and the other half is downtime, when NOTHING is getting done. The laundry is piled up, the garbages are full and the bottles are piled up in the sink.

For the record I have a housekeeper and our house is quite orderly so it’s a pain for me to finish my workday and tidy up the small tasks that I asked the nanny to do in her downtime while the child naps.

Nanny here and I agree with OP 100%. Your nanny is clearly not doing her job.

Absolutely forbid phone usage until it is her rest time (I personally have no problem doing that). I don’t like phones near babies’ heads and only work for scree-free families until the child is at least two. You are well within your right as an employer to put your foot down on that. Also, have a conversation about needing her to fulfill her assigned duties (laundry, diapers, cleaning up play areas, etc).

[Anonymous]

You cannot "forbid",phone usage. You use your pho e at work and she should be able to as well. I think OP sounds awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You cannot "forbid",phone usage. You use your pho e at work and she should be able to as well. I think OP sounds awful.

Yes, of course you can forbid phone usage. You sound immature and phone-addicted.

I don’t know how to break it to both young nannies and young mothers, but you can absolutely leave your phone at the door and not touch it for hours on end. Your phone isn’t actually attached to your hand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You cannot "forbid",phone usage. You use your pho e at work and she should be able to as well. I think OP sounds awful.

Yes, of course you can forbid phone usage. You sound immature and phone-addicted.

I don’t know how to break it to both young nannies and young mothers, but you can absolutely leave your phone at the door and not touch it for hours on end. Your phone isn’t actually attached to your hand.

I tried this in my office and it didn't work. Too many of you checking on
your nannies and then posting on DCUM about nannies alwYs on their phones!

[Anonymous]

Hi OP,

I've worked as a nanny for families with newborns which have required helping out with other things while the baby was napping (washing baby bottles, unloading dishwasher, and laundry). I think it is fair to say that while the baby is awake, there is no phone usage (unless it is during her 30 minute paid break). If the baby is sleeping, she should make sure that her other responsibilities (it might be helpful if you leave a list of them somewhere for her reference) are completed. After that, she is welcome to use her phone. If I were in your position, I would consider letting her know the phone usage is a problem and so you'd like to try this for a week or month and then revisit it and if it continues to be a problem, you'd likely ask her from refraining from using her phone during any working hours. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

OP, I have to respectfully disagree on your rebuttal post.

Any parent who expects her Nanny to not only care for her precious child - but also to do laundry is clearly invested in what she can get from her dollar than caring about how their child is doing while under the Nanny’s care.

If I come home from work to a well-cared for, loved + thriving child then that means I have a great Nanny.
Determining whether she is worth her weight in gold by rating her chore performance is just wrong.

A Nanny is a childcare provider.
There is no “standard” where Nannies are expected to do any laundry, for example.
Many house cleaners do not do laundry service....why expect the Nanny to?

Plus Mother Nature has even determined the logistics for anyone who is in charge to care for a child.

Young children are much tougher to properly care for physically since they rely on adults for the majority of their needs.
So therefore by nature, younger children tend to nap more which by default gives its caretaker ample opportunity to have an adequate rest before starting up again.

To expect your Nanny to utilize nap times for light household duties would be interfering w/Mother Nature.

I do agree that your Nanny should wash your baby’s bottles, but only the ones she uses to feed your child.

And how do you know that it is guaranteed that your child will continue to nap for three hours every time she is watching him??
You cannot, which is why it doesn’t make any sense to assign daily chores.

*Disclaimer:
Yes, you are part of the problem OP if you hire a younger Nanny.
Anyone w/any common sense knows that the majority of twenty somethings consider their Smartphones their fifth limb.

[Anonymous]

04:24 nailed it. OP, read it and profit thereby!