Would you recommend a weekend nanny who has proved herself to be unreliable?

[Anonymous]

This is a pretty amazing daycare teacher who just has that “it factor” with little kids. She is also wonderful with babies. I used to work with her and witnessed her talents with young children. So I set her up with a dear family friend who was needing four hours on one weekend day (guaranteed/$25 an hour). The kids loved her. However about 30% of the time she either cancelled on the family or didn’t show up. Once she cancelled on them to go to a party where I happened to be after telling the family she was sick.

Now she has a serious family money crisis and has asked me again to help her find a weekend nanny gig.

I am reticent to recommend her because of her issue with unreliability. WWYD? I am a nanny and know I wouldn’t recommend her to work on weekends with my current charge and his parents. Then again, her family situation is real and dire.

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Can you tell her that? You want to help her but you know in the past she has bailed on jobs. You are hesitant to recommend her as a result. You are willing to try once more but if she nails then you can’t help anymore? If the situation is that bad for her, she should be more committed than before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you tell her that? You want to help her but you know in the past she has bailed on jobs. You are hesitant to recommend her as a result. You are willing to try once more but if she nails then you can’t help anymore? If the situation is that bad for her, she should be more committed than before.

I agree. You have to talk to her honestly about this issue. If she gives you excuses, don’t recommend her or help her find a job. If she owns up to it, try one last time.

[Anonymous]

No, be honest and say she no showed or canceled too much. At $25 an hour she needs to be reliable.

[Anonymous]

Nope. The point of recommendations to to recommend someone you would use.

[Anonymous]

Did you talk with her, OP?

[Anonymous]

I would say "Sorry, I can't recommend you because even though you're great with kids, you're unreliable. Maybe you can sell some of your stuff for extra money."

And I wouldn't feel badly about it for a second.

[Anonymous]

I feel divided about stuff like this. As a nanny, I think your friend has already “made her bed” but as a human I think everyone deserves a second chance.

[Anonymous]

She has shown herself as not only unreliable but also as dishonest so truthfully I could not recommend her.

I would feel bad if I referred her to a family & she lied to them.

[Anonymous]

Suggest that she find someone else to recommend her. If she’s so great, there are other parents who know, and they won’t know she’s been unreliable in the past. I’d also explain why I couldn’t.

[Anonymous]

I don't get why this is so hard for people. Just say no, you are unreliable. If one of my employees called out 30% of the time, I would tell them to leave. A nanny is your employee, you should always keep it that way and not get so emotionally involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get why this is so hard for people. Just say no, you are unreliable. If one of my employees called out 30% of the time, I would tell them to leave. A nanny is your employee, you should always keep it that way and not get so emotionally involved.

You misunderstood. The OP asking the question is a nanny. Her friend, a daycare teacher, needs weekend babysitting hours. The friend was 30% unreliable in the past as a weekend babysitter but now needs the money for a family crisis. Should OP recommend her for another job?

No one is unduly emotional (except maybe you).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a pretty amazing daycare teacher who just has that “it factor” with little kids. She is also wonderful with babies. I used to work with her and witnessed her talents with young children. So I set her up with a dear family friend who was needing four hours on one weekend day (guaranteed/$25 an hour). The kids loved her. However about 30% of the time she either cancelled on the family or didn’t show up. Once she cancelled on them to go to a party where I happened to be after telling the family she was sick.

Now she has a serious family money crisis and has asked me again to help her find a weekend nanny gig.

I am reticent to recommend her because of her issue with unreliability. WWYD? I am a nanny and know I wouldn’t recommend her to work on weekends with my current charge and his parents. Then again, her family situation is real and dire.

Thanks!

What did you do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a pretty amazing daycare teacher who just has that “it factor” with little kids. She is also wonderful with babies. I used to work with her and witnessed her talents with young children. So I set her up with a dear family friend who was needing four hours on one weekend day (guaranteed/$25 an hour). The kids loved her. However about 30% of the time she either cancelled on the family or didn’t show up. Once she cancelled on them to go to a party where I happened to be after telling the family she was sick.

Now she has a serious family money crisis and has asked me again to help her find a weekend nanny gig.

I am reticent to recommend her because of her issue with unreliability. WWYD? I am a nanny and know I wouldn’t recommend her to work on weekends with my current charge and his parents. Then again, her family situation is real and dire.

Thanks!

What did you do?

OP here. Nothing. No job has come up and I haven’t spoken to my friend since I posted. I am going to talk to her about my issues when a job comes up. Based on her reply (if she owns it or denies it) I will recommend or not.

Thanks for the input. She’s young and has to get it together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get why this is so hard for people. Just say no, you are unreliable. If one of my employees called out 30% of the time, I would tell them to leave. A nanny is your employee, you should always keep it that way and not get so emotionally involved.

You misunderstood. The OP asking the question is a nanny. Her friend, a daycare teacher, needs weekend babysitting hours. The friend was 30% unreliable in the past as a weekend babysitter but now needs the money for a family crisis. Should OP recommend her for another job?

No one is unduly emotional (except maybe you).

No I understood the question. My answer would still be no, you are unreliable. Why is this so hard?