How to keep an Au Pair from leaving

[Anonymous]

Here's what I see from awful host families. Also i'm not an au pair btw. I just know some

1) Making them work weekends because they take their kid to a daycare

2) Maxing out their hours (45) when they know they only make $200 a week pre tax

3) Curfews everyday including weekends

4) Butting into their personal lives

5) Charging au pairs for using the car.

6) Host dads hitting on au pairs

7) Host moms being a total bitch

8) Poorly raised kids/ undisciplined kids....almost every family lol. The au pair cannot fix your parenting. Learn to raise kids. Money can't fix your issues.

[Anonymous]

Here's why Host Families Want to go into Rematch:
1) Au Pairs who get offended when they are asked to..oh, I don't know...work!

2) APs who are resentful that they have to work 1 weekend/month (when this was clearly discussed at matching)

3) APs who are surprised of certain rules when everything was written for them in a handbook that they chose not to review

4) Entitled APs who think this is an extended vacation

5) APs who think that host families are short order cooks

6) APs who think they *own* the host family's car and get angry when the host family asks about the car's whereabouts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's why Host Families Want to go into Rematch:
1) Au Pairs who get offended when they are asked to..oh, I don't know...work!

2) APs who are resentful that they have to work 1 weekend/month (when this was clearly discussed at matching)

3) APs who are surprised of certain rules when everything was written for them in a handbook that they chose not to review

4) Entitled APs who think this is an extended vacation

5) APs who think that host families are short order cooks

6) APs who think they *own* the host family's car and get angry when the host family asks about the car's whereabouts.

I want to play! How about:

Lying to the host family about mundane things that the host family can easily catch you in your lies

[Anonymous]

If they don't like working the 45 hours for the $200 stipend, then they shouldn't have joined the program in the first place. Au pairs do not understand that families have paid $9,000 in program fees to the agency, pay for gas, car insurance, cell phone, food, electricity and water. It is actually a lot of money. And I don't think most au pairs just see their $200 and forget about the other expenses. I would be happy to pay our au pair more if she wanted to buy her own food, pay for her own cell phone, gym, etc. But they want their cake and to eat it too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If they don't like working the 45 hours for the $200 stipend, then they shouldn't have joined the program in the first place. Au pairs do not understand that families have paid $9,000 in program fees to the agency, pay for gas, car insurance, cell phone, food, electricity and water. It is actually a lot of money. And I don't think most au pairs just see their $200 and forget about the other expenses. I would be happy to pay our au pair more if she wanted to buy her own food, pay for her own cell phone, gym, etc. But they want their cake and to eat it too.

This. Our first two au pairs worked 40-45h every week.

[Anonymous]

Yeah this program sounds like a really great opportunity for both APs and host families.

[Anonymous]

It is a volunteer program. Neither side has to participate.

[Anonymous]

The 45 hours and stipend amount is made abundantly clear to au pairs when they sign up. Then it is made clear again during the interview process.

I get that it's not that much money, but if I had my rent and food, gas, cell phone paid for, $200 for just spending money isn't bad.

The program is meant to be an EXCHANGE. Not a profitable venture for these girls. If they want to make real money, they should go and find a different job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The 45 hours and stipend amount is made abundantly clear to au pairs when they sign up. Then it is made clear again during the interview process.

I get that it's not that much money, but if I had my rent and food, gas, cell phone paid for, $200 for just spending money isn't bad.

The program is meant to be an EXCHANGE. Not a profitable venture for these girls. If they want to make real money, they should go and find a different job.

That there is a cap is abundantly clear. Tons of families use far fewer hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If they don't like working the 45 hours for the $200 stipend, then they shouldn't have joined the program in the first place. Au pairs do not understand that families have paid $9,000 in program fees to the agency, pay for gas, car insurance, cell phone, food, electricity and water. It is actually a lot of money. And I don't think most au pairs just see their $200 and forget about the other expenses. I would be happy to pay our au pair more if she wanted to buy her own food, pay for her own cell phone, gym, etc. But they want their cake and to eat it too.

We do much of this (let AP pay for her own gym, gas etc out of a much higher stipend). There’s nothing stopping you...

[Anonymous]

I pay my AP $200 for 45 hours. Her perk is freedom. She has no responsibility to me after after 3:30pm when i get home from teaching, or on weekends. If there is a snow day, I am home, so she gets the day off. I have loved all my 4 APs.

I know many Host Moms are total b*tches, because other APs gather at my house and talk about them

[Anonymous]

"She's not an employee, that's why she doesn't have a salary. She gets a generous $200 stipend (to be at our beck and call) and we let her eat food from our fridge." AND "She's here to work!" - The same people. And there is absolutely no reason the au pair should care about the fee you pay to the agency. The money goes to the agency, not the au pair. That was a financial decision you made.

[Anonymous]

1) Making them work weekends because they take their kid to a daycare

So the AP is off during the week and they have to work weekends? I don't see the issue here. 1)That would have been agreed upon before the AP came. 2)Most young people work weekends. If you are 21 years old, do you have an office 9-5 job Monday-Friday job? Not likely. Chances are you are working in the mall at a store, working at a restaurant etc.


2) Maxing out their hours (45) when they know they only make $200 a week pre tax

They signed up to work 45 hours a week. And yes, they only make $200 in stipend but that is all spending money. Let's do some math.

A person living in this area, living in a shared home would be spending per month -

$600 in rent (and this is cheap)
$100 in utilities
$240 in food (that is $8 about a day)
$60 for a cell phone
$100 (car insurance, car maintenance)
$20 for small household goods like toilet paper, trash bags, laundry soap etc

Total = $1,120

1,120 x 12 = $13,440 per year

$200 (weekly AP stipend) X 52 weeks = $10,400

$10,400 + $13,440 = $23,840

$23,840 a year is what the AP is really "making" if you want to get right down to it. Is that a lot of money? No, it's not, but how much were they making in the home country? And how hard where they working for the money? There also other factors, like the $500 towards schooling, paid holidays off etc... I'd say when you consider all of that my number should be more like $25,500. A first year teacher in Montana makes $30,000.


5) Charging au pairs for using the car.


Making an AP pay for their own gas is not charging them. And while I've not done this myself, I think it is perfectly reasonable to ask for an Au Pair to pay for an oil change if they are the ones driving the car all the time for personal use. I know an AP who is the only driver of the car her family lets her use. She drives this car from VA to PA literally every week. She does this on her free time. She should pay for some of the basic maintenance on this car IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The 45 hours and stipend amount is made abundantly clear to au pairs when they sign up. Then it is made clear again during the interview process.

I get that it's not that much money, but if I had my rent and food, gas, cell phone paid for, $200 for just spending money isn't bad.

The program is meant to be an EXCHANGE. Not a profitable venture for these girls. If they want to make real money, they should go and find a different job.

This! When I was 20, I was a starving student. I worked, paid my rent, paid for my food, paid for electricity, phone line (no cell phones back then), etc. Having an extra $500/month to just go out and have fun would have been a dream.

[Anonymous]

OP

I get that their expenses are paid for and that they signed up for 45 hrs max but that’s the max and every family takes advantage of it. It should not be the standard. If I had an au pair I would think about my situation and see what makes sense for me. I’m not going to force an au pair to play with my kid on a sat evening just so I can make sure they fulfill the 45 hr cap. They come here for an experience and to help out a family but it seems like folks in DC are too selfish. Put yourself in their shoes and look at it from a different perspective. Also the $200 stipend is not generous, thats based off min wage. Min wage is NOT generous and most of these au pairs are providing a service that would cost you all thousands every month in daycare costs so you are the ones that are truely benefitting.