Would this make you feel some type of way?

[Anonymous]

I have been having what seems like non-stop issues with this family for the last 3 months after some changes in my personal life occurred and caused me to adjust my schedule; I NEVER had any issues with them and they’ve NEVER had any issues or discussions with me about performance, being reliable, etc prior to my adjustment. I have been with them since their daughter was 6 months old and she just turned 3. Since my changes, the family has been off, complaining and I even detect attitudes- mainly from the mom. One day she is acting nice and talkative and then the next day she barely speaks. We were professional, respectful and overall had a great relationship. They have no family in the area, so I was the person they leaned on for extra hands outside of contract hours. I’ve spent the night over their house so they could spend extra time out (no overnight fee) and their daughter has been to my home on a few occasions. When their daughters first bday was approaching, we talked about it and I was asked to come and I did. Her second bday, we talked about it prior to and they were leaning to not doing anything and they didn’t. Now her third bday has come and I didn’t hear one word about it until yesterday and this is what she said “I sent out invitations for Larla’s bday party and just noticed I left you off- I’ll add you.” Now, I don’t know if it bothers me that she forgot to invite me, someone who has cared for their daughter for almost 3 years or that she TOLD me that she forgot me. It came across as “I didn’t invite you but you can come.” I honestly feel like the only reason she even texted me because I am babysitting this weekend and those kids I’m watching, were invited and their parents won’t be around to take them (I’m not for sure because I still don’t know when her bday party is or where).

Would this bother you? I’m only with them until school starts in the fall, so I just suck it up but it’s so unfortunate that our relationship has gone down the drain and for what? I didn’t do anything to them, they still go to work and their daughter is in good hands when they are not around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been having what seems like non-stop issues with this family for the last 3 months after some changes in my personal life occurred and caused me to adjust my schedule; I NEVER had any issues with them and they’ve NEVER had any issues or discussions with me about performance, being reliable, etc prior to my adjustment. I have been with them since their daughter was 6 months old and she just turned 3. Since my changes, the family has been off, complaining and I even detect attitudes- mainly from the mom. One day she is acting nice and talkative and then the next day she barely speaks. We were professional, respectful and overall had a great relationship. They have no family in the area, so I was the person they leaned on for extra hands outside of contract hours. I’ve spent the night over their house so they could spend extra time out (no overnight fee) and their daughter has been to my home on a few occasions. When their daughters first bday was approaching, we talked about it and I was asked to come and I did. Her second bday, we talked about it prior to and they were leaning to not doing anything and they didn’t. Now her third bday has come and I didn’t hear one word about it until yesterday and this is what she said “I sent out invitations for Larla’s bday party and just noticed I left you off- I’ll add you.” Now, I don’t know if it bothers me that she forgot to invite me, someone who has cared for their daughter for almost 3 years or that she TOLD me that she forgot me. It came across as “I didn’t invite you but you can come.” I honestly feel like the only reason she even texted me because I am babysitting this weekend and those kids I’m watching, were invited and their parents won’t be around to take them (I’m not for sure because I still don’t know when her bday party is or where).

Would this bother you? I’m only with them until school starts in the fall, so I just suck it up but it’s so unfortunate that our relationship has gone down the drain and for what? I didn’t do anything to them, they still go to work and their daughter is in good hands when they are not around.

The invitations were sent out a week ago.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like your employer is starting to emotionally separate from you. Don’t take it to heart, OP. Go to the party and celebrate your charge’s Birthday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like your employer is starting to emotionally separate from you. Don’t take it to heart, OP. Go to the party and celebrate your charge’s Birthday.

Is that what that is?! I just think her behavior is immature and unnecessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like your employer is starting to emotionally separate from you. Don’t take it to heart, OP. Go to the party and celebrate your charge’s Birthday.

Is that what that is?! I just think her behavior is immature and unnecessary.

True but part of an insecure person’s nature. Trying to make the end not hurt.

Remember you are in this for your charge. I agree that you should go to the party for the child’s sake and be happy.

[Anonymous]

I’ve been with my nanny family 7 years and three times the mom forgot to invite me and told me later. No big deal, I was invited later. This year she forgot to invite the Dad!! It’s not something to get upset about, I’d move on and preserve your reference.

[Anonymous]

What were the changes? Do you still work the same hours you were hired for but can no longer accommodate any additional hours? Is the reason for no longer being able to accommodate their additional needs ‘valid’ (not just that you want to spend more time with your new fiancé or something)? My bosses don’t need too much in addition to my set schedule and have a couple people for backup, but if I could never accommodate their additional needs then that would not work well for them.

Why are you leaving in the fall; because your charge will be in school full time? Could your boss think that you are being vindictive and not covering her additional needs any longer?

Be direct and say that you’re getting a vibe that she isn’t happy with you and wait to see what she says. Do so formally; at the beginning of the week tell her that you’d like to speak with her when she has a moment to sit and chat. Don’t ask on a way that can be easily brushed aside.

Also, why do you work for free? If you don’t respect your time and value your worth, why would you assume someone else would?

[Anonymous]

What was the new schedule that you had to adjust to? What were the personal reasons? I’m just asking bc as a PP mentioned, if you can’t work the hours you agreed upon, that might be tough i them. In addition you say personal problem so is it really a valid problem? Or you just not Wanting to work the agreed upon schedule?

[Anonymous]

Op here. I dropped one day and they found coverage for that day- I still work my same hours (10.5) minutes that one day. I am pregnant and my first born died 3 days after birth and was premature. I am pregnant now and am high risk and have to see a specialist throughout my pregnancy. She was aware of my situation prior to me getting pregnant (this happened almost 9 years ago) through our conversation about her fertility issues. I’m also in a share (2 other children) and I was very fair, letting them know if they preferred to have 1 person all week, I completely understood. The other family wanted to work with me and we had our own conversation privately and they wanted to keep me on until I was ready to end our time together and we agreed on a date.

Without going into so much details because it’s a lengthy list of issues on their part because I’ve done nothing differently (which may be hard for their readers to know if it was done intentionally), this family has just been nasty and I think the bday situations was just the icing on the cake- and to now see the invitations were sent ELECTRONICALLY (she just sent it this am and like I thought the party is tomorrow).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I dropped one day and they found coverage for that day- I still work my same hours (10.5) minutes that one day. I am pregnant and my first born died 3 days after birth and was premature. I am pregnant now and am high risk and have to see a specialist throughout my pregnancy. She was aware of my situation prior to me getting pregnant (this happened almost 9 years ago) through our conversation about her fertility issues. I’m also in a share (2 other children) and I was very fair, letting them know if they preferred to have 1 person all week, I completely understood. The other family wanted to work with me and we had our own conversation privately and they wanted to keep me on until I was ready to end our time together and we agreed on a date.

Without going into so much details because it’s a lengthy list of issues on their part because I’ve done nothing differently (which may be hard for their readers to know if it was done intentionally), this family has just been nasty and I think the bday situations was just the icing on the cake- and to now see the invitations were sent ELECTRONICALLY (she just sent it this am and like I thought the party is tomorrow).

*minus

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What were the changes? Do you still work the same hours you were hired for but can no longer accommodate any additional hours? Is the reason for no longer being able to accommodate their additional needs ‘valid’ (not just that you want to spend more time with your new fiancé or something)? My bosses don’t need too much in addition to my set schedule and have a couple people for backup, but if I could never accommodate their additional needs then that would not work well for them.

Why are you leaving in the fall; because your charge will be in school full time? Could your boss think that you are being vindictive and not covering her additional needs any longer?

Be direct and say that you’re getting a vibe that she isn’t happy with you and wait to see what she says. Do so formally; at the beginning of the week tell her that you’d like to speak with her when she has a moment to sit and chat. Don’t ask on a way that can be easily brushed aside.

Also, why do you work for free? If you don’t respect your time and value your worth, why would you assume someone else would?

Ok just because I didn’t charge them an overnight fee, doesn’t mean I deserve to be treated like shit, #1. #2, the child sleeps through the night and so did I- I make a decent living and not just because of our arrangement. #3 as mentioned, we had a pretty great relationship and we have BOTH done things out of the kindness of our hearts and money wasn’t an issue.

I don’t care if I had a week left on the job, I wouldn’t just neglect my work and my schedule change was in effect before I knew she was going to school, full-time or part-time (they don’t share anything with me anymore and I find out everything by the other family). I am leaving in the fall because I want to take care of my own child and don’t want to commute any longer, once he arrives- I do not live close and while I know others do it, I don’t want to be 1.5-2hrs away from my kid, when I don’t have to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I dropped one day and they found coverage for that day- I still work my same hours (10.5) minutes that one day. I am pregnant and my first born died 3 days after birth and was premature. I am pregnant now and am high risk and have to see a specialist throughout my pregnancy. She was aware of my situation prior to me getting pregnant (this happened almost 9 years ago) through our conversation about her fertility issues. I’m also in a share (2 other children) and I was very fair, letting them know if they preferred to have 1 person all week, I completely understood. The other family wanted to work with me and we had our own conversation privately and they wanted to keep me on until I was ready to end our time together and we agreed on a date.

Without going into so much details because it’s a lengthy list of issues on their part because I’ve done nothing differently (which may be hard for their readers to know if it was done intentionally), this family has just been nasty and I think the bday situations was just the icing on the cake- and to now see the invitations were sent ELECTRONICALLY (she just sent it this am and like I thought the party is tomorrow).

*minus

Sorry, op. Do you know if she wants more children? It’s no excuse for the behavior that you’ve explained, especially after losing a child, but she could be feeling resentment towards you if unable to conceive. Try to hang in there and continue doing your job, it seems you don’t have that much longer. Wishing you a successful pregnancy and a healthy baby!

-MB

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like your employer is starting to emotionally separate from you. Don’t take it to heart, OP. Go to the party and celebrate your charge’s Birthday.

Is that what that is?! I just think her behavior is immature and unnecessary.

Start looking for a new job because why do you
want to work for someone who is immature and is intentionally thoughtless? Your first mistake was in not just allowing, but actively encouraging, job creep. Learn from this experience and do not repeat in next job!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I dropped one day and they found coverage for that day- I still work my same hours (10.5) minutes that one day. I am pregnant and my first born died 3 days after birth and was premature. I am pregnant now and am high risk and have to see a specialist throughout my pregnancy. She was aware of my situation prior to me getting pregnant (this happened almost 9 years ago) through our conversation about her fertility issues. I’m also in a share (2 other children) and I was very fair, letting them know if they preferred to have 1 person all week, I completely understood. The other family wanted to work with me and we had our own conversation privately and they wanted to keep me on until I was ready to end our time together and we agreed on a date.

Without going into so much details because it’s a lengthy list of issues on their part because I’ve done nothing differently (which may be hard for their readers to know if it was done intentionally), this family has just been nasty and I think the bday situations was just the icing on the cake- and to now see the invitations were sent ELECTRONICALLY (she just sent it this am and like I thought the party is tomorrow).

*minus

Sorry, op. Do you know if she wants more children? It’s no excuse for the behavior that you’ve explained, especially after losing a child, but she could be feeling resentment towards you if unable to conceive. Try to hang in there and continue doing your job, it seems you don’t have that much longer. Wishing you a successful pregnancy and a healthy baby!

Thank you

-MB