Going into rematch - tips for keeping it as positive as possible?
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Anonymous
| Hi all, I am initiating rematch for reliability/safety reasons. First timer. Would welcome tips for keeping it positive and anything you wish you had known or done differently (we are with Cultural Care). Thank you. |
Anonymous
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Don't be surprised if CCAP frames the safety issue as a "mismatch in expectations"...
In terms of staying positive, just keep in mind that rematch is very hard....make sure the kids know that the AP is not leaving because of something they did (sometimes the kids may internalize it and blame themselves). Make sure you are super clear with AP during the 2 week period what the expectations are. since it's a safety issue, I assume she is no longer working....make it clear--will she be permitted to use the car, have a phone, etc? Make sure that she is still nice to the kids (our rematch AP would completely ignore my 3 year old daughter until I told the AP ithat if she's not happy that she's in our home then she needs to learn how to fake it in front of the child). |
Anonymous
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Document issues in writing and how you tried to improve things. Get written acknowledgement of CCAP of issues. First and foremost protect yourself and family.
Be prepared to answer whether AP will have access to car (recommend no) or phone (consider limiting to WiFi only plus phone, no data). Consider whether you’ll agree to house for a few days beyond required two weeks (you don’t have to). If truly a safety issue do you want her working? You may want to talk to your LCC in advance to understand what decisions you’ll be asked to make during exit meeting. With respect to your au pair, be polite but stand your ground. Don’t let agency guilt you or push you around. Good luck! And remember that sometimes out or country candidates are better choices than what’s in the rematch pool if you can wait for overseas AP arrival. |
Anonymous
+1000. We were pressured to get a rematch candidate but we stood our ground and went with an out of country candidate. if your timing permits, go with this option. |
Anonymous
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This is a good time of year because the college students are home, so you might be able to fill the gap that way while you wait for an OOC au pair if you go that route.
If you decide to match w/a rematch au pair, make sure you talk to AP, HF, and LCC to really understand reasons for rematch. We have gotten good rematch au pairs. It is definitely possible. If you are contacted by a prospective HF about your AP (assuming she’s allowed to rematch), be as factual as possible about her strengths and weaknesses. Don’t vent to a prospective HF; save that for your friends. |
Anonymous
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Thanks very much, this is OP. For documenting in writing, should I write it up and give it to the LCC during the support meeting or can I email it to her ahead of time? When do we create the language for the transition document - is that at the support meeting or later? Our meeting is tomorrow.
I have documentation for things I consider not real issues at this point, do I share those. Texts from AP to help her find other work. work |
Anonymous
| The agency prepares the transition document if they recommend the au pair for rematch (which they usually do). |
Anonymous
Regardless of how explicit you are at the support meeting, the language for the transition document is prepared by the agency You May get a call from the program director, but safety issues are rarely written to capture what actually happened |
Anonymous
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Send it ALL in writing and keep copies for yourself. Include exchange about looking for work (violates program rules). Know that CCAP may treat you like crap and assume it’s your fault no matter what because you didn’t make expectations clear, didn’t give a chance to improve, etc. Going straight to rematch isn’t supposed to be allowed so definitely have the support meeting but DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT everything. If your LCC responds by phone, send back an email capturing what she said to you. “In our call, you agreed that XYZ is a safety issue and we are appropriately seeking rematch to ensure safety of our child....”
Think of CCAP as an entity that will throw you under the bus if they see fit (even if LCC seems great) so get your evidence in place to be able to present your side clearly. And then KEEP IT because if you have a later rematch, it will Ben important to document why your first was an AP issue and not host family. CCAP was horrible to us, which is why I suggest this all! |
Anonymous
I am not with CCAP and never been in rematch, but I keep hearing these horror stories about rematch with ccap, so I am just trying to understand: what happens if HF doesn't document all of this? worst case scenario, ccap says it is her fault, what happens next time she go into rematch? does she get thrown out the program? if yes does she lose money? can she just move to another agency? what I am missing? Thanks |
Anonymous
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Make a checklist of everything that needs to be done by the time she leaves, such as:
-Room cleaned and trash thrown away -Turning off any cell phone or transferring cell phone charges -Taking back the house key Etc. Go over the list with her and make sure everything is complete before giving her the final paycheck. |
Anonymous
CCAP doesn’t like rematches. Presumably it costs them too much. And yes, the family can absolutely be pushed out (or leave CCAP after being treated like crap) and lose money. Lots of stories out there about families who’ve rematched more than once being treated like THE FAMILY is the problem, not the (1) au pair who forgot to pick up children repeatedly or (2) the au pair who kept damaging the car and lying about it or (3) the au pair who was repeatedly caught drinking and smoking while family was out of town or..... CCAP writes these up as “mismatch in expectations” or “different communication styles” or “au pair is remorseful” (yeah, remorseful that she got caught) and “is committed to doing better with her next family” (doing better at keeping anyone from finding out your secrets?). Ugh. CCAP is NOT an agency I would recommend to ANYONE. |
Anonymous
You can find rematch horror stories for all agencies. The bigger the agency, the more horror stories. "what happens if HF doesn't document all of this?" AP gets send into rematch over "mismatch in expectations", finds another family, is a safety issue for family #2, ends up in rematch again, finds another family, is a saftey issue for family #3, gets send home. AP gets send into rematch over "mismatch in expectations", finds another family, the safety issue is not an issue for family #2 (because of different expectations, because they don't require infant care, because they don't need AP to drive, because they don't care ec), she completes her year and everybody is happy. AP gets send into rematch over "mismatch in expectations", AP doesn't find another family, AP goes home (paid by herself or, if she is lucky, the agency). HF doesn't document, has decent matches with the next 5, 8, 10 APs and nobody cares about the one rematch HF had. HF doesn't document, has multiple rematches over "mismatch in expectations" (cf. PP), HF risks being kicked out of the program with agency X and has to switch to agency Y (who will not care that HF had multiple previous rematches). HF documents, has multiple rematches over "mismatch in expectations" (cf. PP), and still gets kicked out by agency X because they don't care that HF documented (or because somebody indeed thinks HF is the problem and not the APs). "worst case scenario, ccap says it is her fault, what happens next time she go into rematch?" APs fault? They usually let them (try to) rematch twice. I don't think I have heard many stories about APs rematching more than twice (unless extension is involved or there were extraordinary circumstances). If AP can't find a family in rematch she gets send home (flight paid by herself or agency). "does she get thrown out the program?" Possibly. Eventually. Depending on the reason of the rematch she might get thrown out of the program after the first problem / during the first rematch or later. "if yes does she lose money?" Depends on the situation. AP will be out of the program fees she had to pay (which can be, depending on country of origin, anything between a few hundred and a few thousand dollars). If she was in the US long enough she might have earned enough money to cover those (for some APs it might be as little as a month of stipends, for others multiple months). If she is lucky and the agency pays for her return flight and has been in the US for multiple months she might not lose money. If the agency does not pay for her return flight and she has not been in the US for long enough to cover all fees occurred before coming over then yes, she will lose money. "can she just move to another agency?" APs are stuck with the agency that sponsored their visa. Unlike the HF they cannot switch from agency X to agency Y. Unless they leave in their extension year and have successfully completed their first year they will also not be able to repeat their experience through a different agency. If they end their year early they are out. |
Anonymous
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FWIW, we went into rematch and CCAP strangely pushed us to go with an out of country candidate. We did, hiring a nanny in the interim while we waited. Six weeks later, the new au pair showed up and promptly asked for rematch after 1 week (she then rematched with the next family after 2 more weeks and went home). We then went with a rematch candidate who was great.
The point is, out of country candidates aren't necessarily better (btw, we've been with CCAP for seven years and these were the only two rematches we've ever had). |