How long did it take you to stop missing a former charge?

[Anonymous]

The parents were ugly, petty little people but my former charge was wonderful. I was his nanny for three years, since the day he was born. I love him. His parents will not allow me to visit him. I never even had the chance to say goodbye. I still miss him so much.

Please don’t tell me to “move on”. I have moved on to a great job with better pay and much better benefits. I love my new little charge and truly respect and like her parents. I am living a good life. But I just miss him.

How long can I expect this sadness to last?

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

I am sorry to hear you couldn't say goodbye. That is awful! I feel that over time it gets easier but the ones your really have a connection & love for you will always miss. At least that's how it is for me. It's been 10 months of no longer being their nanny after a little over 5 years. & I get to see the kiddos 1 to 3 times month. I still think about them daily & love them with all my heart.

[Anonymous]

For many of us, there's no "moving on" from certain situations. It is what it is. There's no denying the truth. The self-obsorbed parents will pay for their evil selfishness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For many of us, there's no "moving on" from certain situations. It is what it is. There's no denying the truth. The self-obsorbed parents will pay for their evil selfishness.

They are the parents, not you. For you, this is a job. Most people don't keep up with childhood caretakers. Did you keep up with your babysitter, nanny, teacher, etc. from your child hood. I couldn't remember my nanny when she'd come to visit years late and it was very uncomfortable for me. My bond was with my parents not a caretaker.

[Anonymous]

My charge right now is awful and I will be dancing my way to the car on my last day and I will hopefully never spend one second thinking about my charge again after that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For many of us, there's no "moving on" from certain situations. It is what it is. There's no denying the truth. The self-obsorbed parents will pay for their evil selfishness.

They are the parents, not you. For you, this is a job. Most people don't keep up with childhood caretakers. Did you keep up with your babysitter, nanny, teacher, etc. from your child hood. I couldn't remember my nanny when she'd come to visit years late and it was very uncomfortable for me. My bond was with my parents not a caretaker.

Yes, you have posted this about 230 times.

OP is asking when she will get over missing her former charge. I doubt she is interested in your tired tale.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For many of us, there's no "moving on" from certain situations. It is what it is. There's no denying the truth. The self-obsorbed parents will pay for their evil selfishness.

They are the parents, not you. For you, this is a job. Most people don't keep up with childhood caretakers. Did you keep up with your babysitter, nanny, teacher, etc. from your child hood. I couldn't remember my nanny when she'd come to visit years late and it was very uncomfortable for me. My bond was with my parents not a caretaker.

Yes, you have posted this about 230 times.

OP is asking when she will get over missing her former charge. I doubt she is interested in your tired tale.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

I was with my previous charges for 2.5 years. 2 girls. I see them a couple times a year and I miss them everyday. They brought such joy to my life.

[Anonymous]

Never. Once a child touches your heart, you never forget them.

That doesn’t mean that it won’t stop hurting as much. It’s part of the reason I prefer working with children who are past early toddlerhood. I know that they’re allowed to call me when they want to see me, so if I’m not getting calls, it’s easier for me to rationalize that it would be more detrimental to everyone to call them.

[Anonymous]

I cannot believe the parents never gave you the opportunity to say a proper Goodbye to your charge.

That is arrogant + self-absorbed of them!
They are putting their petty pride before what is best for their child and that is very sad.

While sad - I would just try to move on in my heart.
You will always love this child, but w/time the pain will lessen.

Similar to grieving the loss of anyone in your life.
Wish him the best in your heart & soul and know that you played an excellent part in his life.
Keep reminding yourself that.

The impact was very positive.

~ Wishing you all the best ~

[Anonymous]

The same way you get over the death of a loved one. He is dead to you and you need grief counselling to help you. Good luck.

Write a letter to the parents asking if you can see him one last time to say good bye and mail a copy of the letter to yourself so that if you ever see him again, you can show him that you tried.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The same way you get over the death of a loved one. He is dead to you and you need grief counselling to help you. Good luck.

Write a letter to the parents asking if you can see him one last time to say good bye and mail a copy of the letter to yourself so that if you ever see him again, you can show him that you tried.

I don't feel my former charges are dead to me at all. I pray for their success in life, sometimes (unfortunately) in spite of their selfish parents. Those are the children who need the most help. At this time, prayers are the only thing available. I hope that some day the parents will beg for God's forgiveness for the damage they did to their child. So sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For many of us, there's no "moving on" from certain situations. It is what it is. There's no denying the truth. The self-obsorbed parents will pay for their evil selfishness.

You sound unhinged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The same way you get over the death of a loved one. He is dead to you and you need grief counselling to help you. Good luck.

Write a letter to the parents asking if you can see him one last time to say good bye and mail a copy of the letter to yourself so that if you ever see him again, you can show him that you tried.

OMG. Please stop being a nanny. Your lack of boundaries is FRIGHTENING. A charge is DEAD to someone once a job ends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For many of us, there's no "moving on" from certain situations. It is what it is. There's no denying the truth. The self-obsorbed parents will pay for their evil selfishness.

They are the parents, not you. For you, this is a job. Most people don't keep up with childhood caretakers. Did you keep up with your babysitter, nanny, teacher, etc. from your child hood. I couldn't remember my nanny when she'd come to visit years late and it was very uncomfortable for me. My bond was with my parents not a caretaker.

How do you bond with people you hardly see? Or when you do see them, it's a few moments of "quality time" at dinner (if that) and crazy busy weekends? Sometimes real bonding is hours and hours of unrushed time together, year after year.