Ugh!

[Anonymous]

Every week the parents keep talking about their daughters nap and it’s annoying because I’m not the one causing the issue. I’ve been consistent with their naps from when I started (6 months old) until they added a 3rd to the share; we had to adjust the schedule when he joined but everyone goes down at the same time, including the infant, for his last nap. She goes down at the same time each time I’m with her and I wake her up at the same time, with her only getting 1-1.5 hours of sleep. The parents are constantly changing her nap time when she’s with them, one minute they’re telling me “oh, she’s been going down early at 12/12:30” and then it’s “yeah, she’s been going down at 1:30 this week with us.” Why? Because it’s convenient for you? That’s not how sleep training goes- is it even considered sleep training at this old?! She will be 3 in a month and still doesn’t sleep through the night and one of her parents sleep with her. I was telling them before the baby came that we need to work together and get her on a schedule, I was ignored, and now they’re paying for it because they have 2 children not sleeping through the night. I don’t even know what to say but I’m tired of them keep talking about it (as if it’s me) and I just want to yell “ITS YALL! YOU’RE THE ONES WHO ARE MESSING IT UP FOR HER!”

This is really a rant but anyone else have or had this problem (or something similar)? Any suggestions? I feel like now they’re rushing to get her on track- even with potty training which they just throw her in underwear (not consistent with that either) and expect for her to be potty trained. Myself and the other child’s parents potty trained her before she was 2.5 and you would think the other family would have been on board since they’re children are the same age and together all week, but that’s a different topic for another day.

[Anonymous]

I would just continue what you’ve been doing. As for potty training, the parents don’t care because it’s easier to slap a diaper on. Hang in there!

[Anonymous]

Are they just complaining/venting? Or are they actually saying or implying that they want you to fix this problem or that you are the problem?

If they are just complaining, then I would assume that they probably already know what the problem is and they have a right to complain because it is a crappy situation to have two kids who are not sleeping through the night. They probably know that it is their own fault, but they are allowed to complain about that anyway. Some people just like to complain.

If you feel that they are clearly trying to place the blame on you for their child’s sleep issues, then I would be very direct in addressing that. “I’m hearing that you are frustrated with the way Susan naps when she is with me and feel that it is contributing to her sleep problems overnight. Here is a log of her nap times with me for the last two weeks. If there is something you would like me to change on my end to support you, please let me know! I want to make sure that we are all working as a team and that I am supporting you as much as I can.“

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Are they just complaining/venting? Or are they actually saying or implying that they want you to fix this problem or that you are the problem?

If they are just complaining, then I would assume that they probably already know what the problem is and they have a right to complain because it is a crappy situation to have two kids who are not sleeping through the night. They probably know that it is their own fault, but they are allowed to complain about that anyway. Some people just like to complain.

If you feel that they are clearly trying to place the blame on you for their child’s sleep issues, then I would be very direct in addressing that. “I’m hearing that you are frustrated with the way Susan naps when she is with me and feel that it is contributing to her sleep problems overnight. Here is a log of her nap times with me for the last two weeks. If there is something you would like me to change on my end to support you, please let me know! I want to make sure that we are all working as a team and that I am supporting you as much as I can.“

Unfortunately, it’s a crappy situation that they put themselves in, so please complain to each other and not the nanny who has them on a schedule while they’re in her care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Are they just complaining/venting? Or are they actually saying or implying that they want you to fix this problem or that you are the problem?

If they are just complaining, then I would assume that they probably already know what the problem is and they have a right to complain because it is a crappy situation to have two kids who are not sleeping through the night. They probably know that it is their own fault, but they are allowed to complain about that anyway. Some people just like to complain.

If you feel that they are clearly trying to place the blame on you for their child’s sleep issues, then I would be very direct in addressing that. “I’m hearing that you are frustrated with the way Susan naps when she is with me and feel that it is contributing to her sleep problems overnight. Here is a log of her nap times with me for the last two weeks. If there is something you would like me to change on my end to support you, please let me know! I want to make sure that we are all working as a team and that I am supporting you as much as I can.“

Unfortunately, it’s a crappy situation that they put themselves in, so please complain to each other and not the nanny who has them on a schedule while they’re in her care.

Look, is it admirable that they are complaining? No. But as a nanny you will learn in time that everybody has their idiosyncrasies. Complaining about the result of their choices without fixing it is a pretty common one. Unless they are blaming the nanny for the situation, I don’t see the point in responding with anything other than a sympathetic nod and an inward shrug.