First time host family - not getting chosen

[Anonymous]

Hello! This is our first time doing the program we are currently working with two agencies- just trying to find the best Au pair- with both we will really connect with someone and want to match- they are between us and another family (what they say) and they choose the other family . This has happened 3 times and I’m wondering if this is normal , or if we are doing something wrong. I’m all about transparency, so I provide picture of the bedroom (they will be sharing a bathroom with the kids so not sure if that’s a deal breaker?). As well as a handbook that clearly outlines everything. We have two kids, one in school full time and one half days every day. I don’t feel our schedule is that crazy. The one thing we’ve noticed is it’s Au pairs who speak English very well this has happens with, our more proficient English speaking connections seem more interested in us, but I’m nervous the lack of English (we know a barrier is normal but some of these is very proficient ) would be hard for our 4 year old
To communicate with her? Or do others think this isn’t as big of a deal.
Thanks for any thoughts or assistance!

[Anonymous]

Do you have a car? Are you actually in the dc area? (Some posters aren’t)

Maybe the other families have three car households. Sometimes APs pick easy (2 full time school age kids) too.

You don’t want to get the AP who picked you as their second choice. They end up mediocre because they were never that excited about your family.

[Anonymous]

Where are you located?
The bathroom shouldnt be an issue as most au pairs have shared bathrooms at home.
Are you giving weekends off, do you provide a car?

[Anonymous]

We’re in Alexandria , so suburb of DC- but have a bus stop at the end of our street and metro is not far (but not walkable) we are providing a car for them to use . I agree I don’t want them to match if it’s not right and I know others for sure have a better offer, I just wasn’t sure if it was “normal” to get far with multiple Au pairs and not have them choose us.

[Anonymous]

Sorry this is OP (and previous post ) yes to weekends off, but we do mention one weekend a month potential date night for 3 hours. Our LCC told us to put “more” in and can take away but not add, but should we remove that? We easily have the hours and just thought it would be nice, but don’t want to scare people away!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry this is OP (and previous post ) yes to weekends off, but we do mention one weekend a month potential date night for 3 hours. Our LCC told us to put “more” in and can take away but not add, but should we remove that? We easily have the hours and just thought it would be nice, but don’t want to scare people away!

I think one date night a month is fine. and so is your transportation and car. Not sure why you not getting more au pairs interested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry this is OP (and previous post ) yes to weekends off, but we do mention one weekend a month potential date night for 3 hours. Our LCC told us to put “more” in and can take away but not add, but should we remove that? We easily have the hours and just thought it would be nice, but don’t want to scare people away!

I think one date night a month is fine. and so is your transportation and car. Not sure why you not getting more au pairs interested.

Thank you- I am not sure. We do have one potential Au pair who I really truly like- but her English level is not as advanced as others we’ve spoken to. I’m not sure if I’m “selling” my family enough, or what’s the balance -or if this was just part of the process.

[Anonymous]

It might be first time host family vs experienced host family. Many au pairs will pick a family that’s had previous au pairs over one that’s still figuring stuff out...

[Anonymous]

Other families may have more perks. Stick with what you are offering. The right match will come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It might be first time host family vs experienced host family. Many au pairs will pick a family that’s had previous au pairs over one that’s still figuring stuff out...

I’m not sure about this. I’m not sure they know or care.
First off I’d stop giving them the handbook. Leave that for later. And, do you emphasize the perks (car, evenings off, etc?). You don’t want to go overboard but make sure they know about those. But otherwise keep going. We also look for APs with good English so you’re not alone in that. It took us forever this year with CCAP but we did end up finding someone we’re excited about.

[Anonymous]

It is also about supply and demand. If you are going after au pairs that are really sought after you may lose out a lot. I think there are many terrific au pairs that are maybe not from Europe, or English not advanced but work out well and you can become a top choice for them. Our llc said not to get a Thai au pair b/c they cannot drive. With 4 kids we are not a top choice family. Anyway our Thai au pair has been excellent and a very safe driver. She is finishing her 2nd year with us. Maybe dig deeper with some of the applicants and keep an open mind. There are some gems out there that don't fit the "ideal" mold.

[Anonymous]

We always have a hard tomimr matching, despite being a multi-year hf and lots of perks, and live in NYC. We have 3 kids and I think that’s usually the issue, even though they’re all in school. A lot of potential au pairs don’t have a realistic idea of what to expect in their ap year.

[Anonymous]

I would revisit your profile photos.
Number one issue with profiles and new families is your photos may not be great.
We host male APs and female and always get top candidates.
2 school ages kids, ap has a car, private bath. We live in n Arlington, 15 minute walk to Clarendon metro.
A few families have asked us to help them with their profiles when they were struggling to match and every time the biggest change was their photos.

If you want an active/sporty ap you need good/cool pics of activities. One that can cook? Elegant meals you make. Etc.
Wasting photo space on a room or bath is a bad use of your profile.
That can wait until you hook them on your lifestyle. Most APs read very little, just look at the pics and want to skype.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where are you located?
The bathroom shouldnt be an issue as most au pairs have shared bathrooms at home.
Are you giving weekends off, do you provide a car?

Not usually the Noerhern Europeans, who also happen to be the grrst English speakers. Our last AP laws from Sweden, had a large 4br house, a swimming pool and his own car. He also slept in a king sized bed at home and mentioned how different it was sleeping in a Full.

FWIW, as someone who only picks Northern Europeans for language. Ediaction, and driving, it is very competitive to atEducation, we have an en suite bathroom, dedicated car, and treat the stipend as a minimum and make sure to always track hours and pay federal minimum wage. This seems to make it easier to get out pick of the candidates and have the choice when it comes to the pool of candidates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would revisit your profile photos.
Number one issue with profiles and new families is your photos may not be great.
We host male APs and female and always get top candidates.
2 school ages kids, ap has a car, private bath. We live in n Arlington, 15 minute walk to Clarendon metro.
A few families have asked us to help them with their profiles when they were struggling to match and every time the biggest change was their photos.

If you want an active/sporty ap you need good/cool pics of activities. One that can cook? Elegant meals you make. Etc.
Wasting photo space on a room or bath is a bad use of your profile.
That can wait until you hook them on your lifestyle. Most APs read very little, just look at the pics and want to skype.

OP here - thank you everyone for the feedback, I appreciate it! Also thank you for this specific information- updated our photos today!