Considering an au pair-need help understanding the current situation

[Anonymous]

My family is considering an au pair. I've read a little about the current situation with the settlement and am trying to get a bit more information about what it all means before we contact agencies. You all are always so wise and knowledgable I thought I would begin here!

In short, we are trying to determine whether having an au pair will be a possibility, or really, if there is any financial incentive to do so (if we will be paying minimum wage--which goes to $13.00/hr in MoCo this summer, I believe--with no deductions PLUS agency fees it is likely to be more expensive than having a nanny).

Our twins will be 2.5 (in nursery school half days) and the new baby would be about 4 months. We are in Montgomery County and would really only be likely to use 32-38 hours of care per week.

Can someone explain what seems to be happening related to stipends and whether I am missing something about the financial piece?

Thanks so very much.

[Anonymous]

Stipends are not changing. The only thing that is changing is that the agencies now have to tell prospective au pairs that they have the right to negotiate for higher wages. Federal rules allow you to deduct 40% for room and board.

We have an au pair as do many families in our neighborhood. We and they are not planning on increasing the weekly stipend. We are in high-rent areas so the lodging is already a big expense. We provide cell phone pre-paid plan, gym membership, subsidize some trips back home, allow use of car for personal stuff, and offer lots of vacation time. So we don't feel a need to increase the stipend unless we were to stop offering all of these extra perks.

[Anonymous]

Don't worry about the settlement. I got this from my agency yesterday:

"Dear Host Families,

For those of our Host Families who were aware of class action litigation brought in Federal court in Colorado contending that all State Department designated au pair programs were in fact ‘labor’ programs and therefore should be complying with all Federal, State and local wage and labor practices, I am pleased to let you know that a preliminary settlement has been reached negating this premise. This preliminary settlement concludes, in conjunction with the Department of State, that the au pair program is in fact an educational and cultural exchange program with parameters established currently by the Department of State, and are not subjected to government (US, State or local) employment practice law requirements, which are incompatible with those established by the Department of State.

The settlement, which should be final in June, does not in any way change the nature of the program, which has always been, and will continue to be, a program established for the purpose of furthering international understanding."

With that said, I am in a similar situation as you. toddler twins and newborn. My AP will only have the 3 of them for 2h/day and the newborn will almost be 10 months and twins almost 4. Just keep in mind that 3 kids of that age might be too much for an au pair. Make sure you get an older one with lot of experience with multiple children.

[Anonymous]

I would not have an AP with three kids that young. I wouldn't have an AP with an infant at all...and then adding two other kids? I think that's asking way too much.

[Anonymous]

I would wait until your youngest is at least 2. APs would be my last childcare option for younger than 2.
I probably would have quit my job instead of an ap.

We did full time daycare then went to AP when youngest was 4. It was over 60k a year, about the same as a nanny.

[Anonymous]

You will probably have to spend more to entice an older and more experienced candidate to consider your situation with three very young children. Personally, I don't recommend an AP for an infant plus two year old twins. Stick with a professional nanny until the older ones are in elementary school.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't let the lawsuit discourage you, or the nanny trolls that come on here to tell you not to use one.

Do your research and talk to the agencies and au pairs.
Talk to friends and join HF groups on Facebook with real HMs that can give better advice.

[Anonymous]

We have three kids and one of them is an infant. Our AP has been amazing and we would get an AP all over again if we were faced with the same decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have three kids and one of them is an infant. Our AP has been amazing and we would get an AP all over again if we were faced with the same decision.

I am the 1241 pp and I agree with this. There is someone here always posting to discourage HM to get an AP for infant and that is her opinion. My APs has a lot friends taking care of infants plus one or two older children and most of them are happy and some even extended with same family.

[Anonymous]

I was a single mom so had no option to quit my job. I got my first AP when my daughter was 13 months old. I offered no extras -- as a teacher i could not afford it. But I made very few demands, unlike many other hosts here. My AP (and 2 others) extended with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stipends are not changing. The only thing that is changing is that the agencies now have to tell prospective au pairs that they have the right to negotiate for higher wages. Federal rules allow you to deduct 40% for room and board.

We have an au pair as do many families in our neighborhood. We and they are not planning on increasing the weekly stipend. We are in high-rent areas so the lodging is already a big expense. We provide cell phone pre-paid plan, gym membership, subsidize some trips back home, allow use of car for personal stuff, and offer lots of vacation time. So we don't feel a need to increase the stipend unless we were to stop offering all of these extra perks.

Lodging is not any additional cost but some utilities. You'd have that house size regardless of if she is there or not or are you going to sell and downsize once you no longer need child care? You have some increased utilities, food, if she drives - car insurance, gas, possibly another car.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stipends are not changing. The only thing that is changing is that the agencies now have to tell prospective au pairs that they have the right to negotiate for higher wages. Federal rules allow you to deduct 40% for room and board.

We have an au pair as do many families in our neighborhood. We and they are not planning on increasing the weekly stipend. We are in high-rent areas so the lodging is already a big expense. We provide cell phone pre-paid plan, gym membership, subsidize some trips back home, allow use of car for personal stuff, and offer lots of vacation time. So we don't feel a need to increase the stipend unless we were to stop offering all of these extra perks.

Lodging is not any additional cost but some utilities. You'd have that house size regardless of if she is there or not or are you going to sell and downsize once you no longer need child care? You have some increased utilities, food, if she drives - car insurance, gas, possibly another car.

What are you talking about? I guess you don't live in DC Metro. My AP live in my renovated basement apartment with a separate entrance that i could rent for a good $800-1000/month. So yes, when I will be done with the AP program, I will probably rent my basement apartment and make some extra money!

[Anonymous]

We started with an au pair when DS was 4 months old and it was great!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stipends are not changing. The only thing that is changing is that the agencies now have to tell prospective au pairs that they have the right to negotiate for higher wages. Federal rules allow you to deduct 40% for room and board.

We have an au pair as do many families in our neighborhood. We and they are not planning on increasing the weekly stipend. We are in high-rent areas so the lodging is already a big expense. We provide cell phone pre-paid plan, gym membership, subsidize some trips back home, allow use of car for personal stuff, and offer lots of vacation time. So we don't feel a need to increase the stipend unless we were to stop offering all of these extra perks.

Lodging is not any additional cost but some utilities. You'd have that house size regardless of if she is there or not or are you going to sell and downsize once you no longer need child care? You have some increased utilities, food, if she drives - car insurance, gas, possibly another car.

What are you talking about? I guess you don't live in DC Metro. My AP live in my renovated basement apartment with a separate entrance that i could rent for a good $800-1000/month. So yes, when I will be done with the AP program, I will probably rent my basement apartment and make some extra money!

Yep, same. We would at minimum rent apartment for intern season and air bnb for big events.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have three kids and one of them is an infant. Our AP has been amazing and we would get an AP all over again if we were faced with the same decision.

I am the 1241 pp and I agree with this. There is someone here always posting to discourage HM to get an AP for infant and that is her opinion. My APs has a lot friends taking care of infants plus one or two older children and most of them are happy and some even extended with same family.

I have posted in the past that I would not have an AP with an infant. I should say we didn't start with the program until after ours were in school full-time. It's only my opinion--yours is equally valid. But as a longtime host moms, we've found that our APs did not meet the standard I would have wanted for my children before they could talk. Our APs have often taken the easiest way out, have lied about things, have talked on their phones during child care, and have been unable to handle more than the base level of care. I could deal with most of that when I knew my kids were basically able to fend for themselves and when they had words to tell me what was going on.

Now, we would have chosen much differently if we absolutely had to have an AP care for an infant. And I'm sure there are plenty of candidates who provide excellent care. But no way I would have trusted a few of mine to watch an infant and two toddlers. No freaking way.