Considering an au pair-need help understanding the current situation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have three kids and one of them is an infant. Our AP has been amazing and we would get an AP all over again if we were faced with the same decision.

I am the 1241 pp and I agree with this. There is someone here always posting to discourage HM to get an AP for infant and that is her opinion. My APs has a lot friends taking care of infants plus one or two older children and most of them are happy and some even extended with same family.

I have posted in the past that I would not have an AP with an infant. I should say we didn't start with the program until after ours were in school full-time. It's only my opinion--yours is equally valid. But as a longtime host moms, we've found that our APs did not meet the standard I would have wanted for my children before they could talk. Our APs have often taken the easiest way out, have lied about things, have talked on their phones during child care, and have been unable to handle more than the base level of care. I could deal with most of that when I knew my kids were basically able to fend for themselves and when they had words to tell me what was going on.

Now, we would have chosen much differently if we absolutely had to have an AP care for an infant. And I'm sure there are plenty of candidates who provide excellent care. But no way I would have trusted a few of mine to watch an infant and two toddlers. No freaking way.

I am PP and yes your opinion is valid, I am also sure that you would have vetted for better candidates if you wanted them to take care of an infant. I am with Aupaircare, they offer an additional class for infant specialized APs that the family can make their AP take for some extra $$$. My point is they are great APs out there who would take care great care of infant, you just need to find them. I think it all depends of your conform level, I know some moms who don't trust daycare, or home daycare or even nannies, they rather take care of their infant them self.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have three kids and one of them is an infant. Our AP has been amazing and we would get an AP all over again if we were faced with the same decision.

I am the 1241 pp and I agree with this. There is someone here always posting to discourage HM to get an AP for infant and that is her opinion. My APs has a lot friends taking care of infants plus one or two older children and most of them are happy and some even extended with same family.

I have posted in the past that I would not have an AP with an infant. I should say we didn't start with the program until after ours were in school full-time. It's only my opinion--yours is equally valid. But as a longtime host moms, we've found that our APs did not meet the standard I would have wanted for my children before they could talk. Our APs have often taken the easiest way out, have lied about things, have talked on their phones during child care, and have been unable to handle more than the base level of care. I could deal with most of that when I knew my kids were basically able to fend for themselves and when they had words to tell me what was going on.

Now, we would have chosen much differently if we absolutely had to have an AP care for an infant. And I'm sure there are plenty of candidates who provide excellent care. But no way I would have trusted a few of mine to watch an infant and two toddlers. No freaking way.

This is laughable. We had one and had to rematch. She really had no clue what to do with an infant and I had no patience to train her because we expected someone who actually had experience with infants given the “specialization”

I am PP and yes your opinion is valid, I am also sure that you would have vetted for better candidates if you wanted them to take care of an infant. I am with Aupaircare, they offer an additional class for infant specialized APs that the family can make their AP take for some extra $$$. My point is they are great APs out there who would take care great care of infant, you just need to find them. I think it all depends of your conform level, I know some moms who don't trust daycare, or home daycare or even nannies, they rather take care of their infant them self.

[Anonymous]

This is laughable. We had one and had to rematch. She really had no clue what to do with an infant and I had no patience to train her because we expected someone who actually had experience with infants given the “specialization”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is laughable. We had one and had to rematch. She really had no clue what to do with an infant and I had no patience to train her because we expected someone who actually had experience with infants given the “specialization”

Just take a quick read of the other post where the AP doesn’t know it’s not ok for infants to put legos in their mouths.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stipends are not changing. The only thing that is changing is that the agencies now have to tell prospective au pairs that they have the right to negotiate for higher wages. Federal rules allow you to deduct 40% for room and board.

We have an au pair as do many families in our neighborhood. We and they are not planning on increasing the weekly stipend. We are in high-rent areas so the lodging is already a big expense. We provide cell phone pre-paid plan, gym membership, subsidize some trips back home, allow use of car for personal stuff, and offer lots of vacation time. So we don't feel a need to increase the stipend unless we were to stop offering all of these extra perks.

Lodging is not any additional cost but some utilities. You'd have that house size regardless of if she is there or not or are you going to sell and downsize once you no longer need child care? You have some increased utilities, food, if she drives - car insurance, gas, possibly another car.

What are you talking about? I guess you don't live in DC Metro. My AP live in my renovated basement apartment with a separate entrance that i could rent for a good $800-1000/month. So yes, when I will be done with the AP program, I will probably rent my basement apartment and make some extra money!

Then, rent out your apartment. That logic doesn't make sense as it doesn't cost you more to have her there as you are not renting out the apartment and you could give her an upstairs room. So, no it doesn't cost you more as you are not renting space for her.

[Anonymous]

I also would not try to hire an AP with your particular mix of kids but sometimes there are APs who worked in nurseries or daycares. I’d be angling hard for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stipends are not changing. The only thing that is changing is that the agencies now have to tell prospective au pairs that they have the right to negotiate for higher wages. Federal rules allow you to deduct 40% for room and board.

We have an au pair as do many families in our neighborhood. We and they are not planning on increasing the weekly stipend. We are in high-rent areas so the lodging is already a big expense. We provide cell phone pre-paid plan, gym membership, subsidize some trips back home, allow use of car for personal stuff, and offer lots of vacation time. So we don't feel a need to increase the stipend unless we were to stop offering all of these extra perks.

Lodging is not any additional cost but some utilities. You'd have that house size regardless of if she is there or not or are you going to sell and downsize once you no longer need child care? You have some increased utilities, food, if she drives - car insurance, gas, possibly another car.

What are you talking about? I guess you don't live in DC Metro. My AP live in my renovated basement apartment with a separate entrance that i could rent for a good $800-1000/month. So yes, when I will be done with the AP program, I will probably rent my basement apartment and make some extra money!

Then, rent out your apartment. That logic doesn't make sense as it doesn't cost you more to have her there as you are not renting out the apartment and you could give her an upstairs room. So, no it doesn't cost you more as you are not renting space for her.

Your logic skills are poor. A separate apartment is a perk for au pair. She might not agree to come stay in a tiny upstairs guest room with a shared bath. So getting an au pair (which entails many additional expenses like a second car, insurance for a young driver, educational stipend, etc.), ipso facto means you cannot rent out an apartment, that you would rent, but/for au pair.

[Anonymous]

OP here: Thanks, everyone. I understand that our situation is complicated and that there are differing views on whether an AP is the way to go for infants. I was merely looking for info on how the settlement might impact costs as it was my understanding that we would now need to pay local minimum wage WITHOUT deductions for living expenses. It sounds like that is not the case. Thanks for the info and I may be back if we decide to go this route.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would wait until your youngest is at least 2. APs would be my last childcare option for younger than 2.
I probably would have quit my job instead of an ap.

We did full time daycare then went to AP when youngest was 4. It was over 60k a year, about the same as a nanny.

Me either. My neighbor was our CCAP LLC for a whopping 13 years. The juicy scoop I would get from here each week was dizzying. Not a chance I would leave my non-verbal child with an AP, the rematch rate is around 40% for people with small kids and often the rematch is under pretty disturbing circumstances that the agency really glosses over. OTOH, she was also my inspiration to get an AP for our school aged kids.

[Anonymous]

My Brazilian au pairs were perfect for my then-infant daughter. Both had grown up caring for babies -- siblings, cousins, etc. My au pairs said it was in their blood, LOL. Mine were 21+ when they arrived.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Brazilian au pairs were perfect for my then-infant daughter. Both had grown up caring for babies -- siblings, cousins, etc. My au pairs said it was in their blood, LOL. Mine were 21+ when they arrived.

Yeap, most APs that i know who take good care of infants are Brazilian! They tend to be older and have lot of experience with sibling and other family members.