Weird explanation for blowing past weeknight curfew
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Anonymous
| So we really like our au pair, but she is a bit immature sometimes as she is on the very young side. The other night (a Monday I think) she wasn’t home around 10:30ish so I texted her just to see if everything ok (curfew is 11 but she doesn’t usually go out “late” on weeknights). She said she’s at her friend’s (named a friend) and she’s leaving soon. Ok. hubby and I go to bed and she didn’t get home till 1:30 (the alarm beeps when the door opens). Not a huge deal as I was planning to drive the kids to school the next day anyway (although she didn’t know that), and she was prompt and pleasant at her start time of 7am. Because I was rushing out the door I didn’t ask her about the night before but tonightt I casually asked what happened the other night. Her answer was that she was trying to leave her friend’s house but her friend had invited another friend over who was talking so much that she couldn’t get a word In to say goodbye. The weird thing is I totally believe her, but also shows some lack of maturity and backbone. We like her and she is good with our kids, and she is even firm when she needs to be. Thoughts?. |
Anonymous
| Just to clarify, she got home at one thirty. |
Anonymous
| Your au pair is an adult. Adults shouldn’t have curfews. |
Anonymous
|
She's an adult. She was out late and yet was at work on time and was pleasant and engaged. What's the issue?
I would never have addressed this with her. Frankly I'm impressed that you never pulled late nights during the week when you were young. I'm an MB and you sound like a miserable MB. You seem to have control issues (texting her at 1030 even though her curfew is 11). Maybe this whole thing isn't for you. |
Anonymous
|
Wow. The prior two posts are a good example of sock puppeting.
Tell your AP that she needs to be home on time. If she took the car to go to her friend’s, then inform her another missed curfew means no weeknight car use or a car curfew of 10:30pm. PP didn’t bother to notice that AP is responsible for driving the kids and didn’t know she wouldn’t have to the morning in question. PP also probably thinks APs having car accidents is the norm. |
Anonymous
| Thank you pp. we’ve reminded her of the curfew. I just thought this was a weird thing which I why I posted. |
Anonymous
Huh? I'm the MB poster. That was my only post. I don't understand the issue about driving. Have you never driven on less than an ideal amount of sleep? I have. Never been in an accident. I also don't understand why you think my post means I think aps having car accidents is the norm. You have a very, very strange way of thinking. |
Anonymous
| My AP often gets home at 230 am in weeknights. She doesn’t have the morning shift. But I did tell her she seemed tired and snappy with the kids and that she wasn’t doing the child housekeeping tasks. She snapped out of it. She still fors our until late but she knows it can’t affect her performance. |
Anonymous
I agree with this. Unless she is rude or impatient in the mornings I think you need to trust her to make her own decisions. |
Anonymous
Exactly. I wrote the above, I’m not an au pair but a 4-year host mom. We have a “well-rested” rule in our handbook which means we expect our au pairs to use their judgment to determine when they need to go to bed in order to be ready to work the next day at the appointed time. Our au pairs appreciate that we respect them as adults and don’t mandate they be home st a specific time like a teenage kid. At the beginning I ask aps to let me know if they’ll be home late, so I don’t worry about them, but otherwise they are responsible for themselves. I couldn’t have someone responsible for my kids who wasn’t able to take care of herself. |
Anonymous
| Have a reset conversation about why it’s important for her to respect the curfew/well-rested rule. I’ve always explained why it’s important if the APs are working early the next morning, and they have understood that it’s for the safety of the kids and for themselves. |
Anonymous
What does MB mean? "ISAAFE" Is there an acronym for EVERYTHING? |
Anonymous
MB is a very common acronym used on this forum for "mom boss" |
Anonymous
Not, it is not, nanny troll. It is a common acronym only for nannies discussions. Busted! |
Anonymous
| Haha I was also wondering what mb stood for and came up with very different answers. |