Am I overreacting?

[Anonymous]

I met our current nanny through a friend who used to hire her as an occasional babysitter. Friend did not need or want to hire the nanny at the time because she had another childcare provider. Now the friend's family is in-between nannies. Friend has started texting my nanny to ask if she can drop off her son at my house several times a week without even consulting me first. I find out because my nanny tells me and she feels uncomfortable saying no. My nanny has her hands full as we have 3 kids. I feel like friend is taking advantage of me and the nanny. Am I overreacting? What should I say - this is awkward...

[Anonymous]

No, you are not overreacting but I would definitely tell your nanny to tell this woman that she is unable to provide any childcare while she is working. Tell the nanny to stand up to this woman.

[Anonymous]

I agree with Pp, tell your nanny to decline the offer.

[Anonymous]

Your nanny came to you for help. Call your friend and tell her that when Nanny Larla os working for you that she is unable to transport and/or babysit her child. This puts the onus on you and not your nanny.

[Anonymous]

Tell your "friend" nanny has her hands full. Inappropriate to have nanny in the middle of this. Extremely inappropriate for the mother to ask the nanny before asking you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your nanny came to you for help. Call your friend and tell her that when Nanny Larla os working for you that she is unable to transport and/or babysit her child. This puts the onus on you and not your nanny.

Thanks - OP here - I was thinking the same. It's just awkward because we are friends and I wanted to make sure I wasn't being unreasonable. I have a feeling she thinks I owe her one because she introduced the nanny to our family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your nanny came to you for help. Call your friend and tell her that when Nanny Larla os working for you that she is unable to transport and/or babysit her child. This puts the onus on you and not your nanny.

Thanks - OP here - I was thinking the same. It's just awkward because we are friends and I wanted to make sure I wasn't being unreasonable. I have a feeling she thinks I owe her one because she introduced the nanny to our family.

She’s way out of line and attempting to take advantage of both of you. If she gets upset over this then she’s not a great friend.

[Anonymous]

Tell your nanny to say that it's not ok with you for her to do this. It's very rude of your friend, and she's overstepping.

[Anonymous]

Your nanny can decline. Your nanny should be the one to say it isn’t possible anymore. I am a nanny and I would have never said yes in the first place and would have no trouble saying no now.

[Anonymous]

I think it is on you OP to let your friend know that your Nanny will no longer be able to help her out.

I feel it is unfair to put Nanny in such an awkward position.

Your “friend” is rudely taking full advantage of your Nanny’s kindness and has obviously ulterior motives.

[Anonymous]

Both you and Nanny can decline.
Your friend didn't come to you directly bc she knew it was not going to be okay. Your friend knows it's underhanded to go to nanny, and she did it anyway.
When you "catch" your friend by confronting her and saying no to her face or by text/email/social media, she'll back off. No need to let her get your cortisol rising. No need.
You've worked hard and negotiated well to get your happy nanny situation. No hard feelings. #ItsBusiness

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I met our current nanny through a friend who used to hire her as an occasional babysitter. Friend did not need or want to hire the nanny at the time because she had another childcare provider. Now the friend's family is in-between nannies. Friend has started texting my nanny to ask if she can drop off her son at my house several times a week without even consulting me first. I find out because my nanny tells me and she feels uncomfortable saying no. My nanny has her hands full as we have 3 kids. I feel like friend is taking advantage of me and the nanny. Am I overreacting? What should I say - this is awkward...

Not awkward, tell her your kids and nanny are too busy for that and after 3pm is for relaxing at home with each other most days. No visitors every day. And no nanny share at your house- and certainly not a free one or under table paying YOUR nanny.

[Anonymous]

Is it only temporary and does Nanny want to do it?
If its only for a couple of weeks while they wait for a new Nanny to start and your Nanny wants to do it then I would let her.
if its a permanent fix and they dont want to look for someone else then I would say no.

[Anonymous]

too much wear and tear on the house.

plus your friend is taking advantage of you. totally bad form on her part. going to your employee to get employee to do some work for her too while on the clock for you. yuck.

[Anonymous]

Above PP again. I have been with my current family for 7 years and have gotten to know so many Moms with kids my kids ages. If someone wanted temp care they would probably ask me, not MB because my MB would leave it up to me. I dont think the friend is wrong to check with Nanny and not you.