Would employers have an issue with this?

[Anonymous]

Just trying to get a sense of whether this crosses a line.

I work 60+ hours per week with 2 under 4 (4 13-hour days and 1 8-hour day). I have two weeks’ paid time off that gets taken up with visiting family and other similar obligations. I am getting really burnt out because I can never do literally anything Monday-Thursday. I have enrolled in the NAEYC annual conference in DC and plan to take a few unpaid days off then. I also said yes to a few other commitments that would require me to leave qork by 6:30 instead of 8:30. I plan to do the work of finding and training a qualified replacement sitter and my OT rate is so high that even paying generous wages for a sitter they are still getting a discount on those hours. I obviously need to ask permission but I am trying to figure out how much blowback I might get.

[Anonymous]

How old are you? Only children need "permission".

Most anyone doing those hours would quickly burnout. Your employers are nuts. They should give you anything you need.

[Anonymous]

13 hour days? Wow. Do not ask for permission. Let them know the days you need off and tell him you have a sitter back up. That’s it. I’m assuming you’ll ask way before you actually need these days off.

[Anonymous]

As long as you have PTO to cover it, just give them the days you'll need off and don't worry about it.

If you don't have PTO available, then yes, you need to ask permission. You can't just take unpaid time off, even if you bring in a replacement, without a conversation about it. They may or may not be okay with it. If they aren't, then it might be time to move on and find a job that is a better fit.

[Anonymous]

How long have you been employed by them? Have you ever asked for unpaid time off before?

[Anonymous]

I would be taking this as unpaid time which I agree means needing to ask permission.

I have been with them for 3 years, but my schedule has only been this heavy for the last 1.5 years.

[Anonymous]

Oh and I haven’t used much unpaid time in previous years because in the past a lot of my family members came here to visit me so I would just take like one day off and spend one workday with the kids going to a museum or something and meet my family there. This is the first year that I have had to be the one to travel for Every. Single. Thing. so between a few different family trips that have already happened or are scheduled over the holidays, all my PTO is spoken for.

[Anonymous]

That many hours every week is nuts.

[Anonymous]

I think you are doing everything right, but where you are going to get blow back is that you're leaving them out of it.

You need to bring them into the process rather than presenting them with your new schedule + a sitter as a fait accompli. This is what will make an employer feel like s/he is being told how to manage her household and possibly lead to anger.

I suggest asking for a meeting where you tell them how much you love being your nanny kids' nanny, but after however long you've been working there, you have reached the end of your ability to work the long hours. Then present them with your plan.

They may come back to you with a different option, and that is something you will have to consider. If they, for example, offer to get someone to cover all evenings from 4:30 on, for example, or to take over Fridays entirely, cutting your overtime considerably, would you be ok with that? Because if I were presented with the need to get a second nanny, that is what I would do -- exchange the hassle and expense of another employee for less OT cost and a job with enough hours to be attractive to a candidate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just trying to get a sense of whether this crosses a line.

I work 60+ hours per week with 2 under 4 (4 13-hour days and 1 8-hour day). I have two weeks’ paid time off that gets taken up with visiting family and other similar obligations. I am getting really burnt out because I can never do literally anything Monday-Thursday. I have enrolled in the NAEYC annual conference in DC and plan to take a few unpaid days off then. I also said yes to a few other commitments that would require me to leave qork by 6:30 instead of 8:30. I plan to do the work of finding and training a qualified replacement sitter and my OT rate is so high that even paying generous wages for a sitter they are still getting a discount on those hours. I obviously need to ask permission but I am trying to figure out how much blowback I might get.

Perhaps 60 hours a week are tough, esp if neither kid is in a morning school or anything. Fortunately they both nap but that's still several long days.

If you sense this is too much for you, please talk to them about splitting the week up with a second nanny or something. Can you live in at their house M-Thursday? WOuld that make things easier, less to worry about? I had 13 hour days in my 20s but could not do that nowadays - physically or b/c I also have to help run my own household once I get home!

[Anonymous]

Are you paid OT? Bet not. These are unrealistic work conditions and you need to find another position with no more than 45 hours a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you are doing everything right, but where you are going to get blow back is that you're leaving them out of it.

You need to bring them into the process rather than presenting them with your new schedule + a sitter as a fait accompli. This is what will make an employer feel like s/he is being told how to manage her household and possibly lead to anger.

I suggest asking for a meeting where you tell them how much you love being your nanny kids' nanny, but after however long you've been working there, you have reached the end of your ability to work the long hours. Then present them with your plan.

They may come back to you with a different option, and that is something you will have to consider. If they, for example, offer to get someone to cover all evenings from 4:30 on, for example, or to take over Fridays entirely, cutting your overtime considerably, would you be ok with that? Because if I were presented with the need to get a second nanny, that is what I would do -- exchange the hassle and expense of another employee for less OT cost and a job with enough hours to be attractive to a candidate.

This. Especially the bolded sections.

I would be a great deal more receptive to working with you if you approach me this way, than if you come to me and just tell me your plan. I would not be ok w/ you subcontracting childcare out to someone else - I would need to interview that person myself.

I think your schedule is unrealistic and your employers should be completely prepared for this to have burned you out - so hopefully they will be receptive to wanting to keep you and finding a solution that is more humane (and one that gives them what they need.) Look for the "win/win" if you want to retain the job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you are doing everything right, but where you are going to get blow back is that you're leaving them out of it.

You need to bring them into the process rather than presenting them with your new schedule + a sitter as a fait accompli. This is what will make an employer feel like s/he is being told how to manage her household and possibly lead to anger.

I suggest asking for a meeting where you tell them how much you love being your nanny kids' nanny, but after however long you've been working there, you have reached the end of your ability to work the long hours. Then present them with your plan.

They may come back to you with a different option, and that is something you will have to consider. If they, for example, offer to get someone to cover all evenings from 4:30 on, for example, or to take over Fridays entirely, cutting your overtime considerably, would you be ok with that? Because if I were presented with the need to get a second nanny, that is what I would do -- exchange the hassle and expense of another employee for less OT cost and a job with enough hours to be attractive to a candidate.

Thanks for this (OP here). The reason I was moving forward was because they never have stayed home from work to cover my vacation. They always either have grandparents do it or they ask me to find, hire and train a replacement. So I sort of made these dates and was going to offer the backup while leaving the door open to cancel my plans if they really have an issue. Calling a meeting to discuss is pretty much impossible. They are not good at communication. I send a weekly email update on everything and they only respond like every third week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you paid OT? Bet not. These are unrealistic work conditions and you need to find another position with no more than 45 hours a week.

Do you read before making assumptions? Bet not. Why always assume the worst on situations, especially those you are completely unfamiliar with?

OP, do you want to continue working 60 hour weeks? Do you need more paid time off? Two weeks is not very much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you paid OT? Bet not. These are unrealistic work conditions and you need to find another position with no more than 45 hours a week.

Do you read before making assumptions? Bet not. Why always assume the worst on situations, especially those you are completely unfamiliar with?

OP, do you want to continue working 60 hour weeks? Do you need more paid time off? Two weeks is not very much.

I am paid OT for all hours over 40 and have guaranteed hours. I don’t mind the long hours all the time but I do think I need for time off. Lately I just feel like I can never catch up.