Can’t stay late anymore due to family issues— will they let me go?!

[Anonymous]

I recently moved back home with parents due to financial and other personal issues. To help my parents out, I have the task of picking up my sister everyday from school. She’s in high school and has cheer practice and needs to be picked up. My dad would pick her up, but since he switched jobs he wasn’t able to pick her up anymore. I usually stay late at work at least once a week. Since ive moved back home I haven’t been able to stay late and I think my MB is upset about this. Since I usually say yes, today I actually told her that I have to pick up my sister from school everyday. Her school is on my way home from work and my mom works in the opposite direction of my sisters school so it made more sense for me to pick her up. I love my parents and I appreciate their generosity letting me stay at their home again (rent and bills free), but I felt like my mom gave me no option. MB said “you usually are able to stay late so this explains a lot” when I told her I had to pick up my sister.
My sister does plan to start driving soon, but won’t have her license for at least another year. I really don’t want this family issue to affect my job. I’m worried they’ll want to let me go. Has anyone else dealt with a family situation?

[Anonymous]

You may well have to accept that your new situation is not compatible with your job. It happens. I would talk honestly to your employers about it and be prepared to make a change.

No bad guys here. You should be able to part ways with nothing but good feelings, a good reference and occasionally see your charge.

[Anonymous]

Don't feel guilty.
If they aren't paying you enough of a wage to be able to move out and afford your own apartment, then they need to deal with your limitations of not being at their beck and call after hours.
Don't apologize. Just tell them you now have a daily family commitment and you can't stay late.
-MB

[Anonymous]

I think your Nanny family is being a bit selfish here.

Bottom line - If they truly value you + all that you do for their family, then they should be able to be a little flexible every now & then.

If they are unwilling to keep you on due to this one issue, trust me OP....
That would mean that they never valued you since you started.

If that is the case, then it would likely be a blessing if they issued you walking papers.

Whatever happens, I wish you only the best.
Good luck.

[Anonymous]

It doesn’t sound as though they pay you well, certainly not well enough to be on call every evening. Maybe if they need you to stay late they can schedule you in advance and you can make other arrangements for your sister, even if that is using an Uber.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t sound as though they pay you well, certainly not well enough to be on call every evening. Maybe if they need you to stay late they can schedule you in advance and you can make other arrangements for your sister, even if that is using an Uber.

Not every evening OP said only once a week.

[Anonymous]

Staying late should be a choice, unless, it says in your contract “Wednesday 8-9 and the other days 8-6.” It’s not the end of the world, OP and it seems like your situation is only temporary. Your family should understand that and if they put in the work, they could easily find someone to come by and babysit for those extra hours 1x per week.

I do have questions though:
1. There’s no buses or trains your sister can catch (1 day a week)?
2. She doesn’t have any friends that drive or she can carpool with to go to cheerleading practice (1 day a week)?

[Anonymous]

Is this a last-minute, "can you stay late tonight thing?" Or, do they know in advance?

Is it an hour or less, or more like 3+ hours?

If there's advance notice, maybe you can help them find some sitters they could call.

[Anonymous]

If it’s only one day a week, can your sister find a carpool home? Can she walk to a nearby library and work on homework so you can stay late?

They pay you for the extra time, right? How late do they need you to stay? 30 minutes? 2 hours?

[Anonymous]

There are buses but basically she would take 2 hours to get home. She goes to a school far from our home. Most of her friends live nearby and it’s inconvenient for them to drive her home. There’s a school bus but again it would take her 2 hours to get home. My contracted hours are 8-5 everyday. Most of the time they need me for 30 mins -3 hours. And I said they need me AT LEAST once a week. Most of the time it’s 2+ nights a week. It’s also a last minute thing. I’m usually asked 30 mins to an hour before I’m supposed to leave to stay late so it’s not like I can arrange other transportation for my sister

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are buses but basically she would take 2 hours to get home. She goes to a school far from our home. Most of her friends live nearby and it’s inconvenient for them to drive her home. There’s a school bus but again it would take her 2 hours to get home. My contracted hours are 8-5 everyday. Most of the time they need me for 30 mins -3 hours. And I said they need me AT LEAST once a week. Most of the time it’s 2+ nights a week. It’s also a last minute thing. I’m usually asked 30 mins to an hour before I’m supposed to leave to stay late so it’s not like I can arrange other transportation for my sister

Was flexibility in this way part of the job description when you accepted the job? If not, maybe they'll work around you.

Also, how about getting your sister an Uber account? I gotta say, I think this is your parents' problem and not yours (getting her home). I understand that was the deal with you moving back in, but you'll never move out again if you lose this job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are buses but basically she would take 2 hours to get home. She goes to a school far from our home. Most of her friends live nearby and it’s inconvenient for them to drive her home. There’s a school bus but again it would take her 2 hours to get home. My contracted hours are 8-5 everyday. Most of the time they need me for 30 mins -3 hours. And I said they need me AT LEAST once a week. Most of the time it’s 2+ nights a week. It’s also a last minute thing. I’m usually asked 30 mins to an hour before I’m supposed to leave to stay late so it’s not like I can arrange other transportation for my sister

Was flexibility in this way part of the job description when you accepted the job? If not, maybe they'll work around you.

Also, how about getting your sister an Uber account? I gotta say, I think this is your parents' problem and not yours (getting her home). I understand that was the deal with you moving back in, but you'll never move out again if you lose this job.

Flexibility was never mentioned. I clearly asked during the interview if they would need extra hours and they said no. Which was false as they underestimated how much they would need me. Like I said, my sisters school is far from our home so it would easily be $20+ for a ride every time.

[Anonymous]

Can't your sister get a ride home from a friend's parents once a week? Or can you send an Uber to take her home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are buses but basically she would take 2 hours to get home. She goes to a school far from our home. Most of her friends live nearby and it’s inconvenient for them to drive her home. There’s a school bus but again it would take her 2 hours to get home. My contracted hours are 8-5 everyday. Most of the time they need me for 30 mins -3 hours. And I said they need me AT LEAST once a week. Most of the time it’s 2+ nights a week. It’s also a last minute thing. I’m usually asked 30 mins to an hour before I’m supposed to leave to stay late so it’s not like I can arrange other transportation for my sister

Was flexibility in this way part of the job description when you accepted the job? If not, maybe they'll work around you.

Also, how about getting your sister an Uber account? I gotta say, I think this is your parents' problem and not yours (getting her home). I understand that was the deal with you moving back in, but you'll never move out again if you lose this job.

Flexibility was never mentioned. I clearly asked during the interview if they would need extra hours and they said no. Which was false as they underestimated how much they would need me. Like I said, my sisters school is far from our home so it would easily be $20+ for a ride every time.

Then it seems perfectly reasonable to say you can't be flexible anymore, but they may also have decided their needs have changed since they hired you. It sounds like you don't have much choice in the matter, so I guess you'll just have to wait and see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t sound as though they pay you well, certainly not well enough to be on call every evening. Maybe if they need you to stay late they can schedule you in advance and you can make other arrangements for your sister, even if that is using an Uber.

Not every evening OP said only once a week.

On a specific night? Otherwise she is on call.