Advice needed, major job change will require help with kid

[Anonymous]

I am about to start a new job in a couple months that is a major change for me. It is exciting, but I will be going from a high paying 9-5 job with no travel to a meh paying job with some travel. I am a single mom and I wouldn't normally do this to myself, but it is the opportunity of a lifetime and will not last more than a couple years. I have no family nearby, but they can come once in a while when needed. I have a very serious boyfriend (more like a life partner) but we are not married and he travels a lot for work. When he is home he is perfectly happy to take over kid duties, but he may have work meetings and he travels a lot for work. We have one kid in 4th grade who is pretty easy. Dad is nearby, but he is not available (don't ask).

If I didn't have my partner at home, I would obviously need someone to pick her up everyday, fix dinner etc and stay late, like up to 9 pm on days I have to stay late at work.I hope there will be enough days that I can leave at 6! And, be there when I travel of course. But, my partner is there and will often be there and no help is needed on those days.

So, I am not sure how to handle this and I could use the perspective of those of you who have experience. I need someone to take over when he travels or has late meetings. Is this best handled through an au pair? Part time nanny? For either of those, when my partner is home their work isn't needed, but I need to make sure to always have someone around because of his travel. His travel is somewhat planned, sometimes months in advance, but usually a couple weeks in advance. I have never had anyone else live in my home and it is kind of weird to even think of an au pair, but that may make financial sense. But, my life is about get really busy and I cannot fuss with a young person who isn't very mature.

I am worried that this type of schedule is too crazy for anyone and it needs to work me, my family, and the person who will ultimately take care of my kid. I am willing to pay well for the right person who is flexible and there when I need them.

[Anonymous]

Get an au pair.

[Anonymous]

You aren’t going to find a good nanny. Au pair is definitely your best choice.

[Anonymous]

Instead of writing four rambling paragraphs can you just write ONE sentence saying when you'll need someone and what you'll beed? Because by 4th grade I had been carrying a housekeey for two years already and could make dinner for the family. The only thing I couldn't do on my own was get to after-school activities.

Do you need someone to drive your DD around?

[Anonymous]

Hey PP, you clearly didn’t read her post and you cannot spell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Instead of writing four rambling paragraphs can you just write ONE sentence saying when you'll need someone and what you'll beed? Because by 4th grade I had been carrying a housekeey for two years already and could make dinner for the family. The only thing I couldn't do on my own was get to after-school activities.

Do you need someone to drive your DD around?

This kind of arrangement is no longer legal in a lot of places. Your experience as a latchkey kid is not relevant to the childcare needs modern parents. If you disagree with that, you should talk to your local and state governmental representatives.

[Anonymous]

If there will be an instances of overlapping travel, an AP won’t work. They can only do 9-10 hours per day, so that’s your overnight, no daytime hours.

Look for a student who can live with you. You don’t need a nanny, you need an available adult to pick up and be there in case of emergency. Be clear that hours will be sporadic, pay roughly $10-15/hour, guarantee 15 hours per week, and do free room and board. You should have plenty of students with intense schedules jump at easy money, a quiet place to study (with lots of time), and a small paycheck. Make it clear to your daughter that she should follow directions as needed, but that they aren’t there to entertain her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Instead of writing four rambling paragraphs can you just write ONE sentence saying when you'll need someone and what you'll beed? Because by 4th grade I had been carrying a housekeey for two years already and could make dinner for the family. The only thing I couldn't do on my own was get to after-school activities.

Do you need someone to drive your DD around?

This kind of arrangement is no longer legal in a lot of places. Your experience as a latchkey kid is not relevant to the childcare needs modern parents. If you disagree with that, you should talk to your local and state governmental representatives.

Most places will allow an 8-9 year old to be home alone for up to 1.5 hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Instead of writing four rambling paragraphs can you just write ONE sentence saying when you'll need someone and what you'll beed? Because by 4th grade I had been carrying a housekeey for two years already and could make dinner for the family. The only thing I couldn't do on my own was get to after-school activities.

Do you need someone to drive your DD around?

This kind of arrangement is no longer legal in a lot of places. Your experience as a latchkey kid is not relevant to the childcare needs modern parents. If you disagree with that, you should talk to your local and state governmental representatives.

Most places will allow an 8-9 year old to be home alone for up to 1.5 hours.

What do you mean places?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If there will be an instances of overlapping travel, an AP won’t work. They can only do 9-10 hours per day, so that’s your overnight, no daytime hours.

Look for a student who can live with you. You don’t need a nanny, you need an available adult to pick up and be there in case of emergency. Be clear that hours will be sporadic, pay roughly $10-15/hour, guarantee 15 hours per week, and do free room and board. You should have plenty of students with intense schedules jump at easy money, a quiet place to study (with lots of time), and a small paycheck. Make it clear to your daughter that she should follow directions as needed, but that they aren’t there to entertain her.

I agree that you need someone who can be on an on call basis. Offer guaranteed hours but with the schedule being so different I would suggest paying at least $12/h. Maybe do a flat nightly rate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Instead of writing four rambling paragraphs can you just write ONE sentence saying when you'll need someone and what you'll beed? Because by 4th grade I had been carrying a housekeey for two years already and could make dinner for the family. The only thing I couldn't do on my own was get to after-school activities.

Do you need someone to drive your DD around?

Work on your reading comprehension, spelling and attitude.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you will need some overnights. An au pair won’t work for that. What is your plan for sick days home from school or level planned days off of school. If you can find some other coverage for daytime, I might consider hiring someone who works every afternoon and evening and who is comfortable staying over if needed for an additional fee. With an older kid, I would look for someone who can handle homework and dinner prep, but also could shift to light housework on nights you are around to focus on the more kid centric activities. Maybe even someone who can run errands for you on nights you can be home. So the employee has guaranteed coverage and you have more free time.

[Anonymous]

OP here, thanks for the advice everyone. This isn’t going to be easy, but I will figure it out. I may also mean on a couple close friends here and there. Takes a village!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, thanks for the advice everyone. This isn’t going to be easy, but I will figure it out. I may also mean on a couple close friends here and there. Takes a village!

That gets old fast for your close friends, especially since you gave up a well-paying, stable job.

[Anonymous]

Op, I’m curios why did you make the job change? Doesn’t make sense to me that you would take a job with travel knowing that your partner might travel too.