Mom does cocaine and smokes weed...what should I do?

[Anonymous]

I work for a part time family twice a week from 8-4. I’ve been noticing that lately the mom has been smoking weed right before I leave. She’s asked me to stay until 4:30 or 5 sometimes and it wasnt until recently that I’ve realized she smokes weed when she asks me to stay late. They have another nanny/housekeeper they employ the other 3 days and she recently told me that she also does cocaine. When she comes in to relieve me she’s clearly high most of the time. I’ve never seen any cocaine or seen her use it, but I have seen her weed stash and I’ve seen her smoke it. I guess my concern here is what should I do? She’s clearly high whether on cocaine or weed...the kids are 2 & 4. And I’m concerned for their well being. I’m sure the father knows and turns a blind eye because he works everyday from 6 am - 7 pm.

[Anonymous]

What are you thinking you SHOULD do?

[Anonymous]

Duh. Call the proper athorities and quit.

[Anonymous]

Report her and quit. These children are in danger.

[Anonymous]

Op here, I was thinking about calling child protective services.

[Anonymous]

Nothing. Kids are being taken care of. Why would you report it? Its not neglect or abuse to the kids if she makes a care plan for them.

[Anonymous]

Op claims she's "concerned for the children's well being", yet has done nothing. How much longer does she want the little children to be in danger?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op claims she's "concerned for the children's well being", yet has done nothing. How much longer does she want the little children to be in danger?

Op here. As someone who has experience in the foster care and child department services, having your children taken away can be traumatizing for both children and parents. The system is supposedly designed to help. But that is not always the case. I also don’t want to be “ruining” this family. The girls are feed, clothed and clean. They might not seem “neglected” but I worry the moms actions and abilities are conmpromised when she’s high.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op claims she's "concerned for the children's well being", yet has done nothing. How much longer does she want the little children to be in danger?

Op here. As someone who has experience in the foster care and child department services, having your children taken away can be traumatizing for both children and parents. The system is supposedly designed to help. But that is not always the case. I also don’t want to be “ruining” this family. The girls are feed, clothed and clean. They might not seem “neglected” but I worry the moms actions and abilities are conmpromised when she’s high.

I agree, it is a big deal to involve CPS but what if she drives them while high? Or forgets to turn off the stove? I would talk to her husband about it honestly before calling CPS. Once you call CPS they will probably know it's you so I'd have a new job lined up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op claims she's "concerned for the children's well being", yet has done nothing. How much longer does she want the little children to be in danger?

I’d report that mom to the proper authority, that is if I’m positive she’s doing it........if it was the nanny doing it
they wouldn’t hesitate to report her, it wouldn’t have mattered if she was taking the best care of the kids
and they weren’t in danger. Mom or not, anyone taking care of kids should be held to the same standard.

[Anonymous]

Reach out to the father.

[Anonymous]

Talk to the father.

[Anonymous]

Illegal activity gets reported to the police. They will contact cps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op claims she's "concerned for the children's well being", yet has done nothing. How much longer does she want the little children to be in danger?

Op here. As someone who has experience in the foster care and child department services, having your children taken away can be traumatizing for both children and parents. The system is supposedly designed to help. But that is not always the case. I also don’t want to be “ruining” this family. The girls are feed, clothed and clean. They might not seem “neglected” but I worry the moms actions and abilities are conmpromised when she’s high.

Were you neglected as a child?

[Anonymous]

On the website for the International Nanny Association, there is a page that lists each state and it tells you which agencies to contact concerning abuse and neglect.