Mom does cocaine and smokes weed...what should I do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op claims she's "concerned for the children's well being", yet has done nothing. How much longer does she want the little children to be in danger?

Op here. As someone who has experience in the foster care and child department services, having your children taken away can be traumatizing for both children and parents. The system is supposedly designed to help. But that is not always the case. I also don’t want to be “ruining” this family. The girls are feed, clothed and clean. They might not seem “neglected” but I worry the moms actions and abilities are conmpromised when she’s high.

They have nannies so it is not neglect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op claims she's "concerned for the children's well being", yet has done nothing. How much longer does she want the little children to be in danger?

Op here. As someone who has experience in the foster care and child department services, having your children taken away can be traumatizing for both children and parents. The system is supposedly designed to help. But that is not always the case. I also don’t want to be “ruining” this family. The girls are feed, clothed and clean. They might not seem “neglected” but I worry the moms actions and abilities are conmpromised when she’s high.

They have nannies so it is not neglect.

Op here.
Uhhh, I said she is high when I have to leave. She’s early high most of the time when I have to go home.

[Anonymous]

*** really ^ not early

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op claims she's "concerned for the children's well being", yet has done nothing. How much longer does she want the little children to be in danger?

Op here. As someone who has experience in the foster care and child department services, having your children taken away can be traumatizing for both children and parents. The system is supposedly designed to help. But that is not always the case. I also don’t want to be “ruining” this family. The girls are feed, clothed and clean. They might not seem “neglected” but I worry the moms actions and abilities are conmpromised when she’s high.

Were you neglected as a child?

Yes, I was in foster care by the time I was 2.

[Anonymous]

Shame on this “Mother.”

How in the world can any parent do their job if their brains are being fried??!

Definitely talk to the Father first & address your concerns to him.
Maybe he can talk some sense into his junkie wife.

If you do not see any improvement after talking w/him then perhaps speak to the school counselors + ask their advice.

Ultimately you may have to contact CHILD PROTECTION SERVICES in your area.

You would never forgive yourself if a child was badly injured over the Mother doing something negligent while caring for her innocent child(ren.)

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

There shouldn’t be a question. You are a childcare professional, aka a mandatory reporter! So report it to the police!

[Anonymous]

Agree with others. Talk to Dad. I am a mom who smokes weed though.

[Anonymous]

I couldn't disagree more with the group consensus. How dare you betray this family's trust and try to ruin their lives by calling CPS or some other authority. Parents make all kinds of decisions about what they do in their free time and you have to respect their judgment and privacy. Abuse and neglect is an entirely different subject than whether this mother smokes a little weed, which is legal in this city, by the way. And you have no idea about someone else's speculation about cocaine. If you can't handle it, then, yes, speak to the father and resign your position.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I couldn't disagree more with the group consensus. How dare you betray this family's trust and try to ruin their lives by calling CPS or some other authority. Parents make all kinds of decisions about what they do in their free time and you have to respect their judgment and privacy. Abuse and neglect is an entirely different subject than whether this mother smokes a little weed, which is legal in this city, by the way. And you have no idea about someone else's speculation about cocaine. If you can't handle it, then, yes, speak to the father and resign your position.

She doesn’t smoke “a little” weed. She gets high almost every time I’m there. I’ve seen her smoking and trust me, it’s not a hit or two. She smokes a lot.

[Anonymous]

Op here again, thanks everyone for your suggestions. I spoke with the father and he said he would talk to her about it. I mean, I can’t really tell her or him what they should or shouldn’t do, but I suggested that if she smokes I would be most comfortable that she do it way before I have to leave, say around 12 pm versus 3:45 pm. That way at least the high might have slightly worn out.

[Anonymous]

OP, thank you. I am relieved to read of your decision. I am the PP who strongly urged you not to report this. I am a public defender and I see all too frequently the havoc wreaked on families of all sorts when police and other agencies intervene unnecessarily. And I'll stress again that marijuana- in large quantities- is legal in DC. This is an issue for the family to work out, and if you are uncomfortable with it, you should absolutely resign, but not throw this family under the bus. Thank you again.

[Anonymous]

Who cares? Weed is like drinking a beer.