My charge looks like a hot mess on weekends!

[Anonymous]

I love my employers and they love their child. No one is quitting or firing and this isn't a big deal.

That said - holy hell, why can't they comb my charge's hair when I am not there! They always post pictures of my charge with mismatched clothes and crazy hair! On Monday mornings, I can barely get a brush through her mass of curly long hair. I get that her appearance is not important to them but... it literally takes two minutes to pull her hair out of her face into a ponytail or pigtails. And she has a closet full of clothes that can easily be matched. My charge will put on whatever you pull out for her so it isn't an issue with her deciding what she wants to wear.

Just an unimportant vent, I guess.

[Anonymous]

I agree. You are a better caregiver than the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree. You are a better caregiver than the parents.

Total nonsense. OP here and that is NOT what I am saying at all. Stop being a jerk.

[Anonymous]

I had a family like this and I took to doing french braid pigtails on Friday night so that the girls would wake up with their hair already up Saturday so at worst I would have 24 hrs of tangles to deal with Monday AM.

[Anonymous]

Same. My employers apparently do not touch a comb or brush all weekend. I have to put conditioner on my charge's hair on Mondays before I wash it just to get a comb through it.

[Anonymous]

Maybe they are working all week and on weekends they don't care about focusing on that. Maybe it doesn't occur to them that on Monday her hair is super tangled. You could tell them. You could lay out her weekend outfits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love my employers and they love their child. No one is quitting or firing and this isn't a big deal.

That said - holy hell, why can't they comb my charge's hair when I am not there! They always post pictures of my charge with mismatched clothes and crazy hair! On Monday mornings, I can barely get a brush through her mass of curly long hair. I get that her appearance is not important to them but... it literally takes two minutes to pull her hair out of her face into a ponytail or pigtails. And she has a closet full of clothes that can easily be matched. My charge will put on whatever you pull out for her so it isn't an issue with her deciding what she wants to wear.

Just an unimportant vent, I guess.

Are these parents self-absorbed?

[Anonymous]

How old is your charge? My kids both picked out their own clothes by the time they were two, and they rarely matched. It honestly never crossed my mind to worry about it. We are also guilty of not touching a comb all weekend (or all week for that matter, except after a bath!) but we have boys, so not quite the same. My parents definitely never did our hair on weekends when my sister and I were growing up, though (and there was no other caregiver during the week in that situation--they just did our hair during the week because we were going to school, and did not bother to do it when we weren't). Your employers might have a similar philosophy. If it is really creating rat's nests in her hair that you have to get out on Mondays, maybe ask them if they can at least brush it out on the weekend evenings to try to prevent that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old is your charge? My kids both picked out their own clothes by the time they were two, and they rarely matched. It honestly never crossed my mind to worry about it. We are also guilty of not touching a comb all weekend (or all week for that matter, except after a bath!) but we have boys, so not quite the same. My parents definitely never did our hair on weekends when my sister and I were growing up, though (and there was no other caregiver during the week in that situation--they just did our hair during the week because we were going to school, and did not bother to do it when we weren't). Your employers might have a similar philosophy. If it is really creating rat's nests in her hair that you have to get out on Mondays, maybe ask them if they can at least brush it out on the weekend evenings to try to prevent that.

OP already said her charge did not care about what she wore. And there is a world of difference between "doing" (as in styling) a child's hair and actually just combing it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love my employers and they love their child. No one is quitting or firing and this isn't a big deal.

That said - holy hell, why can't they comb my charge's hair when I am not there! They always post pictures of my charge with mismatched clothes and crazy hair! On Monday mornings, I can barely get a brush through her mass of curly long hair. I get that her appearance is not important to them but... it literally takes two minutes to pull her hair out of her face into a ponytail or pigtails. And she has a closet full of clothes that can easily be matched. My charge will put on whatever you pull out for her so it isn't an issue with her deciding what she wants to wear.

Just an unimportant vent, I guess.

Are these parents self-absorbed?

OP here and no - not at all. They are great parents and take my charge to fun places on weekends - dedicating all their free time to her. Both are also great dressers and look great themselves. I have no clue why they cannot comb their child's hair on the weekend or dress her in an outfit that actually looks good together or is appropriate!

[Anonymous]

How old is your charge? Are you able to teach her how to dress up and care for her hair? It's easy to judge. Parents could be going through a lot right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is your charge? My kids both picked out their own clothes by the time they were two, and they rarely matched. It honestly never crossed my mind to worry about it. We are also guilty of not touching a comb all weekend (or all week for that matter, except after a bath!) but we have boys, so not quite the same. My parents definitely never did our hair on weekends when my sister and I were growing up, though (and there was no other caregiver during the week in that situation--they just did our hair during the week because we were going to school, and did not bother to do it when we weren't). Your employers might have a similar philosophy. If it is really creating rat's nests in her hair that you have to get out on Mondays, maybe ask them if they can at least brush it out on the weekend evenings to try to prevent that.

OP already said her charge did not care about what she wore. And there is a world of difference between "doing" (as in styling) a child's hair and actually just combing it!

Right, but if the child doesn't care what she wears and is choosing her own clothes (still not clear on age here!) then it would make sense that the clothes might not match. My kid picks out his favorite t-shirt whenever it is clean and whatever the top pair of pants in his drawer is. The t-shirt is bright blue, so it goes nicely with about half his pants and looks ridiculous with the other half. I don't worry about it unless he's going somewhere where he needs to look nice.

I will also say that as the parent of a child with curly hair, you can comb it in the morning and it will be a mess by mid-day--that's just the nature of curls. We have a boy with long curls so we don't ever style it since that would be a little over the top, and most days it is a mess by the evening even if it's been combed in the morning (and we only bother doing that if it's particularly tangled or we're going somewhere where it matters). It's not a big deal, except if it creates knots that require painful combing or cutting out (and we obviously comb it before it gets to that point, but unless it's super humid, that takes a few days).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree. You are a better caregiver than the parents.

Total nonsense. OP here and that is NOT what I am saying at all. Stop being a jerk.

New PP, but it is true that the parents are crap!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love my employers and they love their child. No one is quitting or firing and this isn't a big deal.

That said - holy hell, why can't they comb my charge's hair when I am not there! They always post pictures of my charge with mismatched clothes and crazy hair! On Monday mornings, I can barely get a brush through her mass of curly long hair. I get that her appearance is not important to them but... it literally takes two minutes to pull her hair out of her face into a ponytail or pigtails. And she has a closet full of clothes that can easily be matched. My charge will put on whatever you pull out for her so it isn't an issue with her deciding what she wants to wear.

Just an unimportant vent, I guess.

Are these parents self-absorbed?

OP here and no - not at all. They are great parents and take my charge to fun places on weekends - dedicating all their free time to her. Both are also great dressers and look great themselves. I have no clue why they cannot comb their child's hair on the weekend or dress her in an outfit that actually looks good together or is appropriate!

If they are so great, why are you on DCUM venting about their lack of caring for the basic hygiene for their child?

[Anonymous]

Put child's hair in a braid friday night with detangled and leave in conditioner before you braid it/after you wash it.

Put matching outfits together in the drawer or on hangers. I had to do that for my husband till he got it.