Annual Raise Question

[Anonymous]

Hello,

I have a meeting to discuss the contract next week and plan to ask for health insurance. This would add $5,000 to my annual cost, twice what a $1 raise would add. I haven’t asked for insurance before and am wondering how parents might feel in my asking for so much. I do think it’s fair as I work hard for this family and have needed to be far more flexible than expected. I will of course present my case, but also don’t want them to feel like I’m trying to take advantage now that they rely upon me. Any experience in asking for such a large raise?

[Anonymous]

If they can afford it, they should say yes.

[Anonymous]

I pay $250/month stipend for health insurance. If they balk at the $5000 maybe they can pay half that.

[Anonymous]

You should be working hard at EVERY job you do. That's a base expectation of every employee I hire. It's not "if you do that, you get a big raise" but "if you don't do that, I fire you".

So that shouldn't be part of your "case." Just flat out ask for health insurance in lieu of a raise.

[Anonymous]

Parent here.

$5k seems very steep, but it's hard to tell without knowing what percentage of your annual salary that is.

We have given a subsidy for health insurance in lieu of an annual raise on occasion with our nanny. It can be a great way to give a significant bump, without the tax consequences. So we have done this because it limits our tax hit and puts more cash in the nanny's pocket.

But I would give thought to the context of what you're requesting. A request for a $5k raise would be the rough equivalent of a 10% bump for our nanny - so that would feel awfully high to me and it would have to be driven by some significant increase in responsibilities or hours... But a raise request for anything up to 5% of annual salary I would consider reasonable as an ask, and well within the range of what our nanny typically receives.

So I'd think about what you're requesting from that perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parent here.

$5k seems very steep, but it's hard to tell without knowing what percentage of your annual salary that is.

We have given a subsidy for health insurance in lieu of an annual raise on occasion with our nanny. It can be a great way to give a significant bump, without the tax consequences. So we have done this because it limits our tax hit and puts more cash in the nanny's pocket.

But I would give thought to the context of what you're requesting. A request for a $5k raise would be the rough equivalent of a 10% bump for our nanny - so that would feel awfully high to me and it would have to be driven by some significant increase in responsibilities or hours... But a raise request for anything up to 5% of annual salary I would consider reasonable as an ask, and well within the range of what our nanny typically receives.

So I'd think about what you're requesting from that perspective.

Thank you for this response. Let me ask you this; would you view the nanny differently if she asked for this? Would it help to be prefaced by explaining that I would not ask for this percentage in the future? One big point I have in feeling justified in this request is that they require far more flexibility than stated in the hiring process. If hey had been up front I would have initially asked for more money one year ago.

[Anonymous]

I think you should tell the parents that you enjoy working for them and hope they appreciate your flexibility

Then ask if they’ll consider contributing to your annual $5k health insurance need.
As an FYI we give our Nanny $300/month for this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent here.

$5k seems very steep, but it's hard to tell without knowing what percentage of your annual salary that is.

We have given a subsidy for health insurance in lieu of an annual raise on occasion with our nanny. It can be a great way to give a significant bump, without the tax consequences. So we have done this because it limits our tax hit and puts more cash in the nanny's pocket.

But I would give thought to the context of what you're requesting. A request for a $5k raise would be the rough equivalent of a 10% bump for our nanny - so that would feel awfully high to me and it would have to be driven by some significant increase in responsibilities or hours... But a raise request for anything up to 5% of annual salary I would consider reasonable as an ask, and well within the range of what our nanny typically receives.

So I'd think about what you're requesting from that perspective.

Thank you for this response. Let me ask you this; would you view the nanny differently if she asked for this? Would it help to be prefaced by explaining that I would not ask for this percentage in the future? One big point I have in feeling justified in this request is that they require far more flexibility than stated in the hiring process. If hey had been up front I would have initially asked for more money one year ago.

PP you're responding to here. I think you're conflating a couple of issues. If you have concerns about the flexibility they're requiring, or any other job related issue that is different from what you were hired for - then that's a conversation to have separate from the raise request. If the flexibility they need is a problem for you and if it has turned out that the job is substantively significantly different that what was presented, that is important to talk about. Don't have a conversation where you're asking for a raise (which is a negotiation) with an attitude fed by annoyance or resentment.

If the flexibility has been pretty easy for you to accommodate then you can certainly say that it has turned out that the demands of the job require a good deal more flexibility than perhaps they realized it would when you were hired, but that you're happy that it has been something you have been able to provide. That can lead into a discussion about the raise, but I would not use it quite so directly as a justification for the ask.

I can only speak for myself as an employer, but here are the circumstances under which I am happy to consider a request for a raise (from any employee, not just a nanny):
- employee performs their job in an excellent fashion - on time, professional, honest, reliable, achieves all the requirements and looks for opportunities to go beyond what is asked, w/ a willing and pleasant attitude
- employee is hitting a milestone of some kind where a conversation about compensation is appropriate (end of a trial period, anniversary of employment, significant increase in responsibilities, etc...)
- employee frames the ask in an appropriate and reasonable context. In other words, the ask is for something that makes sense in the framework of compensation, is in line w/ previous raises - or if not is well justified by some change in the job, etc...
- employee understands that they are making a request, that while they may feel the ask is completely deserved (and it may well be) but it is still a request, not something to which they are automatically entitled. Any sense I get of resentment, anger or entitlement can affect how favorably I view the request.

For me, a 10 percent raise is only something I give if there's a significant change in the job, or a promotion, or some true hardship that has been weathered, so I think you need to tread very carefully if your request is for that kind of percentage. It could be viewed as excessive, possibly not affordable, and certainly troubling as a precedent if it's the first raise you're getting from me. My advice to you would be to request a conversation to talk about how they are feeling about your performance in the role. Go into that conversation ready to listen VERY carefully to what they say, and being prepared to have a range of things that would have value for you - significant raise, total healthcare cost reimbursement, additional vacation days, annual membership to some activity to do w/ the kid(s), etc... Have several things that would be rewarding for you and be prepared to be happy w/ some portion or combination of those things that might not be simply a $5k bump in compensation. If they seem to highly value you and have no significant concerns with your performance that is encouraging. If there is something more they would like you to take on to which you can easily say yes, even better.

Assuming everything seems favorable, then you can say something like "Dick and Jane, I have really enjoyed working for you and getting to take care of Little Johnnie. He is such a delight and I look forward to watching him grow and learn in coming years. I'm so glad you're pleased w/ my work also. In light of all of that, and recognizing some of the ways the job has evolved and will continue to change as I take on a larger role in XYZ, I would like to ask if we can review my compensation." Then your employers say something like, Sure - what do you have in mind. or Yes, we've thought about that and we are planning to give you a $1/hr raise. or Gosh Jen, I'm so sorry but we have no wiggle room. And you go from there. You need to play out all of those scenarios in your head and be ready w/ responses for each. Would you walk away from this job if they can't afford any raise? If they cut back on whatever is going on w/ the flexibility issue would that be appreciated or would you happily accommodate that for more money? Could you be happy with $1/hr plus 2 more vacation days? Is $3k in health insurance reimbursement better than $2k in salary bump preferable to you? Is $4k in salary preferable to $5k in insurance coverage preferable? (Don't forget that while you're taxed on salary you're also building your social security income for retirement so for some people that has value.) Be acquainted w/ the tax benefits of a contribution to health insurance vs. a raise - they might not be aware that they won't pay taxes on the insurance contribution the same way they do on wages.

Approach this all as a negotiation - assume you won't get everything you want so know what your absolute must-haves or bare minimums are. Know that it will go better if you're thinking at least as hard about how to make the employer feel like a winner in the process also - what can you offer? Assurances that you don't want to leave the job for at least a couple of years? Additional, easy flexibility? Taking on making dinner one night a week for the family? Taking over the task of sorting through/donating/purchasing clothing as the child(ren) grow? etc... The best negotiation is one where everyone walks away feeling like they got something out of it. For me, in my role as a parent employing a nanny, the things that speak to me are the knowledge that our nanny is happy and not looking for alternate work, will show up everyday with a pleasant,helpful attitude, and is always looking for extra little ways to make my life easier. That's what makes someone a standout. So what can you give to make it easier for the employers to feel good about rewarding you?

Also, while you - and only you - should be making choices about your healthcare, having insurance is important. I have helped our two nannies research and purchase health insurance because I feel strongly that they should have that protection and coverage. So I'm favorably inclined to supporting that - your employers may be also. So it might be meaningful to them that they're helping you get that coverage, even if they can't afford to cover 100% of the costs.

So overall, try to have more than one scenario that can leave you feeling pleased and rewarded - don't let everything hinge on just the $5k number, and figure out ways to give your employers some additional benefit if they are willing to come anywhere near such a significant bump for you.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent here.

$5k seems very steep, but it's hard to tell without knowing what percentage of your annual salary that is.

We have given a subsidy for health insurance in lieu of an annual raise on occasion with our nanny. It can be a great way to give a significant bump, without the tax consequences. So we have done this because it limits our tax hit and puts more cash in the nanny's pocket.

But I would give thought to the context of what you're requesting. A request for a $5k raise would be the rough equivalent of a 10% bump for our nanny - so that would feel awfully high to me and it would have to be driven by some significant increase in responsibilities or hours... But a raise request for anything up to 5% of annual salary I would consider reasonable as an ask, and well within the range of what our nanny typically receives.

So I'd think about what you're requesting from that perspective.

Thank you for this response. Let me ask you this; would you view the nanny differently if she asked for this? Would it help to be prefaced by explaining that I would not ask for this percentage in the future? One big point I have in feeling justified in this request is that they require far more flexibility than stated in the hiring process. If hey had been up front I would have initially asked for more money one year ago.

PP you're responding to here. I think you're conflating a couple of issues. If you have concerns about the flexibility they're requiring, or any other job related issue that is different from what you were hired for - then that's a conversation to have separate from the raise request. If the flexibility they need is a problem for you and if it has turned out that the job is substantively significantly different that what was presented, that is important to talk about. Don't have a conversation where you're asking for a raise (which is a negotiation) with an attitude fed by annoyance or resentment.

If the flexibility has been pretty easy for you to accommodate then you can certainly say that it has turned out that the demands of the job require a good deal more flexibility than perhaps they realized it would when you were hired, but that you're happy that it has been something you have been able to provide. That can lead into a discussion about the raise, but I would not use it quite so directly as a justification for the ask.

I can only speak for myself as an employer, but here are the circumstances under which I am happy to consider a request for a raise (from any employee, not just a nanny):
- employee performs their job in an excellent fashion - on time, professional, honest, reliable, achieves all the requirements and looks for opportunities to go beyond what is asked, w/ a willing and pleasant attitude
- employee is hitting a milestone of some kind where a conversation about compensation is appropriate (end of a trial period, anniversary of employment, significant increase in responsibilities, etc...)
- employee frames the ask in an appropriate and reasonable context. In other words, the ask is for something that makes sense in the framework of compensation, is in line w/ previous raises - or if not is well justified by some change in the job, etc...
- employee understands that they are making a request, that while they may feel the ask is completely deserved (and it may well be) but it is still a request, not something to which they are automatically entitled. Any sense I get of resentment, anger or entitlement can affect how favorably I view the request.

For me, a 10 percent raise is only something I give if there's a significant change in the job, or a promotion, or some true hardship that has been weathered, so I think you need to tread very carefully if your request is for that kind of percentage. It could be viewed as excessive, possibly not affordable, and certainly troubling as a precedent if it's the first raise you're getting from me. My advice to you would be to request a conversation to talk about how they are feeling about your performance in the role. Go into that conversation ready to listen VERY carefully to what they say, and being prepared to have a range of things that would have value for you - significant raise, total healthcare cost reimbursement, additional vacation days, annual membership to some activity to do w/ the kid(s), etc... Have several things that would be rewarding for you and be prepared to be happy w/ some portion or combination of those things that might not be simply a $5k bump in compensation. If they seem to highly value you and have no significant concerns with your performance that is encouraging. If there is something more they would like you to take on to which you can easily say yes, even better.

Assuming everything seems favorable, then you can say something like "Dick and Jane, I have really enjoyed working for you and getting to take care of Little Johnnie. He is such a delight and I look forward to watching him grow and learn in coming years. I'm so glad you're pleased w/ my work also. In light of all of that, and recognizing some of the ways the job has evolved and will continue to change as I take on a larger role in XYZ, I would like to ask if we can review my compensation." Then your employers say something like, Sure - what do you have in mind. or Yes, we've thought about that and we are planning to give you a $1/hr raise. or Gosh Jen, I'm so sorry but we have no wiggle room. And you go from there. You need to play out all of those scenarios in your head and be ready w/ responses for each. Would you walk away from this job if they can't afford any raise? If they cut back on whatever is going on w/ the flexibility issue would that be appreciated or would you happily accommodate that for more money? Could you be happy with $1/hr plus 2 more vacation days? Is $3k in health insurance reimbursement better than $2k in salary bump preferable to you? Is $4k in salary preferable to $5k in insurance coverage preferable? (Don't forget that while you're taxed on salary you're also building your social security income for retirement so for some people that has value.) Be acquainted w/ the tax benefits of a contribution to health insurance vs. a raise - they might not be aware that they won't pay taxes on the insurance contribution the same way they do on wages.

Approach this all as a negotiation - assume you won't get everything you want so know what your absolute must-haves or bare minimums are. Know that it will go better if you're thinking at least as hard about how to make the employer feel like a winner in the process also - what can you offer? Assurances that you don't want to leave the job for at least a couple of years? Additional, easy flexibility? Taking on making dinner one night a week for the family? Taking over the task of sorting through/donating/purchasing clothing as the child(ren) grow? etc... The best negotiation is one where everyone walks away feeling like they got something out of it. For me, in my role as a parent employing a nanny, the things that speak to me are the knowledge that our nanny is happy and not looking for alternate work, will show up everyday with a pleasant,helpful attitude, and is always looking for extra little ways to make my life easier. That's what makes someone a standout. So what can you give to make it easier for the employers to feel good about rewarding you?

Also, while you - and only you - should be making choices about your healthcare, having insurance is important. I have helped our two nannies research and purchase health insurance because I feel strongly that they should have that protection and coverage. So I'm favorably inclined to supporting that - your employers may be also. So it might be meaningful to them that they're helping you get that coverage, even if they can't afford to cover 100% of the costs.

So overall, try to have more than one scenario that can leave you feeling pleased and rewarded - don't let everything hinge on just the $5k number, and figure out ways to give your employers some additional benefit if they are willing to come anywhere near such a significant bump for you.

Good luck!

A+ advice. I’d second all of this as an excellent negotiation framework.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent here.

$5k seems very steep, but it's hard to tell without knowing what percentage of your annual salary that is.

We have given a subsidy for health insurance in lieu of an annual raise on occasion with our nanny. It can be a great way to give a significant bump, without the tax consequences. So we have done this because it limits our tax hit and puts more cash in the nanny's pocket.

But I would give thought to the context of what you're requesting. A request for a $5k raise would be the rough equivalent of a 10% bump for our nanny - so that would feel awfully high to me and it would have to be driven by some significant increase in responsibilities or hours... But a raise request for anything up to 5% of annual salary I would consider reasonable as an ask, and well within the range of what our nanny typically receives.

So I'd think about what you're requesting from that perspective.

Thank you for this response. Let me ask you this; would you view the nanny differently if she asked for this? Would it help to be prefaced by explaining that I would not ask for this percentage in the future? One big point I have in feeling justified in this request is that they require far more flexibility than stated in the hiring process. If hey had been up front I would have initially asked for more money one year ago.

PP you're responding to here. I think you're conflating a couple of issues. If you have concerns about the flexibility they're requiring, or any other job related issue that is different from what you were hired for - then that's a conversation to have separate from the raise request. If the flexibility they need is a problem for you and if it has turned out that the job is substantively significantly different that what was presented, that is important to talk about. Don't have a conversation where you're asking for a raise (which is a negotiation) with an attitude fed by annoyance or resentment.

If the flexibility has been pretty easy for you to accommodate then you can certainly say that it has turned out that the demands of the job require a good deal more flexibility than perhaps they realized it would when you were hired, but that you're happy that it has been something you have been able to provide. That can lead into a discussion about the raise, but I would not use it quite so directly as a justification for the ask.

I can only speak for myself as an employer, but here are the circumstances under which I am happy to consider a request for a raise (from any employee, not just a nanny):
- employee performs their job in an excellent fashion - on time, professional, honest, reliable, achieves all the requirements and looks for opportunities to go beyond what is asked, w/ a willing and pleasant attitude
- employee is hitting a milestone of some kind where a conversation about compensation is appropriate (end of a trial period, anniversary of employment, significant increase in responsibilities, etc...)
- employee frames the ask in an appropriate and reasonable context. In other words, the ask is for something that makes sense in the framework of compensation, is in line w/ previous raises - or if not is well justified by some change in the job, etc...
- employee understands that they are making a request, that while they may feel the ask is completely deserved (and it may well be) but it is still a request, not something to which they are automatically entitled. Any sense I get of resentment, anger or entitlement can affect how favorably I view the request.

For me, a 10 percent raise is only something I give if there's a significant change in the job, or a promotion, or some true hardship that has been weathered, so I think you need to tread very carefully if your request is for that kind of percentage. It could be viewed as excessive, possibly not affordable, and certainly troubling as a precedent if it's the first raise you're getting from me. My advice to you would be to request a conversation to talk about how they are feeling about your performance in the role. Go into that conversation ready to listen VERY carefully to what they say, and being prepared to have a range of things that would have value for you - significant raise, total healthcare cost reimbursement, additional vacation days, annual membership to some activity to do w/ the kid(s), etc... Have several things that would be rewarding for you and be prepared to be happy w/ some portion or combination of those things that might not be simply a $5k bump in compensation. If they seem to highly value you and have no significant concerns with your performance that is encouraging. If there is something more they would like you to take on to which you can easily say yes, even better.

Assuming everything seems favorable, then you can say something like "Dick and Jane, I have really enjoyed working for you and getting to take care of Little Johnnie. He is such a delight and I look forward to watching him grow and learn in coming years. I'm so glad you're pleased w/ my work also. In light of all of that, and recognizing some of the ways the job has evolved and will continue to change as I take on a larger role in XYZ, I would like to ask if we can review my compensation." Then your employers say something like, Sure - what do you have in mind. or Yes, we've thought about that and we are planning to give you a $1/hr raise. or Gosh Jen, I'm so sorry but we have no wiggle room. And you go from there. You need to play out all of those scenarios in your head and be ready w/ responses for each. Would you walk away from this job if they can't afford any raise? If they cut back on whatever is going on w/ the flexibility issue would that be appreciated or would you happily accommodate that for more money? Could you be happy with $1/hr plus 2 more vacation days? Is $3k in health insurance reimbursement better than $2k in salary bump preferable to you? Is $4k in salary preferable to $5k in insurance coverage preferable? (Don't forget that while you're taxed on salary you're also building your social security income for retirement so for some people that has value.) Be acquainted w/ the tax benefits of a contribution to health insurance vs. a raise - they might not be aware that they won't pay taxes on the insurance contribution the same way they do on wages.

Approach this all as a negotiation - assume you won't get everything you want so know what your absolute must-haves or bare minimums are. Know that it will go better if you're thinking at least as hard about how to make the employer feel like a winner in the process also - what can you offer? Assurances that you don't want to leave the job for at least a couple of years? Additional, easy flexibility? Taking on making dinner one night a week for the family? Taking over the task of sorting through/donating/purchasing clothing as the child(ren) grow? etc... The best negotiation is one where everyone walks away feeling like they got something out of it. For me, in my role as a parent employing a nanny, the things that speak to me are the knowledge that our nanny is happy and not looking for alternate work, will show up everyday with a pleasant,helpful attitude, and is always looking for extra little ways to make my life easier. That's what makes someone a standout. So what can you give to make it easier for the employers to feel good about rewarding you?

Also, while you - and only you - should be making choices about your healthcare, having insurance is important. I have helped our two nannies research and purchase health insurance because I feel strongly that they should have that protection and coverage. So I'm favorably inclined to supporting that - your employers may be also. So it might be meaningful to them that they're helping you get that coverage, even if they can't afford to cover 100% of the costs.

So overall, try to have more than one scenario that can leave you feeling pleased and rewarded - don't let everything hinge on just the $5k number, and figure out ways to give your employers some additional benefit if they are willing to come anywhere near such a significant bump for you.

Good luck!

A+ advice. I’d second all of this as an excellent negotiation framework.

Great advice and very nice of MB to lay this out in such detail.

[Anonymous]

Most annual raises are 7-10% so ask for that much towards your health insurance premiums

[Anonymous]

Oh no raises are 3-7% sorry i was wrong they are usually cost of living which is merely 3-7% per year

[Anonymous]

For nannies it’s usually $1/hour more each year for the annual raise

[Anonymous]

I was given full health care coverage in lieu of any kind of raise this year. It is a great policy and I am very grateful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For nannies it’s usually $1/hour more each year for the annual raise

Plus $5/hr for the care of a new baby.