Quitting due to grandmothers frequent visits?
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Anonymous
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I am wanting to quit my position if almost a year due to the fact that Grandma visits once a month for 2-3 weeks. I feel like she is here 75% of my working time and it is almost impossible to do my job. She is nice enough but will tell me how to do basically everything. How to change his diaper. How to put on sock. What to dress him in. How to feed him. Whenever we attempt to go out I get a guilt trip about her wanting to spend time with her grandson. She is hyper critical of how I do everything and questions every thing I do and asks me if I asked for permission first. It drives me mad. It’s like a different position when she is here, and she’s here a lot. As the baby gets older it’s become worse. The micromanagement and how her being here affects my change. He is picked up at the slightest cry and carried around constantly. I basically barely get to spend time with him most of the day except to feed and change (which she always makes sure to “help” me with...).
My employers are fairly nice. Pay and benefits are decent. They also can be micromanage-y but overall it’s a doable job outside of the Grandma issue. I ADORE my charge and I’m certain if I didn’t love him so much I would have left months ago. I was never told upon being hired Grandma would visit so much. If I had been, I wouldn’t have accepted the positionz |
Anonymous
| Of course you can quit for this reason. Find a new job first, though. |
Anonymous
| You should tell the parents how you're feeling. |
Anonymous
Like how exactly. -dp |
Anonymous
The parents are stupid if they don't already know! |
Anonymous
I must agree. Self-absorbed parents have become the norm. Why are they having children? |
Anonymous
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I would speak to the parents and say you've been having trouble establishing boundaries and the baby is getting confused as a result. More like, don't blame the grandma, instead say it's gotten tricky with two different adults with opposing views of how things are done.
They might listen to you and do something, though it's clearly better for them in the long run to have an active and involved grandma than a happy nanny, so you never know. Let us know how it goes! |
Anonymous
+ 1. |
Anonymous
That a bit harsh. How does this situation make them self absorbed? I think they’re just first time parents who feel overwhelmed and want an extra set of hands, and that’s Grandma. Nothing wrong with it, it just doesn’t make it the best working environment for me. |
Anonymous
| PP is a lot nicer than I'd likely be. I'd just tell them her constant following you around and micromanaging has become untenable and is not the job you thought you has expected. Ask how often they expect her visits to continue in the future and ask for suggestions on how to manage them better (what you're really asking is for her to be put on a leash.) They may really think she's helping you, so it doesn't hurt to speak up and be fairly direct. |
Anonymous
| I would line up some interviews, THEN talk to the parents. That way, you have options. |
Anonymous
| Family is always going to come first. This family doesn’t need a nanny. They need a warm body for the one week a month when grandmother won’t be there doing it all herself anyway. Start shopping around for a new position and give them a reasonable amount of notice and move on. |
Anonymous
Exactly this. Give one month's notice when you have a job all lined up. |
Anonymous
Ok, I’ll give 2 weeks since I’m clearly just a warm body. Why would they need a full month if Grandma can easily do my job herself? |
Anonymous
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Grandmas are the worst when it comes to working side-by side with.
It is like a separate form of Hell. Been there. Not EVER doing that! |