Confused

[Anonymous]

I am with a family it’s almost two years. They didn’t hire me for full time but after few months they gave me hours for full time. They didn’t want to lose me . Since, I told them if they can’t give me full time hours I have to leave. They accept my request and started to give me 32 hours and gave me raise.
Now, I just get another job offer . But , the family is confused. They don’t know they want someone full time or part time. Their nanny of ten years is leaving. The kids are teen age. So they don’t know how much they need care.
The interview went well. They want my references.
Can I give them my current employer information for references? My current employer don’t know I am still looking for full time position with health insurance. They know I am looking just part time position and the new employer also looking for part time help then maybe full time ( in future there is chance they make me full time if they feel they need more care) ( for full time they have great package)
Can I tell the new family to don’t mentioned to my current employer that I am looking for fulll time (when they call them as reference)

Please need advice

[Anonymous]

No! You absolutely cannot use your current employers, who do not know you are leaving, as a reference!

And teenagers?! Ugh... You could not pay me enough...

[Anonymous]

No, OP - just no. It will not end well for you.
You cannot tell these new, potential employers to lie for you or fudge the truth. First, because they won't and second, because it tells your new, potential employers that you are a sneak and a liar.

My advice is to just look for another full time position, with benefits, with a newborn or a young family, The give notice to your current employers. Everything above board and honest.

[Anonymous]

First, make sure your current family knows why you are looking, and what exactly doesn't work for you (it is very confusing, but I think your story is that you are full time with current family, but want a part time job... however your current family actually did not want to give you full time hours but agreed to do it in order to keep you... so I guess conclusion is that circumstances changed or it doesn't make sense).

Don't say anything to the new family. It is very rare that families will discuss the difference in the positions. The new family wants to ask questions about you and that is pretty much it. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, OP - just no. It will not end well for you.
You cannot tell these new, potential employers to lie for you or fudge the truth. First, because they won't and second, because it tells your new, potential employers that you are a sneak and a liar.

My advice is to just look for another full time position, with benefits, with a newborn or a young family, The give notice to your current employers. Everything above board and honest.

Op here the new employer are confused to hire me part time or full time. They didn’t make decision yet. I don’t think I am telling them to lie for me since they didn’t offer me full time yet.

She told me I will hire you part time if things go well and I will feel I need more care then I can make you full time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No! You absolutely cannot use your current employers, who do not know you are leaving, as a reference!

And teenagers?! Ugh... You could not pay me enough...

In less you are doing household work, beyond driving and a few things, how much full time with kids in school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First, make sure your current family knows why you are looking, and what exactly doesn't work for you (it is very confusing, but I think your story is that you are full time with current family, but want a part time job... however your current family actually did not want to give you full time hours but agreed to do it in order to keep you... so I guess conclusion is that circumstances changed or it doesn't make sense).

Don't say anything to the new family. It is very rare that families will discuss the difference in the positions. The new family wants to ask questions about you and that is pretty much it. Good luck!

Op here thanks for helpful information. Yes you are right they gave me full time hours but I want health insurance. The new family offer me for health insurance if things work out and they will make me full time in future.
I don’t want to lose my current job . Since, I don’t know the new employer will offer me full time in future or not. I want to start as part time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, OP - just no. It will not end well for you.
You cannot tell these new, potential employers to lie for you or fudge the truth. First, because they won't and second, because it tells your new, potential employers that you are a sneak and a liar.

My advice is to just look for another full time position, with benefits, with a newborn or a young family, The give notice to your current employers. Everything above board and honest.

Op here the new employer are confused to hire me part time or full time. They didn’t make decision yet. I don’t think I am telling them to lie for me since they didn’t offer me full time yet.

She told me I will hire you part time if things go well and I will feel I need more care then I can make you full time.

How is this better than what you have?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No! You absolutely cannot use your current employers, who do not know you are leaving, as a reference!

And teenagers?! Ugh... You could not pay me enough...

In less you are doing household work, beyond driving and a few things, how much full time with kids in school.

Op here thanks for replies. Yes it’s more house manager then kids. Much easier then my current job.
I don’t want to leave my current employer now. I want to start the new job part time and if they will offer me full time in future then I will leave my current employer

[Anonymous]

Your current family is paying you for 40 hours and you only work 32? Leaving that for a might be full time job, someday? I don't think so. Not fair to the current employer and not prudent for you. Why would the new family with teenagers need a full time nanny? It would have to involve more than child care, like extensive housekeeping. Also the "child care" will diminish as the teens learn to drive and become more independent. This is not a good long term bet. Sounds like they were accommodating and you are not grateful. Bring up the insurance at your next annual review if you feel you want to, but don't burn your bridges by returning their generosity with deceptiveness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your current family is paying you for 40 hours and you only work 32? Leaving that for a might be full time job, someday? I don't think so. Not fair to the current employer and not prudent for you. Why would the new family with teenagers need a full time nanny? It would have to involve more than child care, like extensive housekeeping. Also the "child care" will diminish as the teens learn to drive and become more independent. This is not a good long term bet. Sounds like they were accommodating and you are not grateful. Bring up the insurance at your next annual review if you feel you want to, but don't burn your bridges by returning their generosity with deceptiveness.

Op here no they pay me for 32 hours not for 40 hours. I have one week of vacation, federal holidays and they pay me when they travel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, OP - just no. It will not end well for you.
You cannot tell these new, potential employers to lie for you or fudge the truth. First, because they won't and second, because it tells your new, potential employers that you are a sneak and a liar.

My advice is to just look for another full time position, with benefits, with a newborn or a young family, The give notice to your current employers. Everything above board and honest.

Op here the new employer are confused to hire me part time or full time. They didn’t make decision yet. I don’t think I am telling them to lie for me since they didn’t offer me full time yet.

She told me I will hire you part time if things go well and I will feel I need more care then I can make you full time.

How is this better than what you have?

I cook for current family two times but for new family I have to cook five times . I love cooking . They are teen age so don’t need my attention like two years old. They are busy in their lives. Laundry and taking boys to activities.
Now , I am taking care of two years boy. Who has tantrums mostly .

[Anonymous]

OP, you need to tell your current employer that you are looking and why. Part of that is just about fairness to your current employer so they're not caught high and dry, but part of it is also because you need them as a reference (now and in the future). As a parent, there's no way I would hire a nanny who was not willing to provide the current employer as a reference; I would question both whether there were problems and whether the nanny was seeking a new position without the current employer's knowledge (both of which would be dealbreakers).

Just have a candid conversation about the issues you've raised here. And also be aware that a family with teenagers coming off of a ten-year nanny may not end up needing full-time help, so be sure you're okay with part-time long-term before you make the leap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you need to tell your current employer that you are looking and why. Part of that is just about fairness to your current employer so they're not caught high and dry, but part of it is also because you need them as a reference (now and in the future). As a parent, there's no way I would hire a nanny who was not willing to provide the current employer as a reference; I would question both whether there were problems and whether the nanny was seeking a new position without the current employer's knowledge (both of which would be dealbreakers).

Just have a candid conversation about the issues you've raised here. And also be aware that a family with teenagers coming off of a ten-year nanny may not end up needing full-time help, so be sure you're okay with part-time long-term before you make the leap.

No one gives their current job as a reference if they’re unhappy with the job.

[Anonymous]

They might give you full time hours ? They might pay your health insurance . Don't leave a job you like for a might kind of job. Only leave if they give you full time from day 1 and health insurance from day 1 written in a contract.