My son's nanny quit and I'm so sad

[Anonymous]

My son's nanny say's she's to stressed out from my son's crying fits. She said it makes it very hard to go anywhere. He does throw screaming fits whenever we leave the house or leave an outing to go home. He also cries if he doesn't get snacks/ juice. I know he's a handful so I get it. Is there anything I can do to help her stay? She's given me plenty of time to find a replacement.

[Anonymous]

At least she told you the truth.

[Anonymous]

How old is your son?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old is your son?

3

[Anonymous]

Why is your son crying all the time? Does he get enough sleep? Enough food?

It’s amazing how kids are predictable in these ways. Unless there is some major underlying psychological problem with anxiety, problems at home, kids become 180 degrees different when they get tons of food (healthy snacks) and plenty of rest.

Is this her first job? Has she watched kids before? Ask her how much she fed him.

Sometimes I feel like I spend all day going from breakfast to snack to lunch to snack to dinner and bedtime but otherwise my child gets cranky. Even my older kids show the same pattern if they don’t get enough food and sleep.

This is why a nannying job is hard and experience matters. Does she know these things?

I would try doing more feeding and more sleeping and see if your child turns around.

Also if your DS is an infant, he might have silent reflux. It’s very common.

Where does she have to go anyway? If staying home is what your child needs, all those music classes and outings don’t matter much anyway in the long run so I would have her stay home. Order groceries online. Amazon Fresh is great. I alternate between Amazon Fresh and Amazon Prime.

[Anonymous]

I mean, amazon Now. I alternate between Amazon Fresh which has a bigger selection and Amazon Now which delivers in two hours.

[Anonymous]

He's a spoiled brat and it is your fault. Good for your former nanny.

[Anonymous]

If your 3yo is having massive screaming fits every time he has to transition then either you need a parenting class or he needs a diagnosis.

I am not being glib. That is not actually normal behavior. Yes, all 3yo melt down sometimes, but if your kid is having these fits consistently and you are just shrugging it off then you need some new strategies, stat. If you are shrugging it off because you have already read books and taken classes and nothing works then you need to talk to your ped about an evaluation.

[Anonymous]

You son is not normal, OP. You have bigger issues than keeping a nanny.

You need to get referrals from your pediatrician to child psychologists and take their advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is your son crying all the time? Does he get enough sleep? Enough food?

It’s amazing how kids are predictable in these ways. Unless there is some major underlying psychological problem with anxiety, problems at home, kids become 180 degrees different when they get tons of food (healthy snacks) and plenty of rest.

Is this her first job? Has she watched kids before? Ask her how much she fed him.

Sometimes I feel like I spend all day going from breakfast to snack to lunch to snack to dinner and bedtime but otherwise my child gets cranky. Even my older kids show the same pattern if they don’t get enough food and sleep.

This is why a nannying job is hard and experience matters. Does she know these things?

I would try doing more feeding and more sleeping and see if your child turns around.

Also if your DS is an infant, he might have silent reflux. It’s very common.

Where does she have to go anyway? If staying home is what your child needs, all those music classes and outings don’t matter much anyway in the long run so I would have her stay home. Order groceries online. Amazon Fresh is great. I alternate between Amazon Fresh and Amazon Prime.

Oh, come on! This child needs outside help! This is not the nanny's fault nor is it the nanny's responsibility to "fix" what a child does when she is not there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your 3yo is having massive screaming fits every time he has to transition then either you need a parenting class or he needs a diagnosis.

I am not being glib. That is not actually normal behavior. Yes, all 3yo melt down sometimes, but if your kid is having these fits consistently and you are just shrugging it off then you need some new strategies, stat. If you are shrugging it off because you have already read books and taken classes and nothing works then you need to talk to your ped about an evaluation.

This. An occasional fit? Sure, it can happen. But for every transition that’s not typical nor should it be happening multiple times a day for a 3 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is your son crying all the time? Does he get enough sleep? Enough food?

It’s amazing how kids are predictable in these ways. Unless there is some major underlying psychological problem with anxiety, problems at home, kids become 180 degrees different when they get tons of food (healthy snacks) and plenty of rest.

Is this her first job? Has she watched kids before? Ask her how much she fed him.

Sometimes I feel like I spend all day going from breakfast to snack to lunch to snack to dinner and bedtime but otherwise my child gets cranky. Even my older kids show the same pattern if they don’t get enough food and sleep.

This is why a nannying job is hard and experience matters. Does she know these things?

I would try doing more feeding and more sleeping and see if your child turns around.

Also if your DS is an infant, he might have silent reflux. It’s very common.

Where does she have to go anyway? If staying home is what your child needs, all those music classes and outings don’t matter much anyway in the long run so I would have her stay home. Order groceries online. Amazon Fresh is great. I alternate between Amazon Fresh and Amazon Prime.

He refuses to take a nap and basically eats dry snacks all day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is your son crying all the time? Does he get enough sleep? Enough food?

It’s amazing how kids are predictable in these ways. Unless there is some major underlying psychological problem with anxiety, problems at home, kids become 180 degrees different when they get tons of food (healthy snacks) and plenty of rest.

Is this her first job? Has she watched kids before? Ask her how much she fed him.

Sometimes I feel like I spend all day going from breakfast to snack to lunch to snack to dinner and bedtime but otherwise my child gets cranky. Even my older kids show the same pattern if they don’t get enough food and sleep.

This is why a nannying job is hard and experience matters. Does she know these things?

I would try doing more feeding and more sleeping and see if your child turns around.

Also if your DS is an infant, he might have silent reflux. It’s very common.

Where does she have to go anyway? If staying home is what your child needs, all those music classes and outings don’t matter much anyway in the long run so I would have her stay home. Order groceries online. Amazon Fresh is great. I alternate between Amazon Fresh and Amazon Prime.

He refuses to take a nap and basically eats dry snacks all day.

Sleep begets more sleep. When I first had my first kid and I only had one kids and wanted to do everything right I read a ton of sleep books. Of course now I think I must've been crazy to obsess so much after years and more kids but anyway,

what I remember reading is that sleep begets more sleep. If your child is tired, adrenaline goes up and he goes into fight or flight mode. Then it's even harder to get him to go to sleep. He has to sleep and before he gets to that point where the adrenaline is too high. The sleep books say if your child will not sleep at 9pm, put him to bed at 8pm and you will be surprised. I'm sure it'll be tough to do it because it's not in his routine but try to make him sleep before it's been too long. Will he sleep if you drive him around? Maybe way before your naptime, plan to drive him around for 2 hours. Do what you have to do to get him to sleep. Once he gets into a pattern of a lot of napping, perhaps he won't fight the naps as much and you can make it more routine at home.

The dry snacks sound concerning but at least he is eating. Will he eat fruit?

Three is a hard age too. My daughter for some reason had epic tantrums at the grocery stores then. I mean, rolling around on the ground outside where the carts go and she would be so rigid and fight me that I couldn't even pick her up. It was a phase. She wouldn't think of rolling around outside now because it's not cool (for a 5 year old).

It could be something and you could seek an opinion if it does not improve with food and nap but I think it could be normal as well and there is some need that is not being met. Probably the sleep, it sounds like.

If your nanny wants to leave, I wouldn't hold onto her. Plenty of other women who would like an opportunity. But what you are describing doesn't sound common either and I would make plans to try some different things at home, and take time to find a new nanny.

This is a tough phase and hang in there. It will get better in years. Right now is a time for survival.

It might be hard to try to get your son to nap when he doesn't want, and try new things with his routine but ultimately you'll have a calmer, happier kid and your life will be easier sooner than waiting for your son to grow up.

And ignore these bitter nannies on here. They do not hang out at DCUM when they are happy and satisfied with their nanny jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is your son crying all the time? Does he get enough sleep? Enough food?

It’s amazing how kids are predictable in these ways. Unless there is some major underlying psychological problem with anxiety, problems at home, kids become 180 degrees different when they get tons of food (healthy snacks) and plenty of rest.

Is this her first job? Has she watched kids before? Ask her how much she fed him.

Sometimes I feel like I spend all day going from breakfast to snack to lunch to snack to dinner and bedtime but otherwise my child gets cranky. Even my older kids show the same pattern if they don’t get enough food and sleep.

This is why a nannying job is hard and experience matters. Does she know these things?

I would try doing more feeding and more sleeping and see if your child turns around.

Also if your DS is an infant, he might have silent reflux. It’s very common.

Where does she have to go anyway? If staying home is what your child needs, all those music classes and outings don’t matter much anyway in the long run so I would have her stay home. Order groceries online. Amazon Fresh is great. I alternate between Amazon Fresh and Amazon Prime.

He refuses to take a nap and basically eats dry snacks all day.

Sleep begets more sleep. When I first had my first kid and I only had one kids and wanted to do everything right I read a ton of sleep books. Of course now I think I must've been crazy to obsess so much after years and more kids but anyway,

what I remember reading is that sleep begets more sleep. If your child is tired, adrenaline goes up and he goes into fight or flight mode. Then it's even harder to get him to go to sleep. He has to sleep and before he gets to that point where the adrenaline is too high. The sleep books say if your child will not sleep at 9pm, put him to bed at 8pm and you will be surprised. I'm sure it'll be tough to do it because it's not in his routine but try to make him sleep before it's been too long. Will he sleep if you drive him around? Maybe way before your naptime, plan to drive him around for 2 hours. Do what you have to do to get him to sleep. Once he gets into a pattern of a lot of napping, perhaps he won't fight the naps as much and you can make it more routine at home.

The dry snacks sound concerning but at least he is eating. Will he eat fruit?

Three is a hard age too. My daughter for some reason had epic tantrums at the grocery stores then. I mean, rolling around on the ground outside where the carts go and she would be so rigid and fight me that I couldn't even pick her up. It was a phase. She wouldn't think of rolling around outside now because it's not cool (for a 5 year old).

It could be something and you could seek an opinion if it does not improve with food and nap but I think it could be normal as well and there is some need that is not being met. Probably the sleep, it sounds like.

If your nanny wants to leave, I wouldn't hold onto her. Plenty of other women who would like an opportunity. But what you are describing doesn't sound common either and I would make plans to try some different things at home, and take time to find a new nanny.

This is a tough phase and hang in there. It will get better in years. Right now is a time for survival.

It might be hard to try to get your son to nap when he doesn't want, and try new things with his routine but ultimately you'll have a calmer, happier kid and your life will be easier sooner than waiting for your son to grow up.

And ignore these bitter nannies on here. They do not hang out at DCUM when they are happy and satisfied with their nanny jobs.

I am a PP above telling OP to get to a psychologist. I think there is something wrong with her son and I have never been a nanny - just an MB and preschool director. Her son's acting out is severe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is your son crying all the time? Does he get enough sleep? Enough food?

It’s amazing how kids are predictable in these ways. Unless there is some major underlying psychological problem with anxiety, problems at home, kids become 180 degrees different when they get tons of food (healthy snacks) and plenty of rest.

Is this her first job? Has she watched kids before? Ask her how much she fed him.

Sometimes I feel like I spend all day going from breakfast to snack to lunch to snack to dinner and bedtime but otherwise my child gets cranky. Even my older kids show the same pattern if they don’t get enough food and sleep.

This is why a nannying job is hard and experience matters. Does she know these things?

I would try doing more feeding and more sleeping and see if your child turns around.

Also if your DS is an infant, he might have silent reflux. It’s very common.

Where does she have to go anyway? If staying home is what your child needs, all those music classes and outings don’t matter much anyway in the long run so I would have her stay home. Order groceries online. Amazon Fresh is great. I alternate between Amazon Fresh and Amazon Prime.

He refuses to take a nap and basically eats dry snacks all day.

Sleep begets more sleep. When I first had my first kid and I only had one kids and wanted to do everything right I read a ton of sleep books. Of course now I think I must've been crazy to obsess so much after years and more kids but anyway,

what I remember reading is that sleep begets more sleep. If your child is tired, adrenaline goes up and he goes into fight or flight mode. Then it's even harder to get him to go to sleep. He has to sleep and before he gets to that point where the adrenaline is too high. The sleep books say if your child will not sleep at 9pm, put him to bed at 8pm and you will be surprised. I'm sure it'll be tough to do it because it's not in his routine but try to make him sleep before it's been too long. Will he sleep if you drive him around? Maybe way before your naptime, plan to drive him around for 2 hours. Do what you have to do to get him to sleep. Once he gets into a pattern of a lot of napping, perhaps he won't fight the naps as much and you can make it more routine at home.

The dry snacks sound concerning but at least he is eating. Will he eat fruit?

Three is a hard age too. My daughter for some reason had epic tantrums at the grocery stores then. I mean, rolling around on the ground outside where the carts go and she would be so rigid and fight me that I couldn't even pick her up. It was a phase. She wouldn't think of rolling around outside now because it's not cool (for a 5 year old).

It could be something and you could seek an opinion if it does not improve with food and nap but I think it could be normal as well and there is some need that is not being met. Probably the sleep, it sounds like.

If your nanny wants to leave, I wouldn't hold onto her. Plenty of other women who would like an opportunity. But what you are describing doesn't sound common either and I would make plans to try some different things at home, and take time to find a new nanny.

This is a tough phase and hang in there. It will get better in years. Right now is a time for survival.

It might be hard to try to get your son to nap when he doesn't want, and try new things with his routine but ultimately you'll have a calmer, happier kid and your life will be easier sooner than waiting for your son to grow up.

And ignore these bitter nannies on here. They do not hang out at DCUM when they are happy and satisfied with their nanny jobs.

13:02 here and I am not a nanny. I am an MB.