Parents with nannies vs. parents without nannies

[Anonymous]

I’ve found that many parents who’ve employed nannies since day 1 tend to lack confidence in their ability to perform certain parenting tasks.

I’ve started most of my nanny positions with first time parents when my charges were under 6 weeks old. Many many many of these families don’t believe it’s possible to perform tasks parents without nannies do daily.

My last three families have been very bad about this. Neither parent believes they can take any of their children out of the houses by themselves. They don’t believe it’s possinle to get ready for work and watch their children at the same time. They don’t think it’s possible to cook or clean when in charge of their own children.

Of course, it’s much easier to do these tasks with help, but they are possible. It’s harder and a pain, but doable. My current set of parents don’t think it’s possible to bathe their infant alone.

Now I’ve had some parents who could do it all, and often better than I can. But it seems like nannies become crutches for a lot of people.

[Anonymous]

Being a nanny and having children are sooo different OP. It's really hard to understand unless you go through it yourself. You sound like a know it all.

[Anonymous]

I have been a nanny for nearly two decades and have never found this to be true. Of course the new parents would turn to me for advise or ask how I do something but none have been anywhere close to as incompetent as you describe!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve found that many parents who’ve employed nannies since day 1 tend to lack confidence in their ability to perform certain parenting tasks.

I’ve started most of my nanny positions with first time parents when my charges were under 6 weeks old. Many many many of these families don’t believe it’s possible to perform tasks parents without nannies do daily.

My last three families have been very bad about this. Neither parent believes they can take any of their children out of the houses by themselves. They don’t believe it’s possinle to get ready for work and watch their children at the same time. They don’t think it’s possible to cook or clean when in charge of their own children.

Of course, it’s much easier to do these tasks with help, but they are possible. It’s harder and a pain, but doable. My current set of parents don’t think it’s possible to bathe their infant alone.

Now I’ve had some parents who could do it all, and often better than I can. But it seems like nannies become crutches for a lot of people.

I have never had employers as fearful as you have described but I did have the bolded with one of my employers. It took both of them to bathe the baby so they assumed I couldn't do it alone. I showed them once how I did it and that was that - I bathed the baby alone before they got home from work every day after that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being a nanny and having children are sooo different OP. It's really hard to understand unless you go through it yourself. You sound like a know it all.

+1

It's extremely stressful. You overthink everything.

[Anonymous]

OP you're the perfect mom until you have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you're the perfect mom until you have kids.

So true. I don't have kids, I am a nanny, but I agree 100%. OP is a bit of a know-it-all.

[Anonymous]

I suppose that could be true if some parents. We have alive our nanny so I get dd up and dress for work all on my own before she comes in. If dd had a really early morning we din breakfast before nanny comes even. Dh is gone by 6am. I have no problem doing anything the nanny does. I choose to be lazy and sometimes inefficient but that’s on me. Dd also behaves differently for the nanny and is less whiny. When I’m home it’s all mama all the time and she wants to be held more and participate in the cooking etc. i can still make dinner with her underfoot and certainly take her out on weekends or a weeknight grocery run without issue.

[Anonymous]

Wow. We hired a nanny for our first child, but the nanny didn't start until DD was 15 weeks old - a week before I was going back to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. We hired a nanny for our first child, but the nanny didn't start until DD was 15 weeks old - a week before I was going back to work.

Wow are you always this smug?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. We hired a nanny for our first child, but the nanny didn't start until DD was 15 weeks old - a week before I was going back to work.

Wow are you always this smug?

I'm not smug. I'm saddened and confused. Someone is well off enough to afford a nanny but doesn't have a job that gives them more maternity leave than six weeks? Even a puppy isn't supposed to be away from their mother before eight weeks old!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. We hired a nanny for our first child, but the nanny didn't start until DD was 15 weeks old - a week before I was going back to work.

Wow are you always this smug?

I'm not smug. I'm saddened and confused. Someone is well off enough to afford a nanny but doesn't have a job that gives them more maternity leave than six weeks? Even a puppy isn't supposed to be away from their mother before eight weeks old!

Most parents don’t have nannies in the evenings or on weekends and holidays. They take care of their kids during those hours and usually manage quite well!

[Anonymous]

i used to nanny for a family who currently employs two full time + nannies (45 hours each on a normal week). they truly believe that it is impossible for one person to feed the kids, put them to bed, bathe them, or do anything else without multiple people. they have help in the evenings as well as on weekends, and go out on frequent date nights. only one of the parents works, and they're both home much of the time you're working. they rarely help-instead they're napping, having friends over, reading the paper on the couch, or working on their hobbies. it was sad and strange that they had so little interest in being hands on with the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i used to nanny for a family who currently employs two full time + nannies (45 hours each on a normal week). they truly believe that it is impossible for one person to feed the kids, put them to bed, bathe them, or do anything else without multiple people. they have help in the evenings as well as on weekends, and go out on frequent date nights. only one of the parents works, and they're both home much of the time you're working. they rarely help-instead they're napping, having friends over, reading the paper on the couch, or working on their hobbies. it was sad and strange that they had so little interest in being hands on with the kids.

I would love to have this set up for about two weeks. Sounds like a heavenly stay-cation!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. We hired a nanny for our first child, but the nanny didn't start until DD was 15 weeks old - a week before I was going back to work.

Wow are you always this smug?

I'm not smug. I'm saddened and confused. Someone is well off enough to afford a nanny but doesn't have a job that gives them more maternity leave than six weeks? Even a puppy isn't supposed to be away from their mother before eight weeks old!

I just started my own business and set projects in motion before I got pregnant. Prepare to be horrified, Smug One, but so was writing checks to my contractors during labor and had our beloved nanny start when DD was five days old and I went to the building site. I worked from home until she was six months - and I really worked. I love my brilliant now two year old and we are very close.

I love being a mom but I also love building buildings!!