Negotiating Class Times

[Anonymous]

I live in Seattle, not DC area but had a question and this is the only forum I could easily find other than Au Pair Mom.

We are hosting our first Au Pair for school aged kids (I have a kindergartener and 2nd grader) but she's our 5th Au Pair total. Previously our APs worked 45 hours in the week and always had weekends off. They usually took classes in the evenings or one did the online thing with UCLA. This AP has only been working about 25 hours per week and 2 half Saturdays per month (but could be Sundays, we just have a half weekend day off for errands, etc.)

This AP signed up for a class that was during the day MWF for a couple of hours. Turns out she has class this coming Friday (which is a school day off) and Thanksgiving week (when kids also don't have school). I'm not going to make her skip class this time around and will take the time off from work but she said she wants to take the next session of the same class in the Winter and I'm having a hard time with it because I don't want to have to take time off from work for her to attend class when there are so many other weekend and evening options for her (and after this quarter she will be done with her "required" credits anyway so the additional quarter is her own choice although we will pay for it as part of her $500). I know she likes her class though and has made a few friends.

Has anyone encountered this? I am thinking I will tell her she can take it but will need to take any of the teacher inservice days and mid-winter break off from HER school as it's not on the same schedule as ours. Fair? Other suggestions?

[Anonymous]

I'd say no. We also caved and allowed AP to take a class when the kids are off school. We won't do it again. If she wants/is allowed to skip the classes when the kids are in school, fine. But otherwise, no. The class times need to be mutually agreeable.

[Anonymous]

Her work (childcare) is the priority and comes first. When there is a conflict, childcare trumps all else. You may want to be nice and allow a one off but if it is a burden on the HF, then the answer is no - AP will have to work and miss an occasional class.

All classes should be agreed by all parties before AP enrolls. It may be necessary to say the HF will agree to these classes with the caveat that AP will skip class when it conflicts with her AP work. So, if HK unexpectedly must stay home because he is sick that day, then AP must work and miss her class.

[Anonymous]

We had a similar issue. Our APs always took day classes and it would conflict with kids days off. Thankfully I would arrange to work from home, or for AP to drop off the kids t grandma for the 3hrs needed for her to go to class on those days and it all worked fine.

For us, day classes were always better since we preferred AP working until bed time so night classes would interfere with her schedule in other ways.

But if we were not able to make those special accommodations with working remotely or with grandma, I would have asked her to take classes on other days. Those weekend classes are great and only 2 of our APs took advantage of them.

[Anonymous]

When AP requests a class, I check my schedule. AP works one evening a week on a rotation, following my same work schedule. Typically there is one week with a conflict, and I tell her she will have to miss that class. I do try to find other coverage, but I don't promise it upfront two months out. School vacations are APs time to shine. That said, could you tell her that she will be scheduled to work, but is welcome to find playdates for your kids or pay for a sitter for those times if she really doesn't want to take another class.
As a professor, I have an absence policy for my class. One absence will not hurt your overall standing (a full week is problematic, but not insurmountable when one can plan ahead and keep up with the coursework). So, does she love it enough to miss a week, or would she rather take a full class at another time?

[Anonymous]

Agree with PPs. AP needs to choose a class that either doesn't conflict with her work hours or be willing to miss a class. I find this really isn't a big issue where we live. For example, AP has class 9:30-11:30 on Mon and Wed. The kids were off from school this past Mon, but AP didn't have class either. I would count up how many times that is really going to be a problem. Honestly, these classes they are taking aren't going to make or break their future academic and/or professional career and for most of my APs have just been a box checker. One of our APs did a couple of weekend classes that did require her to leave early on Fridays so I had to arrange to be home to pick up kids from school. Kind of annoying but only happened twice.

[Anonymous]

Given its only an issue on holidays, I would try to find alternative care. Its going to be near impossible to find a decent class that goes along the kids schedule. Can you put the kids in a camp?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Given its only an issue on holidays, I would try to find alternative care. Its going to be near impossible to find a decent class that goes along the kids schedule. Can you put the kids in a camp?

+1

She obviously picked a class that doesn't conflict with her usual working hours but she cannot be expected to take every school day off, snow day, sick day etc. into consideration when picking a class (or even just know about them). I assume you told her it was okay to sign up for this one? I would definitiely try to find alternative care for Friday and especially the Thanksgiving week so that she doesn't have to miss four classes.

Now for the winter class... if it's not part of her required credit and it still fits into her $500 educational stipend I think asking her to miss a few sessions sounds reasonable. She doesn't necessarily have to take the course and she isn't paying for it out of her pocket so missing a couple classes for work doesn't sound too bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Given its only an issue on holidays, I would try to find alternative care. Its going to be near impossible to find a decent class that goes along the kids schedule. Can you put the kids in a camp?

+1

She obviously picked a class that doesn't conflict with her usual working hours but she cannot be expected to take every school day off, snow day, sick day etc. into consideration when picking a class (or even just know about them). I assume you told her it was okay to sign up for this one? I would definitiely try to find alternative care for Friday and especially the Thanksgiving week so that she doesn't have to miss four classes.

Now for the winter class... if it's not part of her required credit and it still fits into her $500 educational stipend I think asking her to miss a few sessions sounds reasonable. She doesn't necessarily have to take the course and she isn't paying for it out of her pocket so missing a couple classes for work doesn't sound too bad.

I had an AP who was finished with her required credits but loved to go to class. She continued to attend classes (which were optional since she already fulfilled her AP requirements). I had no problem telling her to skip a class when I needed her to work. My childcare comes first before her optional hobby.

Many of us like having an AP because of the flexibility. If we have to scramble to cover snow days, sick days, holidays and not be able to use an AP because it inconveniences her, then that defeats the reason of flexibility and why I put up with all the AP drama.

[Anonymous]

Agree with above poster that flexibility is our only reason for dealing with AP drama, otherwise I would hire a local sitter. When we match, there is agreement that if kids are sick, the AP will skip class.

[Anonymous]

This.

"Many of us like having an AP because of the flexibility. If we have to scramble to cover snow days, sick days, holidays and not be able to use an AP because it inconveniences her, then that defeats the reason of flexibility and why I put up with all the AP drama."


And let's all be honest. These courses are likely not giving AP actual college course credits that she can use for any future education in her country. Nor do APs "fail" these courses and not get the "credit" needed to fulfill Visa requirements because they miss a few classes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Given its only an issue on holidays, I would try to find alternative care. Its going to be near impossible to find a decent class that goes along the kids schedule. Can you put the kids in a camp?

+1

She obviously picked a class that doesn't conflict with her usual working hours but she cannot be expected to take every school day off, snow day, sick day etc. into consideration when picking a class (or even just know about them). I assume you told her it was okay to sign up for this one? I would definitiely try to find alternative care for Friday and especially the Thanksgiving week so that she doesn't have to miss four classes.

Now for the winter class... if it's not part of her required credit and it still fits into her $500 educational stipend I think asking her to miss a few sessions sounds reasonable. She doesn't necessarily have to take the course and she isn't paying for it out of her pocket so missing a couple classes for work doesn't sound too bad.

I had an AP who was finished with her required credits but loved to go to class. She continued to attend classes (which were optional since she already fulfilled her AP requirements). I had no problem telling her to skip a class when I needed her to work. My childcare comes first before her optional hobby.

Many of us like having an AP because of the flexibility. If we have to scramble to cover snow days, sick days, holidays and not be able to use an AP because it inconveniences her, then that defeats the reason of flexibility and why I put up with all the AP drama.

How is education a hobby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Given its only an issue on holidays, I would try to find alternative care. Its going to be near impossible to find a decent class that goes along the kids schedule. Can you put the kids in a camp?

+1

She obviously picked a class that doesn't conflict with her usual working hours but she cannot be expected to take every school day off, snow day, sick day etc. into consideration when picking a class (or even just know about them). I assume you told her it was okay to sign up for this one? I would definitiely try to find alternative care for Friday and especially the Thanksgiving week so that she doesn't have to miss four classes.

Now for the winter class... if it's not part of her required credit and it still fits into her $500 educational stipend I think asking her to miss a few sessions sounds reasonable. She doesn't necessarily have to take the course and she isn't paying for it out of her pocket so missing a couple classes for work doesn't sound too bad.

I had an AP who was finished with her required credits but loved to go to class. She continued to attend classes (which were optional since she already fulfilled her AP requirements). I had no problem telling her to skip a class when I needed her to work. My childcare comes first before her optional hobby.

Many of us like having an AP because of the flexibility. If we have to scramble to cover snow days, sick days, holidays and not be able to use an AP because it inconveniences her, then that defeats the reason of flexibility and why I put up with all the AP drama.

How is education a hobby?

From: https://www.merriam-webster.com/thesaurus/hobby
an activity outside of one's regular occupation that is engaged in primarily for pleasure

AP completed all education requirements by this time. She was attending a class for pleasure. She was not earning any credits that she can transfer later to another degree or certificate program. She was not officially enrolled as a student or an auditor. She did not buy any textbooks. She did not do any homework or take any tests. She only sat in the class with the permission of the instructor. Her presence was not recorded or recognized by the college. She was enjoying the experience of being in the classroom ... for pleasure, because the instructor was kind enough to let her take a seat in his room.

[Anonymous]

You're being far too nice.

I list out every single school conference/teacher training days/breaks/etc. on the kids' calendars as black out days. If something AP wants conflicts with any of those days, then the answer is no and this is clear from the time I get a hold of the school calendars. This means the Friday after Thanksgiving is a no and the entire time between Christmas and New Year's.

Does this mean that she'll have to work these days? Probably, but not certainly. However, I prefer to be up front that she shouldn't schedule any classes or anything else that conflict with those days.

An AP is not worth the effort if you still have to scramble for alternate arrangements for childcare. The program works for us right now because of this flexibility AND screening for drivers (much harder to find a driving nanny than a non-driving nanny and it seems like most APs claim they can drive).

[Anonymous]

An AP is not worth the effort if you still have to scramble for alternate arrangements for childcare.

Exactly. We do the same and during the interview, training, and hard and electronic copy of school calendar provided.