Does the nanny forum make anyone else think twice about hiring a nanny?

[Anonymous]

I have never had a nanny and came here to start learning. The "not my job" attitudes and obsession with money really have turned me off. I don't want someone in my village who is constantly critical, resentful, or thinking about how to squeeze me for cash. Daycare has been great for my child, but I was looking at a nanny in order to make life easier at home. After reading this forum, it seems like my home life would have a lot of drama and judgement.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here.

I agree there are really nasty comments on this board but you shouldn't only pay attention to the negative comments.

The nanny/family relationship can be just wonderful when everything is determined from the beginning. Each side has to be honest about what they want/need.
Yes, money is important, it is a job and we need to be compensated correctly

The only times I have been resentful towards my employers were when I was not respected. For example when they were constantly late and didn't even ask if that was ok or simply apologized. Most times I do not mind that they're late, I understand they have demanding jobs but just being nice and saying "sorry Nanny but I don't think I'll be able to make it home on time, is it ok with you?" and paying extra for that over time of course.
Some other examples were : adding tasks to my job that are not related to the kids like ironing the father's shirts without asking me if it's ok and not even offering extra money for it.

Some things are not my job but I will happily do them if I feel like it.

[Anonymous]

But have you looked at it from the other side OP?
I have had trouble with my bosses arriving home late, not paying me a guaranteed wage and generally being selfish. It works both ways, it isn't just the nanny in the wrong all the time. Respect and treating nanny as an equal will go a long way towards a happy working relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have never had a nanny and came here to start learning. The "not my job" attitudes and obsession with money really have turned me off. I don't want someone in my village who is constantly critical, resentful, or thinking about how to squeeze me for cash. Daycare has been great for my child, but I was looking at a nanny in order to make life easier at home. After reading this forum, it seems like my home life would have a lot of drama and judgement.

I am glad it worked out for you, OP. Not everyone is cut out to be an employer.

I know, for me, I wanted my baby to have one loving teacher/caregiver with her during the day and not be institutionalized. Her comfort, security and education was far more important to me that wanting my "life easier at home". Turns out our amazing nanny did make my life easier but that was never my intent in choosing a nanny for my child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have never had a nanny and came here to start learning. The "not my job" attitudes and obsession with money really have turned me off. I don't want someone in my village who is constantly critical, resentful, or thinking about how to squeeze me for cash. Daycare has been great for my child, but I was looking at a nanny in order to make life easier at home. After reading this forum, it seems like my home life would have a lot of drama and judgement.

I am glad it worked out for you, OP. Not everyone is cut out to be an employer.

I know, for me, I wanted my baby to have one loving teacher/caregiver with her during the day and not be institutionalized. Her comfort, security and education was far more important to me that wanting my "life easier at home". Turns out our amazing nanny did make my life easier but that was never my intent in choosing a nanny for my child.

If you really wanted the best possible caregiver, you would have stayed home, so please stop with the "I didn't want my child to be institutionalized" crap.

[Anonymous]

No, I never considered daycare as I worked in a highly sought-after daycare throughout graduate school. I saw enough of daycare to know that I never wanted that upbringing for my children.
We are blessed with an educated, experienced and mature nanny who my children love dearly. Our nanny is my right hand and a calming, positive presence. I could not be as good a mother without her.
But yes - being a nanny is her livelihood and I respect that. I would never dream of insulting her or taking advantage of her. Nanny and I share a mutual respect. She gives my children not only what daycare could never give them but also talents that DH and I can't give them either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have never had a nanny and came here to start learning. The "not my job" attitudes and obsession with money really have turned me off. I don't want someone in my village who is constantly critical, resentful, or thinking about how to squeeze me for cash. Daycare has been great for my child, but I was looking at a nanny in order to make life easier at home. After reading this forum, it seems like my home life would have a lot of drama and judgement.

I am glad it worked out for you, OP. Not everyone is cut out to be an employer.

I know, for me, I wanted my baby to have one loving teacher/caregiver with her during the day and not be institutionalized. Her comfort, security and education was far more important to me that wanting my "life easier at home". Turns out our amazing nanny did make my life easier but that was never my intent in choosing a nanny for my child.

If you really wanted the best possible caregiver, you would have stayed home, so please stop with the "I didn't want my child to be institutionalized" crap.

Calm down, PP, and stop embarrassing yourself. I am not the best teacher for my child - my nanny has her degree in Early Childhood Education while my undergraduate degree is in microbiology. I do not think I would make a good elementary school teacher anymore than I think I am the best teacher for my now two-year old.

[Anonymous]

PP here and I think OP is just another pathetic troll. I am sorry I bothered to respond.

[Anonymous]

OP here, a little more about me. My child is 2.5. I was SAH with him FT. At 18 months, I started him in a 3 hour program every day. He thrived, and I immediately noticed how his social skills improved. At 24 months, I went back to work full time. I have accepted a new job that will start in January. The hours are longer, and I'd like to hire someone who will pick up DS from daycare around 3 so that he is not "institutionslized" for too long during the day. I'd also like that person to take care of things around the house, like DS's laundry and meal prep, so that he can eat higher quality/better/more variety than what I can come up with. I'm agnostic as to whether that person has degrees in early childhood education. I just want someone who is caring, attentive, and HELPFUL. My new job pays really well, and we can afford to pay someone well, but the overall tone of people here is...ugly.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you offer competitive pay and good work conditions, you will find someone great, just make sure to check the references and to have a trial period.
You will be fine as long as you are not too demanding. Your child's laundry and meal prep is completely reasonable
Good luck !

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, a little more about me. My child is 2.5. I was SAH with him FT. At 18 months, I started him in a 3 hour program every day. He thrived, and I immediately noticed how his social skills improved. At 24 months, I went back to work full time. I have accepted a new job that will start in January. The hours are longer, and I'd like to hire someone who will pick up DS from daycare around 3 so that he is not "institutionslized" for too long during the day. I'd also like that person to take care of things around the house, like DS's laundry and meal prep, so that he can eat higher quality/better/more variety than what I can come up with. I'm agnostic as to whether that person has degrees in early childhood education. I just want someone who is caring, attentive, and HELPFUL. My new job pays really well, and we can afford to pay someone well, but the overall tone of people here is...ugly.

With all due respect, your initial post was accusatory and quite ugly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, a little more about me. My child is 2.5. I was SAH with him FT. At 18 months, I started him in a 3 hour program every day. He thrived, and I immediately noticed how his social skills improved. At 24 months, I went back to work full time. I have accepted a new job that will start in January. The hours are longer, and I'd like to hire someone who will pick up DS from daycare around 3 so that he is not "institutionslized" for too long during the day. I'd also like that person to take care of things around the house, like DS's laundry and meal prep, so that he can eat higher quality/better/more variety than what I can come up with. I'm agnostic as to whether that person has degrees in early childhood education. I just want someone who is caring, attentive, and HELPFUL. My new job pays really well, and we can afford to pay someone well, but the overall tone of people here is...ugly.

With all due respect, your initial post was accusatory and quite ugly.

That's my experience. Please share your experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have never had a nanny and came here to start learning. The "not my job" attitudes and obsession with money really have turned me off. I don't want someone in my village who is constantly critical, resentful, or thinking about how to squeeze me for cash. Daycare has been great for my child, but I was looking at a nanny in order to make life easier at home. After reading this forum, it seems like my home life would have a lot of drama and judgement.

Actually, OP's initial post summarizes this forum really well. There are a few people on here whose answer to everything is "not the nanny's job," and "pay her more." Only to be eclipsed by whoever it is that suggests that a family hire a second nanny to help out if their first nanny is unable to do the job.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here. It's sad that both nannies and parents on here are so rude.

[Anonymous]

Haha daycare is great because they treat kids with tough dicipline, there's no mommy daddy to spoil them. What I dislike from some parents is that they laugh at the nanny and kid when she is playing, interacting with thier baby, singing songs, etc. Makes a nanny wanna quit.