Does the nanny forum make anyone else think twice about hiring a nanny?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have never had a nanny and came here to start learning. The "not my job" attitudes and obsession with money really have turned me off. I don't want someone in my village who is constantly critical, resentful, or thinking about how to squeeze me for cash. Daycare has been great for my child, but I was looking at a nanny in order to make life easier at home. After reading this forum, it seems like my home life would have a lot of drama and judgement.

Just look at it this way.

If you read the parents forum....about 99.9% of those people should never have children.

+1 Same with the Relationship forums... Wow, those people should live alone on an island.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, My opinion is that maybe 25% of this forum is serious, helpful advice or interesting stories about the nanny-family relationship. The other 75% i read for laughs (of either ridiculous nannies or ridiculous MBs) if you don't take things here too seriously it's an entertaining forum.

I do find it odd how a lot of parents here insist that having an ECE-degreed nanny is a must. there are some marginal diminishing returns if you can afford it to be sure, but as someone who was raised by a "village" of extended relatives (many of whom didn't go to college) in another country, I honestly have to say many of the things that make a person a good role model and caretaker for a very young child have less to do with formal education than with attitude and personality.

The problem is that we have very small families in the US, and often no extended families around. So an ECE degree at least means the person knows something about childhood development beyond the small number of kids she may have babysat or nannied for before. Otherwise, plenty of Americans become adults without ever taking care of a young child, or really having much interaction with one. They then develop strange expectations about what children are like at particular ages.

That said, I never insisted on a college degree; I just wanted to see a lot of experience around young children.

[Anonymous]

The reason having a nanny with an early childhood education degree is valuable is that it means a nanny has studied many different approaches to educating and communicating with young children. There is not one right way to raise children, and many many parts of this job involve judgment calls. If you have a nanny who is qualified only by the fact that she has been a nanny for several years, all that means is that so far she has been able to work reasonably well within the family structures she has encountered. A nanny who has worked with many families can demonstrate that she can be flexible and honor parents wishes, but you never really know whether she was able to take the lead on problem-solving around tricky behaviors and stages or whether she was just good at taking orders.

And ECE gives a nanny a broader toolbox to bring to your family, and a broader understanding of the fact that every child and every family is different. I don't think it is absolutely necessary, but the idea that all you need is a nice disposition and a love for children in order to be an amazing nanny is pretty silly. You can successfully raise children as a parent with those qualifications (usually), but as a nanny you'll either need constant micromanaging or you will just start doing things in the way that feels comfortable for you and eventually you're going to run into a family who wants things done differently and it will cause a lot of trouble that you don't know any other way to do it on your own.

I know very kind, loving, responsive parents and nannies who make a lot of mistakes due to lack of understanding. The ideal is a nanny with a solid understanding of developmental stages, Who is comfortable with a variety of approaches, who has worked with in multiple different family structures, and who has an innate love for children.

--Nanny with no degree

[Anonymous]

I'm not saying childcare knowledge isn't important. I'm saying a degree is not necessary. How do good parents become good parents? Usually not by getting an ECE degree, but they might go to parenting classes, read books, and research issues or talk to more experienced parents as things come up. An ECE degree may tell you what is normal among kids as a whole and give you a toolkit to be a good nanny to a wider range of families, but good parents only really need to become experts at raising their own kids, not 20 different types of kids. ECE nannies as a whole may be of higher quality than non-degrees nannies (or not -- maybe they would want to put their skills to use in a school or nonprofit and wouldn't enjoy being a nanny--and enjoying the job matters a lot here!), but individual variation is big enough that a blanket statement like "I only hire college educated nannies" is an expensive and not necessarily optimal way of finding a "good" nanny. Just think that parents shouldn't stress if they aren't able to find/afford an ECE nanny anymore than they should stress about not sending their kids to private school vs a (reasonably good) public one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have never had a nanny and came here to start learning. The "not my job" attitudes and obsession with money really have turned me off. I don't want someone in my village who is constantly critical, resentful, or thinking about how to squeeze me for cash. Daycare has been great for my child, but I was looking at a nanny in order to make life easier at home. After reading this forum, it seems like my home life would have a lot of drama and judgement.

Just look at it this way.

If you read the parents forum....about 99.9% of those people should never have children.

+1 Same with the Relationship forums... Wow, those people should live alone on an island.

I'll have to check that out. I normally check out the parent section for a good laugh of the day.

We really really need to make it a law you need a license to breed. From the posts and comments on the parent boards I'm amazed those people can breathe unassisted.

[Anonymous]

"Just look at it this way. 

If you read the parents forum....about 99.9% of those people should never have children. "

I've seen many IRRESPONSIBLE PARENTS, with thier phones in the park while thier kid gets bump by a stroller, giving everything thier kid wants.
There should be a law to teach couples how to be a good parent and get a diploma. I agree many parents I see talking here should not breed any more.