Another who pays question-- cabs/ubers/etc

[Anonymous]

We live just far enough from the Metro that it's not always a possibility for our au pair. She doesn't have access to a car either. We set her up with a metro pass and an Uber account, but with trips almost daily, it's becoming an unexpectedly large expense. I know some au pairs have to pay for their own gas, but what about their transportation like Uber? Do we split the costs with her? Pay a certain amount monthly? What do others do?

[Anonymous]

We live in NYC (quite close to lots of subway lines) and provide a metro card (with money on it, not a monthly pass as she doesn't use it enough), and a lyft account- but that is only for use with the kids or when she's out late and needs to get home safely. In general we expect her to use the subway or her own money for her off time.

Are you talking about daily trips for pleasure or with your kids? How far is it that she can't just walk with them? Our kids are big walkers (we walk 3/4 to school and back every day, plus to all activities except the few which necessitate a subway ride).

[Anonymous]

"We live just far enough from the Metro that it's not always a possibility for our au pair."

I am not sure what this means? Due to late night travel?

I think you definitely need to pay for your transport to school and anything to do with the kids. I would probably offer a monthly amount for personal transportation, but with the pretense that she is walking and taking the metro whenever possible. Uber should be for bad weather, late/dark, metro down, etc. Yes, if she is Uber'ing a few times per day for personal means, that is not your responsibility. However, keep in mind that if she can't freely move from your home without it sucking up a huge chunk of her stipend, you risk rematch.

[Anonymous]

Of course you pay for any transportation with the kids during work hours.

For personal time-
if you live < 1.2 mile from Metro, she should walk or ride bike there. (I live this far from Metro and walk or bike daily)
if you live >1.2 mile, either give her a ride there, or pay for her Uber there, but give her a budget limit of $30-$40/week. That should cover 6 rides or so.

[Anonymous]

If you live too far from the metro to walk you should provide her with a car at least some of the time.
Is there a bus?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you live too far from the metro to walk you should provide her with a car at least some of the time.
Is there a bus?

I'm only talking about her personal travel, not with the kids.

Yes there's a bus stop down the street and it goes to the Metro. But it takes a long time to get to the city that way, and she prefers Uber, which I totally understand. I just don't know how much I should pay for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course you pay for any transportation with the kids during work hours.

For personal time-
if you live < 1.2 mile from Metro, she should walk or ride bike there. (I live this far from Metro and walk or bike daily)
if you live >1.2 mile, either give her a ride there, or pay for her Uber there, but give her a budget limit of $30-$40/week. That should cover 6 rides or so.

$40 a week would be $2000/year, which seems like a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course you pay for any transportation with the kids during work hours.

For personal time-
if you live < 1.2 mile from Metro, she should walk or ride bike there. (I live this far from Metro and walk or bike daily)
if you live >1.2 mile, either give her a ride there, or pay for her Uber there, but give her a budget limit of $30-$40/week. That should cover 6 rides or so.

$40 a week would be $2000/year, which seems like a lot.

From the perspective of a HM who provides a car for AP to use when off, it doesn't sound like a lot at all. AP's insurance alone is 2500, plus the cost of wear and tear on the car, plus registration and upkeep and all that -- probably closer to $4500, to allow AP to drive in her off-time (I take the train to work, so my car is available for Ap anytime during the day with kids).

I therefore don't think 2K is a lot to pay for AP to have some freedom when she isn't working. In fact, I'd say that is very fair and will go a long way toward keeping your AP happy and with an easy means of transportation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course you pay for any transportation with the kids during work hours.

For personal time-
if you live < 1.2 mile from Metro, she should walk or ride bike there. (I live this far from Metro and walk or bike daily)
if you live >1.2 mile, either give her a ride there, or pay for her Uber there, but give her a budget limit of $30-$40/week. That should cover 6 rides or so.

$40 a week would be $2000/year, which seems like a lot.

Yes, but host families have a responsibility to APs to make sure they can make friends and have an American cultural experience. This means either providing a car or easy transportation options.
If you do not allow AP to get out of the house, that is not in the spirit of the program and she will almost certainly rematch.

Many HFs, myself included, spend $ thousands/year on car expenses for AP (insurance, wear & tear, some even have a 3rd car)

OP- how far are you from Metro? would you walk or bike there?

[Anonymous]

Of course, all APs prefer Uber. Gone are the days that APs drive the Metro, park, go downtown to party, and go back to metro and go home. Mainly because Metro closes at midnight now (are there plans to go back to late night hours). So it is a dilemma.

You do not have a car to allow her to use? Just trying to understand.

[Anonymous]

The trolls will hate me... but honestly?

$0.

These are her CHOICE. She needs to budget accordingly. She's taking Uber because you're paying for it and not making HER decide whether it's worth the money rather than the time taking the bus.

I gave mine a metro card with $10. She's gotten a ride to the metro a few times or taken a car to the metro (since we have a no driving in DC rule). She's also aware of the buses and bike (although she's scared to ride the bike).

Did you give her an expectation during matching that you would pay for this if you don't offer her occasional car use? Then, you need to set a limit.
Didn't mention it at all but told her she would have to figure it out? Definitely $0. Although if you've been paying for it already, you've set a bad precedent and can't do this.

Your AP sounds like she's totally taking advantage of you. Offer her some metro money loaded on her card every month but put your foot down about Uber. Expecting you to pay for daily Uber trips in her free time is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course you pay for any transportation with the kids during work hours.

For personal time-
if you live < 1.2 mile from Metro, she should walk or ride bike there. (I live this far from Metro and walk or bike daily)
if you live >1.2 mile, either give her a ride there, or pay for her Uber there, but give her a budget limit of $30-$40/week. That should cover 6 rides or so.

$40 a week would be $2000/year, which seems like a lot.

Yes, but host families have a responsibility to APs to make sure they can make friends and have an American cultural experience. This means either providing a car or easy transportation options.
If you do not allow AP to get out of the house, that is not in the spirit of the program and she will almost certainly rematch.

Many HFs, myself included, spend $ thousands/year on car expenses for AP (insurance, wear & tear, some even have a 3rd car)

OP- how far are you from Metro? would you walk or bike there?

This isn't about allowing her out of the house--we encourage her to get out of the house. And since we have school age kids, her days are free, which is why there are almost daily Uber charges. I agree with PP who said if she was paying her own way, there would be fewer Uber trips and more bus/Metro trips.
She doesn't have access to a car. We only have one that we share, and while she can use it at night, we only allow travel within a short range.

[Anonymous]

OP- how far are you from Metro? This is very relevant

[Anonymous]

also, is there 1 easy bus to take to get to Metro?

[Anonymous]

10:52 again. I still think that a HF that doesn't provide a car and isn't walking distance to a town needs to provide some kind of Uber/Lyft budget. Presumably, your AP wants to do something during her days when your kids are in school. Presumably, she isn't walking distance to a coffee shop to meet friends or to shopping or to the DC Mall. In this case, how is she supposed to go out and take advantage of your location and your kids being in school? Again, $40 per week seems very reasonable to me, but if it's too high for you then what about $25? That would still cover a couple of uber trips, and she would have something of a social life then.