Nannies - anyone ever heard of an arrangement like this...

[Anonymous]

I've never had a nanny and am in uncharted territory here, so please don't flame me.

Has anyone had a live-in arrangement with a single mom where you are with the kids full time, on duty 24 hours, M,T and then regular hours W, TH, F? I really want to leave DC and move to be with my family in N. Carolina - but I'd still have to come to DC on M, T and telework W, Th, Fr.

I have a high paying job and could afford to pay the nanny well, plus room and board.

Would this arrangement be worth it so my kid could grow up with his cousins and grandparents? (Grandparents could help nanny out, but are not young enough to really watch him fully on Mon/Tues - but maybe nanny could bring DS, age 2, over in the mornings).

I just feel like DS and I are alone on an island in DC, working to pay the bills and never being with the people we love.

[Anonymous]

I have been a Nanny for the last 8 years and never heard of an arrangement similar to what you have described but I am certain that you can find a suitable candidate to meet your needs. Place the ad and interview as many candidates as possible, be clear about your needs and expectations, talk to references re loyalty and reliability. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I have been a Nanny for the last 8 years and never heard of an arrangement similar to what you have described but I am certain that you can find a suitable candidate to meet your needs. Place the ad and interview as many candidates as possible, be clear about your needs and expectations, talk to references re loyalty and reliability. Good luck!

+1

[Anonymous]

So your child would be alone with the nanny two nights a week, sometimes three?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So your child would be alone with the nanny two nights a week, sometimes three?

One night - from Mon to Tues. I looked at the flights, and the schedule works such that I could take an early direct flight Monday AM and a late direct flight Tuesday PM.

[Anonymous]

I am sure you could find someone wonderful if you pay well and treat her well.

[Anonymous]

I haven't seen anything like this, but my first thought is:

Parents often build their schedule around a best-case scenario and then Murphy's Law blows it all to hell.

So my advice is to look at your plan through the lens of "what can go wrong with this?" And use that as a jumping off point.

So for starters, this is a fairly easy gig, but the disjointed schedule won't appeal to nannies who love to work with kids and want to have ownership over their work. This means your candidate pool will have a lot of people who don't need that sense of ownership. Either they are nannying for money and something else is where they get fulfillment, in which case they may eventually get the chance to pursue their true interest full-time, or they are just lazy and don't take pride in their work in any arena. Thus you could have high turnover.

Another thing to consider is that having a live-in is HARD in terms of negotiating your home with a roommate who is also an employee. If you don't get the dynamic right (both personalities and how you manage little issues early on), you may both be miserable.

Finally, you are relying on a tight flight schedule, but delays, disruptions and cancelations happen all the time.

[Anonymous]

Agree with PP 23:30 - the most important take away is that it can be done. And with the right Nanny and a fair employer (which hopefully you are ) - you can have success with your plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I haven't seen anything like this, but my first thought is:

Parents often build their schedule around a best-case scenario and then Murphy's Law blows it all to hell.

So my advice is to look at your plan through the lens of "what can go wrong with this?" And use that as a jumping off point.

So for starters, this is a fairly easy gig, but the disjointed schedule won't appeal to nannies who love to work with kids and want to have ownership over their work. This means your candidate pool will have a lot of people who don't need that sense of ownership. Either they are nannying for money and something else is where they get fulfillment, in which case they may eventually get the chance to pursue their true interest full-time, or they are just lazy and don't take pride in their work in any arena. Thus you could have high turnover.

Another thing to consider is that having a live-in is HARD in terms of negotiating your home with a roommate who is also an employee. If you don't get the dynamic right (both personalities and how you manage little issues early on), you may both be miserable.

Finally, you are relying on a tight flight schedule, but delays, disruptions and cancelations happen all the time.

Why not? It's still all day M-F, except maybe for some breaks like a 4-hour block where her child goes to grandma's. It's not really disjointed, just all day and overnight M, and late hours T.

OP, you would definitely need fair contingency plans in place for Tuesday PM, in case you are delayed or cancelled.

[Anonymous]

Okay, live-in nanny here, and as I've dealt with several strange schedules, I thought I would put my two cents in. You need to plan for the worst, hope for the best, so advertise for a nanny who can do both Sunday and Tuesday nights if necessary, but make sure you make it clear that it will be for extra money. You really need someone who can get along with your large extended family, but who is comfortable with setting up a schedule with very little oversight. You need someone who is comfortable having power of attorney for your child in case there is an emergency and you aren't in state. You need a nanny who is comfortable being the first contact for your child's school or preschool (if old enough).

My personal opinion is that you will soon find that you will need to leave Sunday night and return either Tuesday night or Wednesday morning, given that winter will be here before you know it. But if you find a great match for personality and childcare style? It can absolutely work!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, live-in nanny here, and as I've dealt with several strange schedules, I thought I would put my two cents in. You need to plan for the worst, hope for the best, so advertise for a nanny who can do both Sunday and Tuesday nights if necessary, but make sure you make it clear that it will be for extra money. You really need someone who can get along with your large extended family, but who is comfortable with setting up a schedule with very little oversight. You need someone who is comfortable having power of attorney for your child in case there is an emergency and you aren't in state. You need a nanny who is comfortable being the first contact for your child's school or preschool (if old enough).

My personal opinion is that you will soon find that you will need to leave Sunday night and return either Tuesday night or Wednesday morning, given that winter will be here before you know it. But if you find a great match for personality and childcare style? It can absolutely work!

If she's flying? It's a 45 minute flight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay, live-in nanny here, and as I've dealt with several strange schedules, I thought I would put my two cents in. You need to plan for the worst, hope for the best, so advertise for a nanny who can do both Sunday and Tuesday nights if necessary, but make sure you make it clear that it will be for extra money. You really need someone who can get along with your large extended family, but who is comfortable with setting up a schedule with very little oversight. You need someone who is comfortable having power of attorney for your child in case there is an emergency and you aren't in state. You need a nanny who is comfortable being the first contact for your child's school or preschool (if old enough).

My personal opinion is that you will soon find that you will need to leave Sunday night and return either Tuesday night or Wednesday morning, given that winter will be here before you know it. But if you find a great match for personality and childcare style? It can absolutely work!

If she's flying? It's a 45 minute flight.

After a few late flights? It sounds like op is planning on the first flight Monday morning and last flight Tuesday night. The first time she's late for work because the flight wasn't on time, she may need to reconsider her plans. As I said, I've dealt with several parents with unusual circumstances; every single one ended up having to change something because best case scenario doesn't work every time.

[Anonymous]

You're leaving your kid in NC while you're coming into DC right?

If you're moving closer to family, which includes cousins (so presumably your siblings with kids), then your family should be able to help out more. Even if the grandparents (your parents) are too elderly to do 24 hour care, why couldn't you have an arrangement where your kid stays over with the cousins every Monday night? You could offer to pay for a takeout dinner or something, but it's not strictly babysitting for pay since it's family (as least it wouldn't be in my family). That way, you could have a more standard nanny situation.

[Anonymous]

OP = you can find someone. I have a friend that commutes to NY and her nanny works a think two or three nights a week and lives in and then works more regular days on other days. I believe they pay her very very well and they found her through a reputable agency. Actually, I think she only lives in when needed and lives out when the parents are home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've never had a nanny and am in uncharted territory here, so please don't flame me.

Has anyone had a live-in arrangement with a single mom where you are with the kids full time, on duty 24 hours, M,T and then regular hours W, TH, F? I really want to leave DC and move to be with my family in N. Carolina - but I'd still have to come to DC on M, T and telework W, Th, Fr.

I have a high paying job and could afford to pay the nanny well, plus room and board.

Would this arrangement be worth it so my kid could grow up with his cousins and grandparents? (Grandparents could help nanny out, but are not young enough to really watch him fully on Mon/Tues - but maybe nanny could bring DS, age 2, over in the mornings).

I just feel like DS and I are alone on an island in DC, working to pay the bills and never being with the people we love.

Am very familiar with professional athletes whose spouses have similar arrangements when they want to travel to see their partners play on the road. It definitely can be done... for the right price. I suggest going through a very reputable agency.