Saying Goodbye ... the hardest part

[Anonymous]

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2017/07/21/the-heartbreak-of-being-the-nanny/?utm_term=.741107277af2


Reading this article today really hit home for me about the most challenging thing about being a nanny. I loved my last 3 charges with all my heart but had to leave for a new job. MB won't let me see them anymore and I understand why, but I am still grieving. It is so painful and I'm just having a hard time.

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry, OP. I cannot imagine. I see a former charge every single week and it has made the transition so much easier for him - and for me as well. My current charge is also a joy.

But not all my former charges hold that place in my heart. These two are just really special to me.

[Anonymous]

I made up a song to sing when I put my charges down for a nap - part of the lyrics are, "... when we part you still must know - love never ends because I am so devoted to you".

I am so sorry your former employer will not let you see the girls - that is such a huge mistake. No adult should ever "abandon" a child (and that is what the child feels - abandonment). There have been studies done that point to a emotional memory of loss that can change a child's life. I know this is true of my DH whose beloved grandfather died when he was three. DH has no conscious memory of his grandfather but has been effected by the loss. One moment a beloved person is in your life and the next moment he/she is gone. Of course it has an effect long after the conscious memory of the person fades.

It is not at all difficult to have your former nanny come over once a week after she stops working for you - and then gradually increase the intervals between visits.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks PPs. It is a comfort to know that other nannies "get" it. I think about them all the time. All I can do is hope and pray that they are doing well.

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry, OP. I would be heartbroken if I was not allowed to see my former charges. Why does your former boss think this is a good idea? It would do all of your hearts god to see each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am so sorry, OP. I would be heartbroken if I was not allowed to see my former charges. Why does your former boss think this is a good idea? It would do all of your hearts god to see each other.

Former boss was shocked and hurt when I quit, and it all went downhill from there. It's a real shame that several wonderful years with their family is moot over a rocky ending. I still can't 100% understand it.

[Anonymous]

I'm about to leave a job I've had for 3 years. I am excited to move on and see where I end up. Once I leave a job I really leave it and I don't need to see the kids again. Sometimes I see them again but it's not something I need or even want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm about to leave a job I've had for 3 years. I am excited to move on and see where I end up. Once I leave a job I really leave it and I don't need to see the kids again. Sometimes I see them again but it's not something I need or even want.

I have had one job like that, PP. But I have two former charges whom I adore and would miss like mad if I couldn't see them anymore. Perhaps you just haven't met that one child who becomes your heart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so sorry, OP. I would be heartbroken if I was not allowed to see my former charges. Why does your former boss think this is a good idea? It would do all of your hearts god to see each other.

Former boss was shocked and hurt when I quit, and it all went downhill from there. It's a real shame that several wonderful years with their family is moot over a rocky ending. I still can't 100% understand it.

Did you have a good reason for quitting? Is this something that can be repaired with your former boss now that things have settled down?