Advice needed
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Anonymous
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I've been asking my NF for months to baby proof the kitchen. Little one is 13 months and getting into everything, but is obsessed with the cabinet containing dishwashing detergents and ant traps, and the drawer containing several boxes of Ziploc bags just waiting to be pulled out one by one. Two weeks ago, DB showed me their childproof latches for securing the kitchen cabinets and drawers (saved from when their oldest was a toddler). He said he will need to use a drill to make holes for the screws to secure the latches, and asked me to "use the latches and a pencil to mark where the holes need to be drilled on the drawers and cabinets." I like to be as helpful as possible, and have agreed (in my contract) to help with any child related task, so I agreed.
But, I've come to realize that I'm just not comfortable with this task. I've never done anything like this before. I'm worried that I'll do it wrong and the latches won't work or DB will end up having to drill multiple holes in their beautiful new cabinets and drawers (they remodeled their kitchen last year). DB already has done this once before, and I've never done anything like this before; the closest I've come is installing simple over the doorknob childproof locks or helping my fiancé assemble ikea furniture at home. I might feel differently if DB took a little more time to show me exactly how to do it properly, but he asked very quickly, in passing, and he works long hours so he's almost always running out the door when I arrive and rarely arrives home before MB relieves me. I also might feel a little differently if I was hired as a household manager, and paid as such, but I'm just their nanny, and paid as such, and they have already been stretching my job duties beyond what was explicitly agreed to during contract negotiations, and well beyond what any of my previous NFs asked of me (and, until this particular project, I have always been eager to help), so I'm inclined to draw a line in the sand now before things get further out of hand. I have never said no to anything they've asked of me before, and I don't want it to come off like I'm not being a team player. I also feel bad that I agreed to do it, and am now going back on that. I want to text DB about it, basically just apologize and explain that while I want to help, I've never done this sort of thing before and I don't feel comfortable doing it. I'd bring it up in person but I just don't get the chance to speak with him in person often. What do you think, is it reasonable to text DB and explain I'm not comfortable with this task? Or is it better to instead just ask him to give me more guidance on how exactly to do it so I can feel more comfortable completing the task? Is a text good enough or should I wait to speak with him in person? I could also bring it up to MB, but I feel like since DB is the one who asked me then he is the one I should discuss this with. Thanks for your advice. |
Anonymous
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I think this is not rocket science. YouTube it or Google it if the directions don't make sense to you. At least try the pencil marks before you decide you are incapable of installing these locks.
It sounds like you need to address job creep with them, but this is totally a task I would ask my nanny to do -- there's no actual drilling involved, but it's time consuming to sit there and line up the pieces and make the marks on a million drawers and cabinets. Do a couple/few every day until it's done. After you've done the first two, it will be easy to do the next group, and you'll be able to tell your next family that you can help with baby-proofing the house. |
Anonymous
| This is easy. Give it a go. |
Anonymous
| My employers let me hire a handyman to do it. I suck at stuff like that. |
Anonymous
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I think what your DB requested is 100% completely absurd!!
What is he thinking...??!.... You are in charge of caring for his child. Period. It is entirely up to the parents to adequately + safely baby-proof their own home. None of this should be outsourced to a childcare provider at all. I would text DB that after thinking this whole thing through, that you just are not comfortable taking on this task. Like you OP, I am also totally clueless when it comes to stuff like this. He needs to outsource this to a handyman if he is indeed too busy to do it. Many of us Nannies are not expected to be a Jill of all trades. |
Anonymous
+ 1000x |
Anonymous
| Some parents are lazy and just don't want to be parents. |
Anonymous
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I think you're both ridiculous (you and the father.)
This is a VERY easy task. He shouldn't need help marking where to drill the holes and you shouldn't be so paralyzed by such a simple task. You sound like you're really looking for reasons to be annoyed OP. This hardly sounds like significant job creep. |
Anonymous
So says the guilty parent. |
Anonymous
The Nanny should not be asked to perform duties not related to the care of the child. This certainly is a duty the Father should take on!! Nanny is not his handyman, she is his child's caregiver!! He definitely overstepped his boundaries by asking the Nanny to assist in something that is clearly his duty. Since it is HIS home, then it is up to him to ensure that it is safe for his child. This is not the Nanny's responsibility at all. |
Anonymous
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OP, before you say no, I suggest you watch some youtube videos on how it is done.
After you have watched a few videos, you will have a better idea of what is involved and how it needs to be done. If you still feel apprehensive about the task, then, in my opinion, you are perfectly within your rights to say no. |
Anonymous
| Completely ridiculous - from start to finish, on all sides. |
Anonymous
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"I don't know how" or "I don't want to," ok.
"Uncomfortable with?" It sounds like you're being asked to place an IV or something. You can erase pencil lead. You can do one, and tell DB to see if it's right. Anyway, nothing more annoying than a woman who can't do basic household tasks, or a nanny who literally won't try to accommodate a child-related request for something she's been pushing for. |
Anonymous
| This is well within the bounds of a nanny job. This not difficult and having the safety latches will make your job easier. You're being absurd. |