MB ignores me...

[Anonymous]

When she comes in, she speaks to her two DD's only and blanks me. She does address me after a while but I find it very rude and awkward. I also find that I say something at times and she speaks over me or will not acknowledge what I said.
Should I raise it with her? She is a good MB mainly but I find it insulting.

[Anonymous]

She sounds very snooty to me, like she considers you only as an "afterthought" which I would find disconcerting at best.

Yes, try & talk to her about this issue, but be prepared to not be heard.

If that happens, learn to simply live w/it or look for a considerate family who will not regard you simply as the hired household help.

[Anonymous]

OP here, it is weird as at other times she can be really nice. Just don't appreciate the lack of acknowledgment and being made to feel uncomfortable. I get she might be distracted but it is rude.

[Anonymous]

Do you think she's making a conscious effort to focus on her kids, without realizing how it might make you feel?

I have two young kids and they demand my attention the minute I walk in the door. The entire evening goes better if I devote the first 2-3 minutes to giving them a long hug, saying hello, asking how their day was, etc... So I have learned to make sure I do that. (I do always say hi to the nanny though. But I often have to ask her to wait a minute so I can talk to the kids first.)

Maybe she's oblivious - not intentionally rude. Perhaps you can find a way to lightly say something, without making it a huge deal but making your point?

Also, perhaps try to change your expectations. Be busy and don't talk to her when she gets home. Know that she isn't likely to address you, and just respond when she does. If you can adjust to not being a priority for her when she walks in the door it might bother you less.

[Anonymous]

Maybe, PP. It's weird though because sometimes she will do the opposite and really want to chat. It's like she gets to choose and it is annoying. I will try and take it less personal and not make such an effort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe, PP. It's weird though because sometimes she will do the opposite and really want to chat. It's like she gets to choose and it is annoying. I will try and take it less personal and not make such an effort.

Yes, she does get to choose, just as any other person gets to choose if they want to have a conversation or not. Many people need decompression after work, I don't talk to anyone for a good hour. You are in her personal space at the end of her work day, maybe she just doesn't want to make small talk? This is the nature of nanny jobs, she pays you and so has fulfilled her obligation as an employer. If this is too much for your delicate ego perhaps you need to find a different field.

[Anonymous]

Shit up, PP. You're telling me a simple hello and thank you is too much for this MB to handle despite this nanny looking after this womans child? You must be an MB or you are going to post back on here and pretend you are a nanny.

Nobody said anything about full on conversation but manners cost nothing and the MB is setting herself up for a fall if she can't even be civil.

[Anonymous]

That was meant to say 'Shut up' obviously not the alternative

[Anonymous]

This is your second post about people "blanking" you, OP. Perhaps you're paranoid

[Anonymous]

Are you psychic now PP?

[Anonymous]

DB comes in, takes off his shoes, shushes me and runs to do bedtime with kids, even if I'm trying to tell him something important about the kids. While I understand that it's an important part of his and their day, I'm supposed to be off the clock, but I'm waiting to tell him...

[Anonymous]

That is extremely rude of him PP

[Anonymous]

I'm going to be honest, I'm so excited to see my kids at the end of each day, that I absolutely say hi to them/get hugs/ask the older one how her day went before I turn to our nanny (who I love and definitely don't mean to consciously snub!) and start chatting to her. In the morning, I greet our nanny immediately when she comes in, ask if she wants coffee or juice, about how her night/weekend was, etc. It's just that my kids are my focus when I first get home.

[Anonymous]

That may be so PP but all it takes is a quick smile and hello at the nanny before talking to the kids. There is no excuse for rudeness and takes no effort to do that one simple gesture. I am shocked to be honest that this happens. Very rude.

[Anonymous]

And it makes us think that you MB'S/DB'S don't like us and that you are above us. It is also really awkward to wait to be spoken to, trust me on that. It isn't a nice feeling.